


take my scars & make them stars

by Ashtheshortstack



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: A... medium burn?, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Coffee Shop AU (but a sad one??), Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Here's my angsty sick fic i've conjured, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Kristanna, Majority of the Hans crap is in the prologue fyi, Manipulative Relationship, Mentions of Character Death, Mentions of Chemotherapy, Modern AU, Mutual Pining, Sick Fic, more tags could be added, relationship repair
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:34:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23442532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashtheshortstack/pseuds/Ashtheshortstack
Summary: A traumatic childhood, horrible past relationship, and an unfortunate diagnoses leaves Anna Anderson at a loss of where to go until she and her sister meet the new barista at Arendelle Roasts.
Relationships: Anna/Kristoff (Disney)
Comments: 73
Kudos: 109





	1. prologue

Anna Anderson had grown up in a rather… _sheltered_ environment, not that she’d like to admit it. When admitting to a sheltered life, it meant she was implying she was naïve, innocent, and unsure of the world. Which wasn’t true at all.

Mostly.

Being raised in her household meant she was always in Elsa’s shadow. Her elder sister was born premature, and their mother had a lot of complications during delivery. Elsa was labeled a “sickly child” by her parents and family. Anna shouldn’t have even been born as a matter of fact. Her mother, Iduna, was told Elsa would be the one and only child she could ever give birth to.

Clearly, that was wrong. Anna came into this world as a “miracle baby,” but a _healthy_ one. Not one that her parents needed to fret over like Elsa.

Anna couldn’t even count the amount of doctor visits, hospital visits, or nights she was left alone with the housekeepers while her parents rushed Elsa out the door as she coughed wildly in her father’s arms. It was a miracle itself that Elsa survived cases of the flu, bronchitis, and even pneumonia once as much as she had.

“Can Elsa play today?” she had always asked.

Her father shook his head. “No, Anna. Elsa is sick today.”

“When will she get better?”

“I don’t know, Anna, I don’t know.”

When Elsa was seven, Agnarr and Iduna decided it would best to keep Anna away, for fear of her contaminating Elsa in any possible way. Her sister began wearing gloves on the regular. A mask over her face anytime they visited highly populated places. There were no more family vacations, no more sneaking outside to play, no more _leaving_ the house.

Anna was ripped away from her first year of kindergarten as she and Elsa had begun homeschooling instead. Not together, of course. They weren’t allowed to be in the same room hardly, let alone do schoolwork together. Anna was removed from school because of the germs she could contract from other children. The possibility of having friends was suddenly unavailable.

Her parents were often busy with work as well. With Agnarr being the CEO of the family business, and Iduna often shoveling whatever overloaded paperwork he had, they didn’t have time to homeschool their children themselves. They had money for that. So, they hired tutors to teach their children. And for Anna… that meant she rarely saw her parents at all.

Elsa had their undivided attention. Whatever Elsa needed… at any time. No more bedtime stories for Anna… no more play time with Anna… She never _wanted_ for anything. Anyone from the outside looking in would see that Anna had everything. Toys, games, books… but not the attention of her parents.

Not what she _knew_ she deserved.

Anna could recall the lonely nights, curled up in her bed with a Gameboy in her hand. No one would ever pop in and tell her lights out. Sometimes, only sometimes, Anna wished she could be sick too. She wanted her mother and father to check on her. She wanted them to be concerned for her well-being like they were for Elsa’s.

She was special too, wasn’t she? They told her she was a miracle. A child her mother wasn’t even supposed to have. And at times… Anna wished she hadn’t. What was the point of existing when no one cared that you did?

And that’s when Anna found herself nose deep in romantic novels… Hoping to feel _something_. _Anything at all._

She found herself wishing for that romantic moment of a prince coming to toss pebbles at her window. The desire for a man to come save her from this miserable life she’d been living consumed her mind. It was the one thing the prayed for, begged for… though there was no way to meet anyone when she was cooped up at home. Never allowed to leave the mansion for fear of getting her sister sick.

And no matter how tempted she was, Anna could never leave. If something were to happen to Elsa because _she_ broke the rules, the guilt would eat her alive. It was a thought she couldn’t have sitting on her conscious. It was one her parents would never let her live down. She couldn’t imagine what they’d say if she was responsible for making their first born ill.

With that, Anna decided to continue her streak of dubious daughter. She followed the rules, played nice, stayed out of Elsa’s space.

And still sometimes wondered if Prince Charming would show up for her to let her hair down to him.

o~o~o~o

Thankfully, Elsa got better the older the sisters got. She was still a bit OCD, standoffish, and their parents continued to cater to her every whim. But at least they started to sit at the dinner table together every night. It was largely spread out. Elsa sat on the opposite end as to stay away from everyone else. But it was a start. Being able to talk to her parents again thrilled her. Getting to know Elsa again, her sister she’d been _so close_ to before illnesses got the better of her, was so refreshing as well.

Anna had done everything she could to stay close to Elsa: slipping her drawings, toys, and cards under the door when she could. There was never a response, but she could see Elsa’s shadow take the item every time.

The car accident that took their parents from them when Anna was fifteen was completely unexpected. She wasn’t sure how they would make it through. Elsa would be next in line as CEO when she turned twenty-one, which was a lot of pressure to put on someone who had just lost her parents. Especially parents that coddled everything she did.

Gerda, one of their housekeepers, engaged in the lengthy process of becoming Anna’s legal guardian so the sisters could remain together in their home. It was a lot of paperwork. A lot of issues with the courts. But Gerda knew that Elsa couldn’t be Anna’s legal guardian as her health wasn’t up to par. Besides, it would only be three years until Anna was eighteen herself and could move away from home. She held onto that thought through it all. If she could just make it to eighteen, she could move out and find someone to be with.

The thought came to life sooner than Anna had expected. Gerda gave Anna the choice of enrolling in school and, of course, Anna took the opportunity to begin high school.

Which was just as much of a _nightmare_ as television and books made it out to be. There were thankfully girls that were kind to her and took them under their wing. They had all warned her about Hans, but she didn’t take heed them. All she saw was that prince in her fairy tale dream she’d been waiting to come true. He was the first boy to show interest in her, so she’d be damned if she didn’t take the opportunity to fall in love.

She convinced herself Hans was her “true love” like all the stories told her. Elsa didn’t like him when she introduced him, but Anna brushed it off to Elsa really not liking anyone. She should’ve listened to her sister. Listened to everyone, in fact. Anna wanted to deny she was clueless, but she was. She had no idea what love was really like. She’d barely gotten it from her parents. She and Elsa didn’t start getting close until after their parents were gone…

o~o~o~o

Senior Prom was the night that turned her dreams upside down. Hans whispered how “hot” she was in that dress. She was beautiful, he was lucky to have her, he wanted her on his arm to show off because he had the “prettiest girl in school” with him. He said all the right things. All the praises she needed to hear to flatter his way under her dress.

She’d let him. She wanted to get it over with, right? All of her friends weren’t virgins anymore. Anna was in high school, and she’d be in college the next year. It was normal to have sex with your boyfriend. Especially after prom. That’s what books told her. That’s what society told her.

The guilt ate at her afterwards. She wanted to enjoy it. This was her boyfriend, right? It should’ve been magical and great. Then why didn’t it feel that way? They were safe. Used protection. It wasn’t as if they were irresponsible.

But her body no longer felt like her own. He’d suddenly taken that from her. She felt _dirty._ Maybe, somewhere in the back of her mind, she _knew_ he was no good for her. Knew he was using her. Knew he didn’t love her. The rose-colored glasses seemed to shatter… but would anyone else ever want to be with her? She didn’t think so… She was just some broken girl with dead parents and hardly a home life. The fact that Hans even spared her a glance was lucky, at best. Maybe, her wish came true in some form or fashion.

Thus, she stayed. She desperately wanted someone to care. Hans had given her attention when no one else did. So what if wasn’t the “one true love” ideal relationship she’d always dreamed of? It was still someone to be with her. Someone to kiss, to hug, to cuddle… even if he _was_ kind of a jerk.

And she’d been stupid enough to stay with him through their first two semesters of college, despite how much worse he seemed to get. He got new friends in college… if Hans had been a jerk before, he was a real dipshit after he gathered his knew college posse. Anna had no desire to be around his frat buddies. They were obnoxious at best. They were loud, drank uncontrollable amount of beers, smoked _who knows what_ all the time.

Everything Anna had been conditioned to avoid like the plague. She wouldn’t dare tell Elsa, who had long since taken over the company and had much less time to pay attention to Anna’s relationship woes. Elsa seemed to have given up the idea that Anna would dump the pretentious boy and accepted he was a part of her younger sister’s life.

Despite how miserable he made Anna, she was just so desperate. She’d realize that eventually when she continued to stay even though she’d overheard him say to a frat buddy that he started dating Anna in high school because there would be money to inherit eventually. It broke her heart.

She still said “yes” anyway when he proposed.

o~o~o~o

It was the diagnosis that did her in.

When the doctor informed her, she had stage two breast cancer at the ripe age of twenty-one, a rarity. Anna decided a few things in that moment: if she was going to go through this, it sure as hell wasn’t going to be with Hans, if she was going to die (though a stage two diagnosis was hardly a death sentence especially since she was so young, but just a precaution) she sure as hell wasn’t going to let Hans have her money and profit off her dying, and she took this as her wake-up call, it was time to _live_ her life.

She marched into his home, not even to bother knocking on the door. Only to find her fiancé lip-locking with some dark skinned, bleach blonde, who was obviously trying too hard. Anna barked out a laugh when she saw them.

Hans gaped, eyes wide as he pushed the girl. “H-Honey! Can you believe this bitch!? She just came onto me!”

Anna quickly slipped the ring off her finger before waving at him. “Oh, don’t stop on my account. I’m just here to get my things because we’re through,” she stated boldly before chucking the ring at him. It smacked him in the forehead, and he yelped. “I have cancer, too, by the way,” Anna chimed as cheerily as she could. The girl on the floor just sat stunned at the whole exchange. Hans seemed to be a bit shocked at her admission as well.

“Y-You’re sick?”

“Not that you care, but no. I’m not _sick_ , I have cancer. There’s a difference.” _Sick_ was a word she associated with Elsa. The sickly one. That wasn’t Anna. She wouldn’t be that girl.

Hans quickly stood from the couch. “But, hun, you need someone to be there for you through this.”

She tried not to laugh at the term of endearment. Sweet talking her wasn’t going to convince her to stay, especially not after she just caught him sucking face with a sorority girl on their couch. Anna started up the stairs to get her things, glancing back at him. “Certainly not you. I have my sister.”

“Oh, please, Anna. What has Elsa ever done for you?”

The glare she shot him was deadly enough, she hoped. “Warned me about you, for one. And I’ve put up with your shit long enough, Hans Westergard.”

His feigned concerned expression quickly turned into a smirk, as if he could finally drop the act. “Please, you think your sister will take care of you? What a joke, Anna, you said yourself she couldn’t even take care of _herself_ growing up.”

There it was. That dark tone his voice took when he was talking about her behind her back. The one he tried to hide from her, but she’d heard anyway. He was only trying to keep her because he wanted to use her. He definitely saw dollar signs knowing she was diagnosed with cancer of all things. Hans didn’t know the details, so of course, he would just think she was going to die.

She continued up the stairs to their room, and he followed after her. Anna grabbed her suitcases from the closet. Yanking her clothes from the drawers and closets, she began shoving her garments into the bags. Hans stood in the doorway. If he was going to try to block her in, he had another thing coming.

“Honestly, Anna, this is ridiculous. You need someone to take care of you.”

“Like hell it’ll be you. I’d rather be surrounded by people who love me.”

He chuckled, leaning against the doorway. “Oh, if only someone did.”

Anna felt her fingers quivering. Oh, how _badly_ she wanted to chunk something as his face. But she didn’t. Knocking him out with a snowglobe would be a poor decision. “You said you did,” she hissed. “But I’ve known for so long that it was fake. That is was all a lie. But I still stayed and hoped you would change like a complete fool.” She slammed the suitcases shut and zipped them quickly. “Not anymore, Hans.”

Walking towards him, he did as she suspected and blocked her exit. She gave him a hard stare. “I’ll have a moving truck come to pick up the furniture my _sister_ paid for in a few days.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Her fist collided straight with his jaw. Hans stumbled backwards, falling to his ass on the carpeted floor. Rubbing his jaw, he glared up at her in surprise. Anna fled immediately. The girl was sitting on the couch awkwardly, staring at the engagement ring Hans had sat on the table.

“Good luck with him,” Anna blurted before slamming the front door behind her.

o~o~o~o

As she drove away, the house she’d shared with Hans faded quickly in the background, she shed tears she’d kept in for so, so long. She kept her gaze on the road, driving towards the mansion, and wiped away the dampness on her cheeks.

Anna had led a sheltered life and had had many wishes growing up. She wished to have a prince to come save her from the mansion and take her away. She wished to be sick like her sister, so her parents would pay her the same attention they gave Elsa…

She realized in that moment that she shouldn’t had had such desires in the first place. Wishing on a star in real life was entirely overrated…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, welcome to my sick fic. I've had a lot of family members who have gone through the process of chemotherapy and fighting cancer. It's something I've written about before, and honestly... it's my go to for angst. I just have a lot of feelings about it and like to get all of that out. 
> 
> There will be death and bit of graphic content (mostly just puking and blood mentions, just letting you know ahead of time.) Hans is a dick and manipulative and will pop up a few more times. Also, you are seeing smut in the tags as well. Yes. It'll be here. 
> 
> I know breast cancer is a rare cancer for anyone in their 20s to get, but I wanted to give Anna a cancer she had a higher chance of surviving. (Shout out to my grandmother who is a breast cancer survivor.) So, I just made her into a rare case. I don't plan on killing off Anna. Don't panic. 
> 
> This is a lot of information for a prologue, I know, but I wanted to get everything set up for the next chapter when Anna meets Kristoff. 
> 
> I know this set up seems sucky, but I promise this is still a fluff story LOL.
> 
> [tumblr](https://ashtheshortstack.tumblr.com)


	2. one

Anna was aware of the changes coming her way. And there were many. It was rare to be diagnosed with breast cancer under the age of forty to begin with, let alone having to be treated for it in her twenties. 

Of course, they had money. Elsa could afford to give Anna the highest quality care possible. She was lucky for that, she knew. And she was grateful for Dr. Mattias. He was really great, and she was glad that if this had to happen to her, this kind man was the one looking out for her. He told her she was his youngest breast cancer patient. Well, he’d remember her for something at least.

Dr. Mattias made the decision for surgery a bit easier.

Anna sighed, sitting in the chair as she fiddled with her thumbs. “You can’t tell me what to do?”

“I can’t exactly tell you what to do, no, since this is your body and you’re young. It’s ultimately up to you,” he explained as he leaned back against his own chair.

That wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She understood it wasn’t technically within his right to make this decision for her, but he needed to give her more advice.

“Dr. Mattias…” she began, “i-if I was your daughter, sister… e-even your mother, would you tell me to remove them?”

Pursing his lips, she could tell he was debating his answer. “Considering this is more on the aggressive side… if I had a family member in your position I would tell them to do it.”

That was it. That was her answer.

“Then we’re removing them.”

And so, the plan was set in motion. Chemotherapy would come after the breast removal. It was… terrifying to think about. Just how quickly her life could change. What her body was about to endure. She was afraid, sure. But… this could be the beginning of a new chapter.

Besides, Anna knew her breasts weren’t even that big. She wouldn’t look _that_ much different without them. On the outside, at least. She could always buy a bra to stuff when she went out. Under her clothes would be much, _much_ different. Still, she was unable to care. This was going to save her life. She didn’t think anyone else would be looking beneath her clothes ever again anyway.

 _Hans ruined that for her_ , she thought bitterly.

She’d never had a surgery before. Elsa and Gerda were both there by her side as she was wheeled away on the table. Anna gave a tiny wave with her fingers, giving them what she hoped was a reassuring smile to calm those worried gazes. Her nurses were nice enough. The surgery was supposed to take two to three hours then they’d stitch and bandage her up.

It was weird to think… she wouldn’t have nipples anymore. She giggled aloud at that, making the nurse give her a concerned look. Pursing her lips, Anna quickly shot her gaze to her lap. The pinch of the I.V. made her wince just a bit. It was something she’d have to get used to for chemo, she knew.

Dr. Mattias walked in the door, giving her a bright smile. “You ready?”

Nodding, she sighed. “As ready as I can be.”

“You’ll make it through this, Anna, you’re young and healthy.”

She laughed at that. “Besides the cancer, right?”

Dr. Mattias had gotten used to her horrible jokes to lighten the mood at that point. So, in response, he gave a throaty chuckle. “Yeah, besides that.”

“Thank you for checking in, Dr. Mattias.”

He smirked with a curt nod. “Anything for my favorite patient.”

“I’m sure you say that to all of your patients.”

Dr. Mattias hummed before heading towards the door. “Maybe, I do.”

It wasn’t long after he left the room that Anna felt her breathing slow. Her head lulled to the side, letting her body relax. She’d never experienced anesthesia before… but her limbs suddenly felt like lead, and she let her eyes droop closed. There were vague memories of nurses walking in and out of the room. She remembered hearing more commotion around her until everything finally fell silent. For the first time in forever… Anna felt at peace.

o~o~o~o

The weeks following her surgery were hellish, to say the least. She was sore with her skin black and blue. Elsa giving her sponge baths was more embarrassing than she’d like to admit. It was instinct to want to cover her chest before she’d remember—oh—there wasn’t anything there to cover. Draining the fluids from her incision, having Elsa help change her bandages, trying to get clean enough to _not stink_ but not get her stitches wet.

She was so relieved when it was time for her follow-up. Anna was so ready to _know_. She wanted to know what she was going to look like the rest of her life. Elsa had questioned her about getting implants, but Anna just laughed. No way she was putting something synthetic in her body after dealing with this. There was no predicting how her body would react.

Dr. Mattias gave her the all clear to function as normal again. She could drive again, take showers again, even go swimming if she wanted to. Anna wasn’t quite sure if she was ready to figure out the whole… bathing suit situation yet.

“It looks like everything is healing up nicely, Anna. We’ll see you back here in a month to start chemotherapy,” he said as he made notes on a clipboard.

Anna had so many questions, but she just didn’t know how to ask them. “What…” her voice was weak, but loud enough that it caught her doctor’s attention. “What really happens with chemo?”

Sighing, Dr. Mattias dropped down to his chair, sitting eye level with her. “It really depends on the person. There’s a lot of side effects that could occur. Obviously, hair loss is usually a given. The rest could be really anything. Fatigue, bruising, numbness in limbs, loss of taste, short-term memory loss are side-effects I’ve seen in my patients.”

“So, chemo really sucks, huh?” she asked while forcing a weak smile.

“Yes, it really does.”

o~o~o~o

Elsa is there for her first round of chemo. Her sister sits in the chair beside her, taking her hand gently as they pinch the I.V. into Anna’s arm.

She can’t see Elsa’s face since it’s covered by a mask. It was still too dangerous for her sister to be exposed to any serious illnesses in the hospital, but there was a sympathetic glint in her crystal eyes. “Are you okay?”

Anna can’t help but stare at the drip as it drains slowly into her skin. Knocked out of her thoughts, she does a double take towards her sister. “What? Oh! Y-Yeah, I’m fine.”

“It’s okay to be afraid, Anna, I understand.”

She knew she did. Elsa went through turmoil herself growing up, despite how bitter it made Anna, she knew it wasn’t her sister’s fault. Elsa wasn’t responsible for her parents’ choices. Sometimes she worried Elsa felt guilty. But she made up for it being by her side during this battle. That’s what exactly Anna needed. Her only living family left being there for her, despite the risk of her own health just walking into a hospital… it meant a lot.

It was nice to have their relationship slowly building again. It was nice living Elsa and Gerda… that was home. Truly.

“Thank you, Elsa… for being here.”

Even though Anna couldn’t see her mouth, she could see the movement of her cheeks and the twinkle in Elsa’s eyes. “Of course. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here for you.”

“I love you,” she told her. Truly and sincerely. Just these last two months of Elsa’s support meant everything to her. It was nice to _finally_ have her sister back.

Elsa squeezed her fingers. “I love you, too, Anna.”

o~o~o~o

It was happening. Anna knew it would. Just… not so soon. She gaped down at her hairbrush, seeing the chunks of ginger hair matted into bristles. Quickly, she dropped the brush and gazed at the mirror. She threaded her fingers through her locks, gazing down at her hands in horror as whole handfuls of her hair covered her palms.

Heaving a breath, Anna grabbed the counter for leverage, feeling as though she could collapse any moment. She gave in, letting out a shrieking sob. Falling to her knees on the porcelain tiles, Anna wept. The hairbrush fell to the floor with a clatter. She curled into herself, hugging her torso tightly as hot tears streaked down her flushed cheeks.

“Anna?!” Elsa called before bursting into the door.

Sniffling, she wiped her nose on her sleeve, waving her sister off. “I-I’m fine.”

Her sister was on the ground next to her quickly, hands gripping her shoulders. “Hey, don’t lie to me what’s wron—” she saw it then. The hairbrush and the locks of hair scattered on the floor. “Oh, Anna…”

Elsa tugged Anna into her, winding her arms around her shoulders. The dam broke loose as Anna gripped her tightly in return. Cries echoed through the bathroom as she buried her face into her sister’s shoulder. There was a silence as Elsa rubbed soothing circles along Anna’s back. As her sobbing and sniffles eventually died down, Anna struggled to catch her breath.

Helping her to a stand, Elsa smoothed her hands over Anna’s upper arms. “It’s okay.”

“I-I just…” Anna took in a breath, finally calming herself enough to speak. “I just didn’t know it’d happen this fast.”

Her sister smiled. “You know what?” Elsa passed her before dipping down and opening their father’s old drawer, much to Anna’s confusion. She emerged with their father’s electric razor.

Gaping at her, Anna flicked her gaze between her sister’s grinning face and the razor. “Elsa, you’re not serious.”

“I’m dead serious. We’re taking your power back. Cancer may be making you lose your hair, well, screw it. You’re going to be bald on your _own_ terms, not when cancer tells you.”

Anna let out a laugh of disbelief but smiled, nonetheless. “You’re crazy.”

Elsa simply cocked a brow, hitting the button and the shaver began buzzing.

Sighing, she caved. She pulled the stool out from the vanity and took a seat. “Okay, fine. But if we’re going bald, we’re doing the eyebrows too.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Tongue poking out between her lips, Elsa leaned over Anna’s head before pressing the razor lightly to her scalp and shaving a stripe down the middle of her hairline. Anna’s jaw dropped at the sight of a bald line going down the center of her head. Reaching up, she touched it, feeling the hairless skin.

“Oh my god.”

“Well, it’s done now. Might as well finish.”

“Elsa, oh my _god._ ”

o~o~o~o

Anna had learned the “poor you” stare long ago. Any time Elsa went out in public with her gloves and mask, it was the look she got. Those over sympathetic stares of people wanting to say “aww, poor thing” but the words never come out. But then they realize they’re gawking and quickly turn away as if they hadn’t noticed at all.

But never had Anna had the “poor you” directed at _her._ She had made a point to still dress feminine… She was bald without boobs. It was all she had left, really. She made a point to wear frilly tops, short high waisted shorts, and hoop earrings. Things that screamed: “I’m a girl!!” Any beanie she wore was a bright pink. For breast cancer? Sure. But it was also her favorite color, so why not? It added to her overly girly assemble.

Thinking about how she _hated_ Elsa having all the attention… boy, didn’t she _wish_ Elsa was still getting the attention for wearing satin gloves in the grocery store. She’d given anything to blend in. Dr. Mattias had given her places to find reasonably priced wigs, but when Anna tried them on… it felt _odd._ They irritated her scalp, made her itch. She much preferred soft beanies to cover her pale head.

Elsa showed her different ways to apply makeup. It helped, Anna thought. Anything to make her feel more comfortable in this new body. In this new normal that she was steadily being forced to adjust to. It was weird to rub her eyes and lose a few eyelashes. It was weird not having to _shave_ anything anymore. Her body that was once covered in fair ginger hair was suddenly bare, with only her freckled covered skin to vouch for her hair color.

Anna hadn’t meant to shelter away into their home. It just— _happened._ She had come to dread leaving the mansion just because of the _looks._ People pretended like they weren’t pitying her, weren’t staring at her. But she knew they were. It was okay. She understood. Seeing someone bald with no eyebrows or eyelashes? She kind of looked like an alien. Felt like one too…

She’d grown accustom to going to the hospital for chemo treatments, staying a few days, then heading back home. No pit stops. Nowhere needed to go in between. It wasn’t like she could go hang out at the coffee shop like she did when she was taking college courses. Besides, what if she ran into— _him._ That was the last thing she wanted. Letting that grimy man see her at her lowest would be mortifying. Especially since she’d come to feel better after group therapy at the hospital. Hans hadn’t traumatized her, by any means. Anna was mostly pissed off at herself for staying with the jerkwad so long… but she wasn’t going to dwell on him!

Besides, coffee was off the menu. Doc said it caffeine was a no go. She had to stick to the healthy meal-plan they’d given her. A healthy diet meant a healthier body to fight whatever cancer and chemo both would try to do to her.

But _apparently_ , Elsa was growing tired of her hermit activities. She was one to talk! She never went _anywhere!_

Anna was curled on the couch, a book her hands as she noticed Elsa coming down the curved staircase dressed in a casual but cute summer assemble. Eyeing her sister, she squinted. “Elsa? Why are you dressed like that?”

Elsa wasn’t one to wear _shorts_ , by any means. Unless she was going somewhere. Her sister tended to lounge around their home in leggings or gowns.

“ _We’re_ going to the coffee shop.”

Smacking her book closed (she forgot to save her place!), she shook her head. “Oh ho, ho, _no_. I’m not. What if I see some old classmates? I can’t even get any coffee.”

“Okay, but will _one_ chocolate chip muffin kill you?”

Anna blinked. “Um, _yes._ Quite possibly, Elsa.”

“I won’t tell Dr. Mattias if you don’t.”

She glowered at her. “I can’t lie to my doctor. That’d be stupid. I know it may not be _that_ big of a deal, b-but… can you _imagine?_ He’ll hit me with that ‘disappointed dad’ look so quick!”

Elsa came over, taking her book from her hand. “Dr. Mattias said to be careful, but he wants you to _live_ your life, Anna. Isn’t that why you came back home to begin with? To get away from the toxicity so you could live _happily?_ ”

“Yes,” she muttered under her breath. She hated it when Elsa was right.

“Look, sis, if anyone knows about not living a life, it’s me. But _you’ve_ inspired _me_ to stop being afraid of living. In _fact_ , I’m going out without a mask today.”

“But still the gloves?”

“I’ll breathe the air, but I’m not _touching_ people.”

Anna laughed at that. She sighed with a bob of her head. “Okay, fine. I’ll go with you. Let me get ready to go.”

“Do you want false lashes today? I bought extras.”

She paused on the steps, pursing her lips to think about it. “You know what? I will today. If I’m going out and could possibly see people I know, I may as well look hot doing it.”

Elsa beamed. “That’s the spirit.”

o~o~o~o

Ah, yes. There it was. The _stare._ Many patrons of the store flicked glances in Anna’s direction. She just chose to ignore them. Elsa ordered for them, much to Anna’s delight, and brought back a chocolate chip muffin to the table with her.

Anna groaned. “Elsa, I told you not to.”

“It’s _one_ muffin, Anna. I’ll take the heat at your next appointment, okay?”

“Fine,” she huffed. She couldn’t argue too much. Anna really did want to eat the muffin. She took the paper wrapping off, glancing around. She tried to ignore the unwanted audience. It was _fine._ She was _fine._ But when Anna took a bite and chewed, she grimaced and sat the muffin back on the wrapper.

“Anna? You alright?”

Swallowing, she forced a smile. She couldn’t taste it. The sweetness on her palette was dulled, despite how she desperately longed for her taste buds to cooperate. It _sucked._ Not to mention the ache from the ulcers that were developing along her gums.

Anna hadn’t confessed to her sister about how much it sucked to eat. She’d casually been eating ramen, mashed potatoes, and soups without her sister noticing. Gerda had noticed, she was sure. Since Anna would take whatever Gerda and pick at the food, and her former guardian started making much softer foods. Even offering Anna jello or pudding in the middle of the night.

Trying another bite, Anna pretended to enjoy it and not express her frustration to her sister.

Elsa kept glancing past Anna’s shoulder, and she grew more and more annoyed with her sister’s gaze flickering away. Finally, she caved. “Elsa, _what_ are you looking at?”

“The barista. He’s checking you out, I swear.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “He’s looking at me because I’m clearly a cancer patient, Elsa.”

“No, seriously, Anna. I _know_ the pity look and that’s not the look he’s giving you.”

Scoffing, she set her muffin down. “Watch, as soon as I look at him he’s going to look guilty and hide.”

And Anna did just that. She flung herself around in her chair. There was no line at the register at that moment, so she had a clear look at him. He was a bulky guy. Not one that’d be expected to be making coffee. He was tall, blonde… and maybe kinda cute. Not that she’d admit it aloud. His golden-brown gaze met hers. He seemed surprised that she’d spun in her seat so quickly, but he didn’t break the eye contact. The guy just… _smiled at her._ Then turned his attention to the countertop he was apparently supposed to be wiping.

Anna gaped, turning back in her seat, sucking in her bottom lip as she felt her cheeks heat. “H-He just…”

“He smiled at you.”

“What does that mean?” she hissed quietly.

“Go talk to him.”

“ _What?”_

Elsa slipped her the credit card across the table. “I want another s’mores latte to take home, pretty please.”

“Someone in your condition shouldn’t drink this much coffee.”

Her sister waved a palm. “Coffee has nothing to do with respiratory problems.”

Anna squinted at her. “Uh huh. If I humiliate myself, you’re fully to blame.”

“I’m willing to take the heat.”

Sucking in a breath, she stood from her seat, making her way over to the counter. She stole a glance back at Elsa, who gave her a cheeky, apologetic wave. Anna didn’t think her sister actually felt guilty at all. She stood patiently since the blonde hadn’t seen her approach. He glanced up, noticing her, his hand slipping off the counter with the wipe.

He recovered quickly, standing up straight and clearly his throat. “Uh, hi. I-I mean… What can I get you?’

“A 12-ounce s’mores latte, please?” she asked.

He nodded. “Name?”

“Elsa.”

Nodding again, he picked up the cup, fumbling with it a moment before catching it in his hand. “Right,” he sputtered out before fleeing towards the machine. Anna watched him from the counter. He seemed to be giving himself a little pep-talk while working.

 _What a cute dork_ , she mused.

He came back, coffee in hand as she extended the card to him. Her breath hitched when his hand brushed hers. His hands were _huge._ She was amazed at how tiny she looked in comparison.

As he worked the register, he cleared his throat. “E-Excuse my prying, I may be completely out of line here. B-But someone in your— _condition_ shouldn’t have coffee, should they?”

Lips parting in surprise, Anna couldn’t hide how stunned she was. It shocked her to have a total stranger ask her about her health. She couldn’t even find it in herself to be offended. It was simply elating to have someone _ask_ and not _stare_.

He seemed ready to backpedal when she finally got the nerve to answer. “I-It’s not for me. It’s for my sister, Elsa.”

“Oh!” he nodded frantically as he handed the card back to her, not touching her this time. Anna didn’t want to admit she was a bit disappointed. “Right, that would—that would make sense, yes. So—So… if you’re not Elsa… what’s your name?”

Anna cracked a smile. “It’s Anna.”

“Nice to meet you, Anna,” he said quietly

She glanced at his name tag. “You too, Christopher.”

His brows furrowed then he glanced down at his name tag. “Oh! Oh, right. Yeah. It’s Kristoff, actually. My boss—well, there was a misprint.”

He was charming in his own awkward, cute way wasn’t he? Anna chose to ignore the way her heart fluttered hopelessly in her chest. She gave him a nod and a smile. “Well, then… nice to meet you too, _Kristoff.”_

Kristoff’s lips twitched into a smirk. “Y-Yeah.”

“See you around,” she added before retreating towards the table.

Elsa was grinning, far too proud of herself when Anna reached the table. Sliding her sister her coffee, Anna buried her face her palms.

“Anna, you did _great,_ ” she cooed.

She shook her head.

“Oh, stop being dramatic. He’s so into you.”

Anna glanced back over her shoulder at Kristoff, who was now serving a group of customers that had arrived. “No way. There’s no way,” she said and turned back to her sister. “There’s no way a guy that cute would like a bald girl with no boobs.”

“So, you admit you think he’s cute?”

Standing, her chair squeaked as it slid from the table. “I think it’s time to go, Elsa.”

Elsa gave a knowing tilt of her head, quirking her brow. She took the credit card from Anna, slipping it into her purse and pulling the bag over her shoulder. Elsa took her time picking up her coffee from the table, making Anna sigh in annoyance. She knew sure as hell that her sister was taking her sweet time on purpose.

As they headed out the door, Anna chanced one last glance at Kristoff. He _waved._ And she couldn’t help it… and gave a tiny wave of her fingers in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refused to go to sleep until I wrote the Kristoff scene. 
> 
> It's 2:45AM. RIP ME.


	3. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: chemo treatment and vomiting

Anna had already decided she would be stopping by Arendelle Roasts after her treatment today and _prayed_ Kristoff would be working again this time. She wouldn’t dare tell Elsa. Her sister had insisted on tagging along but since Elsa hadn’t been feeling well, Anna used it as an excuse to tell her to sit this one out.

Was it horrible for her to use her sister’s health issues as an excuse so she could go talk to a guy? Yes. Absolutely. But Anna had a life-threatening disease that could easily take her out. She only had one life to live and if involved flirting with a big, burly, blonde barista… how could Anna resist?

Anna glared at the I.V. drip. It was taking _far too long_. Did it always drip that slowly? How did Elsa have this much patience when she accompanied her? Usually, she would feel a bit drained after a round of chemo, but Anna had to keep her energy up. For… _reasons._

Her toes tapped on the carpet as she stared at her book in her lap. The words on the page jumbling together as Anna simply almost went cross-eyed at the font. Her brain was nowhere near focused enough to process the English language. All she could think about was what she would say to Kristoff when she saw him. Honestly, she hadn’t planned this idea out at all. What if she got tongue tied!? She didn’t have Elsa to help her out of this one.

Maybe, this was a bad idea. Going home was probably the better option, right? Who was she fooling? Like she told Elsa: no man would willingly date a bald girl with no boobs. Anna didn’t think she was really anything to look at _before_ all of this, let alone now.

She slammed the book closed, groaning as she pulled out her phone instead. How would she know that Kristoff was even working again? It wasn’t like she knew his shifts or anything. If this stupid chemo didn’t _hurry up_ she really would lose her mind.

 _Why_ had he noticed her in the first place!? Well, she _knew_ why she garnered the attention of others, but his attention was different. Why didn’t he look at her like everyone else had?

She had to know why. Desperately desired more knowledge about him… Elsa had gotten her to admit she found him to be attractive. Almost looked out of place for his career choice. She idly wondered if this was just a temporary job for him… She remembered how broad his shoulders were, the messiness of his blonde locks, his hands—God, his _hands_ —were so much bigger than hers. The touch of his rough skin had startled her when she handed over her sister’s credit card. What would it be like if she _held_ his hand? Would his fingers engulf hers?

…And she was way off base here. There was _no_ indication from him that he was interested in her _like that_. She couldn’t even bring herself to admit having tiny crush on him… She was a grown ass adult, dammit! She couldn’t be fawning over some—some… _guy_ she saw in a coffee shop. Anna wasn’t that desperate little girl who desired the love of a prince charming anymore. She’d been there, done that, and _learned_ that lesson.

But still. Yes. Maybe—Maybe, he _was_ cute. But that was okay. She could admit someone was cute. Didn’t mean she wanted to date him. Or—sleep with him?

Wait. No.

Stop.

Not going there.

Anna shook her head, clearing her head of such thoughts. She knew what men desired. And she certainly wasn’t it. Not anymore. Her body was weak and scrawny. At times, she barely even felt like a person herself. Besides, ever since starting chemo her sex drive was _zilch_. Of course, she hadn’t _told_ anyone that. Elsa wasn’t one to discuss such topics. And like hell she’d tell Gerda. It was embarrassing enough to lose her libido. Talking about it would be much worse.

She couldn’t help it though. Her attraction to Kristoff did elicit _some_ thoughts in her mind. He was just so different than Hans. Or any other man she’d found desirable in the past. Since when did she like thicker men with big hands and probably bigger—nope.

Anna felt her face flush, mortified. No. _Nada._ She would not— _could_ not have such thoughts about a man she had _just_ met. Why did her mind keep wandering to improper territories? She tried to reason with herself. She hadn’t been— _intimate_ with anyone in a while. She’d been going through treatments almost three months, she left Hans after her diagnosis five months prior… And she stopped sleeping with him when their relationship was on its last threads. That had to be why. A completely _reasonable_ explanation as to why she’d be thinking about Kristoff in that way. About how it may feel to be wrapped in his arms and—

Dr. Mattias opened the door.

Thank God.

“Good afternoon, Anna,” he began as he started in the room. “How are we feeling today?”

Sighing, she smiled at him as he took a seat on the stool across from her. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You look awfully flushed.”

Her hand went to her cheek, feeling the heat on her skin. “Ah—I-It’s a little hot in here, I guess.”

Dr. Mattias eyed her a moment. He could usually see right through her. “Do we need to adjust the thermostat?”

“No! It’s fine. Just—I’m fine.”

Humming, he wrote on his clipboard in hand. “Okay… What about symptoms? What have you been feeling?”

“Fatigue, mostly. I’ve been tired _all_ the time. Sometimes I lose my breath if I’m too active and need to sit down,” she told him before pursing her lips. “The mouth sores are pretty bad.”

That got him to look up from his writing. “Mouth sores?”

“Yeah. I have a lot of ulcers. I’ve been sticking to soup and liquid foods to help the pain. Solid foods haven’t really been my friend. I-It feels like I’m eating bits of glass. I can’t—I can’t really taste much either. But all of that is normal, right?”

With a sympathetic nod, he took more notes on his paper. “Yes, those are definitely side effects I’ve seen from treatment before. I would suggest getting a mouth sore rinse. Should be near regular mouth wash in a store. It won’t prevent more from appearing, but it’ll at least relieve some of the pain from the ones you already have. There’s nothing we can really do about loss of taste, but most patients have their taste return once in remission.”

Anna nodded in understanding. “That’s great! So, I won’t be like this forever?”

Dr. Mattias smiled at her optimism. “Most likely,” he paused, giving her another glance and cleared his throat. “Anna, I need you to be honest with me. If the pain becomes too much, a feeding tube is always an option.”

He hadn’t meant for the statement to jar her as it had, she knew. But it did anyway. Silently, she gave a nod, unable to look him in the eyes.

“I’m not trying to scare you—by any means. However, the last thing I want to put you through is unnecessary suffering,” he explained.

“I understand.”

o~o~o~o

Arendelle Roasts wasn’t too far from the hospital. That’s how Elsa had discovered the quaint coffee shop in the first place. It was only about a ten-minute walk. Anna could make it, she knew. Despite being a little drained and sore, she would be fine. She had stuck around the hospital for a bit anyway, got a small healthy snack, and met with the counselling group. It gave her plenty of time to sit and gather herself.

Starting her walk, she would see if he was there before she strolled in the doors of the shop, thankfully. The large windows showed the entire inside of the establishment. Anna tried to be casual when she looked for him. She smiled despite herself when she saw him behind the register. There was someone else with him today, and she worried a bit that maybe the other guy would try to take her order.

But… mustering up her pride, she walked in the door anyway. The bell chimed over the doorway, making the boys look up. Kristoff seemed stunned to see her and said something to the other guy quickly before shooing him.

“A-Anna,” Kristoff sputtered as she reached the counter. He glanced behind her. “No Elsa today?”

“O-Oh.”

 _Shit_. She knew she’d forgotten something. A _lie_ to tell him as to why she was here. He was looking at her expectantly. Anna knew he’d probably buy whatever she told him, but what made the most sense?

“Well, Elsa’s sick today and couldn’t come out today. S-So, I thought I’d bring her a latte back home.”

Kristoff smiled at that with a nod. “S’mores. 12-ounce, right?”

Blinking, her jaw went slack. He _remembered_ what she had ordered for Elsa. And it had been almost two weeks since she last saw this man. Again, he was looking at her. Shit, she was slow today. But he never gave her any sign he was annoyed or irritated. He just—just _waited_ patiently.

“Y-Yeah. That’s right.”

“Got it,” he said and started towards the machine. Anna pulled out her card, fingers quivering as she waited. God, she kinda hoped he would touch her hand again. He was so _warm_ last time.

When he returned with the cup, she went hand him the card, but he held up a hand to stop her. “I’m off the clock. Consider it on the house.”

Anna gaped. “Wait, what?”

Kristoff laughed at that. “I’m clocked out. I’ll pay for the coffee.”

“Thank you,” she replied, stunned and awestruck that he _made her coffee_ when he wasn’t on shift anymore.

Do it, Anna. Just do it! Ask him! Ask him to talk! He’s not working! _Do it, do it, do it!!_

“Since you’re off the clock would you—uh—want to—t-talk? Talk to me? Like hang out? Uh…”

Great. She sounded like an idiot. His eyes widened at her, lips parted.

The other boy came back around the corner before Kristoff could answer. “Ryder,” according to his nametag. But Kristoff’s was wrong… so who knew if that was his name. He smiled. “Hi! You must be Ann—oof!”

Kristoff elbowed him quickly. “12-ounce, s’mores latte. Write it on my tab,” he said swiftly before turning his attention back to her. “And yes. We can stay here, if you’d like?”

Anna nodded quickly, trying not to seem too eager. Smiling, he took off his vest before shooting a glare towards Ryder who just smirked far too smugly. Kristoff ruffled his blonde locks. “I’ll be right back. You can find a table? O-Or it doesn’t have to be a table, obviously, can be one of the couches if that’d make you more comfortable. Or downstairs, or the—”

Ryder cleared his throat.

Cheeks flushing, Kristoff’s mouth snapped shut. “I’ll find you.” He retreated to a back room.

Anna tapped the cup in her hand and took a step back.

“Nice to meet you, Anna,” the barista grinned.

She giggled at that, giving him a curt nod. “Ryder?”

He nodded as customers began to trickle in as the bell chimed.

Anna found a table nestled in the back of the coffee shop. A habit she’d come to develop since her treatments began. The less noticeable she was, the less stares she got. Kristoff easily found her, though, pulling out the seat across from her on the table.

“I’m guessing you can’t be here long?” he asked.

She was confused by that. “What?” she tilted her head, a puzzled look etched along her face.

He gestured towards the coffee with his head. “The coffee. For Elsa. It’ll get cold if you stay here too long.”

Anna sucked in a breath at that. “Oh! Right! Um. _No_. I don’t have to leave. Cold coffee has never really bothered her, anyway. S-She could always warm it back up if she wanted to. In the, uh, microwave?”

A smirk twitched along his lips. “Okay… If you say so. I would suggest pouring it into a mug before doing that.”

Nodding quickly, Anna agreed. “Right.”

Why was she like this!? She never… well, she’d always been awkward. But with Hans she’d never felt this? It was exciting and new with him since she’d never had a guy look her way before. With Kristoff, however, her heart pounded, words tumbled from her mouth before she could rationally think about it.

How much was of it was Kristoff? How much of it was chemo brain?

She didn’t _know._

There it was again. That look he gave her as if he was waiting for her to speak. But instead of thinking she blurted out: “So, what do you do?”

Blinking, he bit back a smile, obviously trying not to laugh as Anna let out a mortified groan and plopped her head on the table. “Don’t answer that,” she muttered.

He did anyway. “I make coffee sometimes.”

Scoffing, more at her stupid question than him, she dared to look up at him. “You don’t say?”

Kristoff hid a chuckle behind his hand. “I’m in doing on the job training for construction on the weekends,” he told her. “I enrolled in some classes over at East too. That’s what _else_ I do.”

Anna perked at that. She could talk about that. “I went to East… before.”

She didn’t need to elaborate. He seemed to understand as he nodded. “What’d you study?”

“English.”

He grimaced with a hiss.

“Hey, it’s not that bad, really. I planned to go to uni and study British Literature, but ya know, life had other plans,” she said with a shrug.

Kristoff hummed in agreement. “Yeah, it tends to throw curveballs, but it’s how you deal with it that matters, right?”

Brows raising, she was a bit shocked at his words. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Sooo… tell me, what about you? Do you do anything?”

Anna shook her head. “I can’t work right now, and I’ve never had a job before.”

He seemed confused at that. “What? You’ve never had a job? How old are you?”

“I’m twenty-one,” she replied before giving him a look. “What about you? How old are you?”

“Twenty-four.”

She gaped. “What? You’re the same age as Elsa.”

“Wait, really? Did you both grow up here?”

Anna cocked a brow but nodded. “Yes, we did.”

Kristoff humphed, clearly confused as he leaned onto his palm. “I never saw Elsa in any classes in high school. Did you go to academy?”

“Oh! Elsa was homeschooled. And I enrolled at the academy sophomore year.”

“Aah, that explains it. A prep-school girl, huh?” he teased.

Anna had heard that there was reputation for those that went to the private school in the town. Mostly that they were snobby rich kids. Which—well—it wasn’t _wrong_. She had dated a snobby rich boy. For far too long.

She leaned onto the table with her, resting her chin on her palms. “Got a problem with academy kids, Kristoff?”

He barked a laugh at that. “I graduated five years ago. _That_ is not something I worry over anymore.”

Anna hummed teasingly. “Sounds like you’re still a little bitter,” she chimed, touching her fingers together.

“Because your rich parents could send you to the uppity school? Nah.”

He didn’t know. She knew he didn’t know. But it didn’t stop the words from panging in her chest just a little. “My parents actually passed away. That’s—uh—that’s _why_ I ended up enrolled in school in the first place.”

The panic that set in his eyes made her feel worse for telling him. “Oh, God. Anna—I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean—I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot so if I ever just—I’ll shut up.”

His hands were clenched on the table, knuckles turning white as he gazed down at his lap. He was so mortified, and it was written all over his face. Daring, she reached out and placed her frail fingers over the back of his palm. She smiled when he glanced up at her.

“It’s okay. It’s—It’s one of the curveballs you talked about, right?”

He released a breath, shaking his head. “God, Anna. What have you _been_ through?”

A sour laugh left her lips at that. “More than I could _begin_ to describe.”

Kristoff shot a glance at where her tiny fingers were touching his. She almost pulled away when he placed his other hand over hers, trapping her hand there. “Anytime you need to talk, I’m all ears. I know what difference it can make to have someone to listen.”

Anna felt her cheeks heat. “I-I… Wow. Th-Thank you. That’s so nice of you. You’re—wow. You’re _really_ nice.”

Shaking his head, he shied away from her. Anna almost frowned at the loss of skin contact but tried not to react. “I’m not,” he chuckled. “I used to be kind of a jerk. I always—I dunno. I used to really hate being around people.”

“Sounds like you have some stuff to talk about too.”

He snorted. “Maybe, but we’ll save that for another day.”

“We will?”

“I-I mean—” he cleared his throat, suddenly finding the creamer on the table much more interesting than her face. “I-If you _want_ to, of course. We could t-talk again. H-Hang out again?”

Anna smiled at that. “Sure, I’d like that.”

She watched as he swallowed thickly. “Could I have your number…?”

Nodding quickly, she pulled her phone from her pocket as he did the same. Exchanging phones, they put one another’s numbers in the devices. She noticed that he had actual pictures of people in his phone. People still did that…? She looked up nervously from his phone. “U-Um… could the picture part wait?”

His brows pinched slightly. “Uh, sure. Is something wrong?”

“Well, I hate to state the obvious, but I’m bald.”

“Oh, really? I thought you just really liked hats.”

_“Kristoff.”_

He barked a laugh as he plucked his phone from her fingers. “Yes, the picture can wait until you have hair, if that makes you feel better.”

Anna smirked as he slid her phone back to her across the table. “Thank you.”

He stood from his seat. “I… I really enjoyed talking to you, Anna. Unfortunately,” he checked the time on his phone, looking at her with an apologetic frown. “I’ve been here for over six hours, and my dog _will_ tear my house apart if I stay too much longer.”

God… he looked even _taller_ when she was sitting. Anna stood to join him in an instant but regretted the action immediately when the world spun around her. She blinked, swaying a bit but trying to play off the reaction. She must’ve not hidden her distress well since Kristoff grabbed her upper arm to steady her. If she hadn’t been so woozy, she may have blushed or taken notice of how his hand swallowed her bicep as if she were a toothpick. That was for another day, another time.

“Are you okay?” he asked, tilting to see her face.

Squeezing her eyes, she silently willed the dizzy spell to stop. She tried to wave him off, tried to pretend nothing was wrong. This happened sometimes. It wasn’t something new. But in front of someone else…? In front of someone she really thought she may have a chance with? Out in public? That was new. And she hated it.

Anna groaned, grabbing her head.

“Anna, hey, when was your last treatment?”

“Today…” she managed to answer. “Few hours ago.”

His jaw dropped. “And you came _here?_ You didn’t go home?”

Anna couldn’t tell him the truth. Couldn’t dare to admit that she’d come to see _him._ Swallowing, she grimaced with a shrug. “Uh, Elsa wanted her coffee.”

Kristoff gave her a look before shaking his head and cracking a small smile. “Right… Why don’t you sit back down?”

“No, no. I’m fine. You have to get ho—” Anna retched, bending at the waist as the granola she’d eaten earlier was suddenly in bits on the floor. Bile burned her throat, the taste sour in her mouth. She coughed more, vaguely hearing Kristoff call for his coworker. The world was a blur, she didn’t know how she ended up sat back in the chair, bent over a small, plastic garbage can.

Was the feeling of his palm running along her arm real? She couldn’t be sure. Her body trembled as she emptied whatever contents were left in her stomach into the trash. Her throat ached, eyes watered both from the puking and the humiliation of it all. She’d be lucky if Kristoff ever spoke to her again after this.

“I’ll be right back,” he’d told her as his warmth left her.

She bobbed her head, hugging herself and running tremoring fingers over her arms. People were looking at her now. The “poor you” stare even worse than normal. This _sucked._ Anna just wanted to live _normally_ for once. Hang out with a guy that was cute… then she blew it. _Literally._ _All over his_ shoes. Her bottom lip wobbled as she held in fresh tears that threatened to fall.

When she looked up, Kristoff had a mop. Anna watched in a stunned silence as she cleaned up this mess she had created. He’d apparently wiped off his shoes since they were free of any bile. Tears slipped out, then. He noticed.

Offering her a warm smile, he shook his head. “Hey, hey. You’re okay. You’re not the first person to puke in here,” he spoke lightly. “It’s usually coffee which—smells much worse.” Kristoff scrunched his nose.

She listened. His reassuring voice making her heart swell just a little. Anna wasn’t sure if him being so nice to her helped or just made her more emotional. He was meticulous with his mopping before taking the bucket towards the back room. He returned, and after he placed a wet floor sign in the area, he squatted in front of her.

“Do you need a ride home?”

Anna scoffed at him. “Really? You’re not afraid I may puke in your car?”

He shrugged. “So what?”

“You… You are something else.”

She agreed to the ride, though.

o~o~o~o

Kristoff’s jaw dropped when they pulled up to the mansion in his pick-up. “Holy _shit_ , Anna. This is where you live?”

With a little laugh, she shrugged. “Yeah?”

Elsa was out the door. “Anna!” her sister enveloped her in her arms before she was barely out of the truck. “God, you _scared_ me! I thought you had collapsed in the street! Where—” It was then her sister looked past her and saw that it _wasn’t_ a kind stranger that gave Anna a ride home like she’d insinuated via text.

Anna held up the latte. “I got you your latte!” she practically shouted.

Her sister squinted at her, taking the coffee. “This is cold,” she muttered with a frown. 

“It’s _fine._ ”

Kristoff was walking around the truck to join them, letting out an impressed whistle. “Wow.” He turned to the girls, offering the elder sister a smile. “Nice to see you again, Elsa.”

Elsa smiled politely with a nod. “Likewise, Kristoff. Thank you for bringing Anna home. I’m sorry if she _caused you any trouble_ ,” her voice was stern in the last bit of the sentence, glowering at Anna.

He waved, shaking his head. “No, no!”

“He’s lying. I puked in the coffee shop.”

Elsa gaped. “ _Anna_. You know better than to exert yourself after chemo.”

“I know, I _know_ ,” Anna sighed as her sister fretted over her.

“U-Um,” Kristoff started, gaining the attention of both sisters. “I really have to go,” he awkwardly gestured to his truck with his thumbs. “My dog… I don’t even want to know what he’s done to my house.”

Anna stepped towards him. “I’ll pay for anything he’s destroyed. Promise.”

Shaking his head, he looked at her in almost disbelief. “That’s totally unnecessary. I enjoyed getting to talk to you today. If anything, it’s my fault for keeping you so long.”

Kristoff jumped in his truck, rolling down the passenger side window. “I’ll—uh—I’ll text you?”

She bobbed her chin quickly. “Y-Yeah! T-Thanks again, Kristoff. For—For everything today.”

He smiled at that, giving a quick wave as he rolled the window up.

Anna stayed on the front steps of the mansion, watching as he backed out and drove away. Her hands gripped her chest as she felt like she could just collapse in a melted heap.

Elsa’s hand plopped on her shoulder. “You puked in the coffee shop?”

“Don’t patronize me.”

She laughed at that before taking her sister’s hand and tugging her inside.

Anna flopped on the couch, letting out a huff of air, her cheeks puffing out. “I’ll be lucky if Kristoff ever wants to talk to me after this,” she groaned, smacking her palms over her eyes.

“Well, he _did_ bring you home.”

“He wasn’t going to leave a girl with cancer who just _puked on his shoes_ out to dry in the coffee shop. It doesn’t mean he still wants to talk to me, Elsa. I totally messed this up.”

Elsa hummed, tapping a comforting hand on Anna’s thigh. “I think you’re overreacting just a little.”

“Elsa, this is literally the end of the world, I don’t know how else I _should_ react.”

Her sister laughed. “Uh huh.”

Anna pouted in her self-sorrows for a few minutes as Elsa affectionately rubbed her palm along her scalp. They hadn’t gotten to share moments like this as they grew up. It was nice to have it now. Elsa never got to help her little sister through boy troubles, even though it wasn’t the elder sister’s area of expertise. Hans was aggressive. Just suddenly in her life, then suddenly out. Elsa couldn’t stand him, had told Anna as much, but the younger sister wanted someone to love her. And that was that.

She felt like a silly teenager after the whole incident. It was like one of those humiliating moments in teen drama movies. Anna suddenly understood the overwhelming dread one felt when put in such a situation.

When her phone pinged, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

**_Kristoff:_ ** _would you like to grab lunch with me sometime?_

She sat up so fast she nearly threw her equilibrium off again. “Elsa!”

Elsa took the phone, grinning at the message before shoving the phone back into Anna’s hand. “You’re going to say ‘yes,’ right?”

Anna nodded quickly typing out the quick reply. “I don’t sound desperate, do I?”

“Anna.”

“No. You’re right. Just say yes.”

Anna went to bed smiling like an idiot. She tossed and turned in her bed… before burying her face in the pillow and squealing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what am i DOING TO MYSELF??


	4. three

It was a week later that the infamous “lunch with Kristoff” was to occur. Anna woke up that more with a buzz of excitement coursing through her. She couldn’t help when she hopped out of bed, more of a spring in her step than usual. Trotting down the stairs, she found Gerda when she reached the kitchen. There was a nice helping of eggs and toast on a plate waiting for her.

“Good morning, dear. I just plated those, so it’s still warm.”

Anna smiled. “Thank you, Gerda.”

She didn’t waste time digging in, careful not to eat too fast. She could easily make herself sick if she rushed. It was one of the many, _many_ side effects of her treatment.

Elsa’s footsteps were heard coming down the stairs. Anna smiled, turning to her sister with a mouth full of eggs. Elsa always looked so put together in the mornings… a vibrant contrast to Anna’s flushed face, sunken eyes, congested nose. In her defense, at least without hair… a rat’s nest on her head didn’t add to this look like it used to. So, maybe she was a heavy sleeper. It couldn’t be helped.

Her sister took a seat next to her at the island, pulling up the bar stool. Elsa got a side of bacon with her plate. Oh, how Anna’s heart ached for a fattening piece of pork like that… but it had to wait. In a few more months, Anna could scarf as much bacon down her throat as her heart desired.

“How are you feeling?” Elsa asked.

It was typical. She always asked that at the beginning of every day. Anna was grateful for it. Grateful that her sister cared for her. That they had one another’s backs through their shared health struggles.

“I feel wonderful,” she practically sang. She may have been a little _too_ cheery for that time of the morning, but she couldn’t help it. Anna was too excited to hide it.

Elsa hummed. “It wouldn’t have to do with the fact you’re meeting Kristoff this afternoon, would it?”

She felt her cheeks heat. “Of course not.”

Gerda grinned as she washed the dishes. “Oh? And who is Kristoff?”

Her sister gaped. “Anna! You haven’t told Gerda about Kristoff?”

“It didn’t come up!”

Gerda dried her hands, coming to a stand across the island. “Well, it’s up now. Tell me about him.”

Chewing her lips, Anna shied away from Gerda’s knowing stare. “He’s just—” she swung her fork around as she spoke. “He’s just some guy I met at the coffee shop with Elsa. He works there.”

Gerda hummed with a nod as she dried a dish. “Is he handsome?”

“I mean—yeah…”

Elsa was enjoying this far too much. Her sister was grinning beside her, casually sipping her coffee. She piped in. “He isn’t just some guy, Gerda, Anna puked on his shoes.”

Their maid let out a snort at that. “Oh?”

Anna pouted. “Elsa! Leave it alone! That was embarrassing enough.”

“And yet, he still gave you a ride home.”

“Because he’s a gentleman!”

“Because he _likes_ you.”

Pausing, she swiped a hand along her ear. A habit of pushing strands of auburn hair behind her ear when she had them. “Do you really think he likes me?”

Elsa and Gerda both giggled at that. Anna couldn’t help it. She knew she sounded like a childish school girl… but after being with Hans for so long… it was nice to have something new. Something to be excited about. Kristoff was so _different_ than Hans. If she had puked on Hans’ shoes? Ha! He would have had a _meltdown_. Cried like a man child…

Her sister bumped her lightly. “I think he does.”

“I’m looking forward to meeting him sometime,” Gerda teased with a wink as she turned back to the sink to grab another dish. 

Anna flushed at that. The prospect of Kristoff sticking around long enough, despite her health, to meet Gerda? To come to her home and—? Who knew really? She didn’t. She’d only started a relationship once and it didn’t turn out too well. And it was a high school relationship… full of football games, school dances, hand holding in the hallways (for show, she was sure). This—This wasn’t that. This wasn’t high school. This was real life, and a brutal one at that. Would Kristoff fit into this? She wanted him to…

Unable to talk about him further, Anna quickly chirped in and changed the topic. “So, Elsa, can we get a dog?”

“No, absolutely not.”

Anna pouted. “Why not?”

“Neither of us have time to take care of a dog! Especially—like—a puppy. One that isn’t house trained?”

“Elsa, now _is_ the time. I literally can’t work. I’m at home all of the time.”

“We’re not getting a dog, Anna.”

Groaning, she rolled her eyes with a pout. She crossed her arms, giving her sister a pitiful state. “You’re such a party pooper.”

The elder sister gave Anna a knowing look. Elsa finished her plate and pushed away from the table. “I have work to do… Let me know when you’re leaving, yeah?”

Anna gave a nod as she watched her sister saunter towards her office. She couldn’t understand how Elsa was so graceful at all times. Anna thought of herself as more of a frantic mess. Awkward, stumbly, really clumsy. There was no grace about her. She even forgot the English language sometimes when speaking—or she spoke it too quickly for others to understand.

Gerda was still looking at her with a small smirk on her lips. It was clear she knew exactly how Anna was feeling. She was thankful for Gerda’s influence in her life. Thankful she’d taken on the burden of being her guardian when life took an unexpected turn. Thankful for all the support she’d given the sisters over these years. And even after the girls had grown into adults, Gerda was still there.

Gerda hummed, wiping a mug as she glanced up. “So, you really puked on his shoes, dear?”

Anna groaned, flopping her head on the island.

o~o~o~o

After more teasing from Gerda as she finished her breakfast, Anna retreated to her room. She knew that it’d be a process to get herself dressed and ready for her date— _not_ a date. Her lunch. With Kristoff. A guy she… may have liked. Which didn’t matter if he didn’t like her back. They were grabbing lunch as friends. He could very well have a girlfriend for all she knew. He didn’t specify his intentions, but—Anna hadn’t asked either.

Was she supposed to? Did she need to ask? What if she was thinking way more into this than he was? What if he was just pursuing a new friendship? Some guys were just _nice._ Not everyone was like Hans… not that Kristoff was even comparable to her ex-fiancé.

Anna jumped in the shower. She grabbed body washes and lotions—whatever she could do to make sure she smelled wonderful. Sometimes she felt like she _smelled_ sick. Like the scent of hospital followed her everywhere. She had to stop herself from reaching for the shampoo bottle. It was still a hard habit she was trying to break.

When she was satisfied with her state of cleanliness, she retreated from the shower. She stood, wrapped in a towel, in front of her closet. Kristoff had been texting her throughout the week and told her the place he’d like to take her was a hole-in-the-wall joint. But what exactly did that mean for attire? Casual, right? But it was early spring… so something bright and colorful would do, wouldn’t it? She figured the man would learn her favorite color was pink fairly quickly. She grabbed a pink and frilly crop top—different than the tie-dye pink she’d worn when they’d first met—and a pair of high waisted jean shorts.

She tossed the clothes onto her bed, along with a pair of undies. Tugging on her robe, she trotted back into the bathroom, pleased to see that in her time rummaging through her closet that the mirror had defogged. They weren’t supposed to be meeting until a quarter past noon… but Anna knew how long it took to get ready. Her morning routine was heavy enough, but with the added pressure of a—not date—friendly outing with a boy she liked? It could take hours for her to decide. The outfit she’d picked out was cute enough… but maybe when she put it on she wouldn’t like it? What if Kristoff didn’t like it? No, wait. She couldn’t do that. She had to like how she looked—not him… Kristoff wasn’t that type of guy.

Well, since she was planning on wearing pink… maybe she should go more subtle on her face? Was that a good idea? Anna had discovered that in her time of treatments, she really enjoyed makeup. It was like art, but on her face. And it was a good distraction to others. If she caked her face then maybe the fact that she was bald with no eyebrows or eyelashes would be less noticeable. Anna had never known the wonder of falsies and eyebrow pencils until she required them to look “normal.”

Anna took to her normal routine: teeth brushing, face scrubbing, hand washing and lotioning. She looked over herself in the mirror. Her skin was littered with typical bumps and bruises from her clumsiness, but they shown through more with her skin being so pale. She couldn’t help but feel like she looked _ill_ sometimes. Freckles were more prominent than ever along her pasty flesh. It wasn’t that she hated her freckles or anything—she loved them. She was proud of them, even. But she did miss the more golden tone her skin took when she was able to spend more time in the sun. That was something she looked forward to when treatment was over. Being outside, being active, going for jogs and not feeling out of breath.

She’d never be the same as she was before. Anna was stronger as a person after her diagnosis, she knew. But insecurities did seep in on occasion. Mostly because she _felt_ so different on the outside. On the inside, she’d built up a hard shell along her squishy interior. But on the outside she was like a beacon flashing “I have cancer!” everywhere she went. It bothered her… It bothered her to look weak while she felt stronger than ever. With cancer, she _looked_ like the withered husk that she once was when she was desperate for Hans’ love and attention because she never had her parents’ attention that she deserved. After therapy, she knew that now. Knew that her parents owed her much more than they ever gave her. Anna longed to have that confidence on the outside.

Kristoff was a good man. She knew that from their interactions, from their brief texts during the week. He’d checked on her. Asked when her next appointment was. The morning after she hurled on him, he asked how she was feeling. His kindness made her swoon more than he had before. It was odd—being treated _right._ The way she should’ve been treated for so long, but she had been blind instead.

After finishing her morning routine, Anna checked the time. She still had about three hours… which meant she cold let her skin cool before she caked on makeup. So, she flopped onto the large bed with a sigh. Picking up her phone, she noticed texts from the certain blonde who was already consuming her thoughts.

****

**_Kristoff:_ ** _Hey. Still on for today right?_

 ** _Anna:_** _Yes! Definitely!_ 😊

 **_Kristoff:_ ** _Great! Want me to pick you up?_

 **_Anna:_ ** _Yeah, sure! At 12:30?_

 **_Kristoff:_ ** _12:00 would be better so we can get there_

_before the lunch rush. If that’s okay?_

**_Anna:_ ** _That’s fine!_

 **_Kristoff:_ ** _How have you been feeling today?_

God. How did she begin to answer that? She felt _great._ Mostly because she knew she was going out with him. It was going to be the highlight of her day, she knew. But she couldn’t tell him that! What if it made her seem desperate?

Whatever. She was a big girl!

So… she went for it.

**_Anna:_ ** _Pretty great, I’d say._

_Especially since I get to see you!_

**_Kristoff:_ ** _You’re too nice to me Anna lol._

_The feeling is definitely mutual tho._

Anna tried not to squeal at the thought of Kristoff being excited to see her. But… while she had him—she may as well ask.

**_Anna:_ ** _This isn’t a formal event, is it?_

 **_Kristoff:_ ** _God no. Just wear something casual._

 **_Anna:_ ** _Great! Okay!_

 **_Kristoff:_ ** _See you soon, Anna!_

It was nearing ten by that time… Maybe, she should start getting ready. She’d rather be ready early than frantically getting herself together last minute. With that, she took to her vanity. Turning on the radio, she listened to tunes softly as she primed her face and started her typical routine. She decided to draw on brows and falsies would definitely be a part of the look.

She hadn’t realized how difficult makeup was becoming. Her fingertips tingled, a numbness stinging through them as she tried to swipe the eyeshadow along her lid. Despite her frustration, she stuck through it. Anna wasn’t going to let this get in her way—well, until it _did._ The tremor in her fingers sent eyeliner smudging along her shadow.

A string of curses left her lips as she stomped to the bathroom to wipe away her eye makeup to start over. There was a tiny knock at her bedroom door, and she called out for whoever to come in from the bathroom doorway.

Elsa stepped in, searching around the room before peaking into the bathroom. “Anna? What’s going on? I heard you swear.”

Sighing, she turned to look at her sister—who immediately seemed to understand when seeing the smeared mess along her lids.

Elsa put a hand to her lips. “Oh, Anna… You want me to help?”

Anna nodded despite the stinging tears of frustration she blinked from her eyes. Elsa pulled the chair to the vanity back out and the younger sister took a seat. Even if Anna was annoyed that she was unable to do her own makeup, it was nice to have this time with Elsa. She did feel a slight twinge of guilt that her older sister was doing this instead of working. She was sure Elsa was missing a video conference for this, but she appreciated it, nonetheless.

They chatted idly. Elsa asking what she was wearing so she knew what colors to pursue. Anna told her the look she was originally going for. Her sister nodded, redoing the eyeshadow that Anna had wiped away. She’d never want to admit it, but Elsa was much better at this than she was. The elder sister often got bored being locked up in her room, so when she had asked for makeup, their mother had gleefully obliged. Anything to keep Elsa happy. But it was fine—she’d had much more practice than Anna. Who had enjoyed looking plain until then. Until she had a reason to doll herself up.

How Elsa could do a perfect look wing, attach the false lashes, and plump them up with mascara so easily was something Anna could not understand. Anna wasn’t _bad_ at it—but Elsa was an expert, definitely.

“You’re so good at this,” Anna murmured.

Elsa hummed. “Had a lot of practice.”

“I know… I guess I’m getting practice for the same reasons now.”

Her brows quirked at that. Sighing, her sister picked up the blush. “Yeah. We’ve certainly had it different…”

“We’re going to be okay though… Right?” Anna asked with a small smile.

“Yes. Definitely.”

“Together forever?”

Elsa chuckled. “Of course,” she replied leaning up with a smirk. “Until you leave me to live happily ever after with Kristoff, that is.”

Anna felt her cheeks heat at that. “Hey! He could easily move into this mansion.”

Snorting, her sister took the brow pencil and started creating the shape. “Yeah, sure. Kristoff doesn’t seem like the ‘mansion’ type.”

“You never know,” she retorted with a shrug.

“Stay still.”

Anna squeaked. “Sorry!”

She had to admit how impressed she was that Elsa was able to mimic the light auburn of her natural brows. Her natural eyebrows had never been very dark to begin with, so the look was very organic. A rosy natural hue on her cheeks that didn’t cover her freckles was dusted along her face. Elsa brushed powered across her face, setting the look. She put on a light pink lipstick with some gloss to complete it. She added a bit of highlight to her nose and cupid’s bow before spraying her with setting spray.

Elsa spun Anna’s chair letting her look in the mirror. “Well? What do you think?”

She simply gaped when she saw her reflection. “Elsa… this is beautiful! Thank you!”

Her sister laughed, accepting the hug that Anna threw her direction. Elsa tapped her shoulder, before pushing her gently back to arms-length. “You’re always beautiful. Remember that, okay, Anna?”

“Okay,” she felt herself whisper. It was more of a gasp, if she was honest.

It felt so hard to accept that she could be beautiful like this. She wasn’t what anyone would consider desirable. Not anymore, at least. Maybe she was on the cusp of attractive when she was with Hans, but she doubted it. It was clear the man only dated her—proposed to her—because he wanted her money. He saw Anna as a meal ticket to Elsa’s buffet of cash if her health was to decline suddenly. It made her question everything. She doubted every compliment Hans ever gave her. He was a liar—a manipulator. So, what was true and what wasn’t?

Elsa seemed to notice her spiraling, squeezing her shoulders in a comforting gesture. “You _are_. You always have been.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and you _still_ are. Cancer doesn’t change that. Even if it did, your beauty on the inside holds no bounds.”

Anna felt herself tearing up, but quickly blinked away the incoming tide. She’d cry more if she messed up the gorgeous makeup her sister just painted on her face.

“Thank you, Elsa.”

Her sister smiled, pressing a light kiss to her temple. “I’ll leave you to it. If you need anymore help, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m always here for you.”

“I know,” Anna replied, tension in her shoulders suddenly melting away at her sister’s kind words.

With that, Elsa left the room. With all the grace she always had. Sometimes Anna longed to be like her sister. To be so put together and strong-willed. But it was times like these where she was reminded that it was okay to just be Anna.

Checking the time, her heart stuttered seeing that it was eleven. She only had an hour before Kristoff would be at her door. Oh, God. _Oh, God!_

Anna quickly rid herself of her robe, pulling on her panties in a flash. She debated putting on the stuffed bra but decided against it. The crop top was flowy enough that her chest wouldn’t be noticeable either way.

So, she tugged on her shorts and top, careful not to touch her face when she pulled the shirt over her head. Looking over herself in the mirror, she couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. Her beanie, maybe? Sure, she could add that. And a colorful cardigan to accompany it as well? Yes, that worked. Something still didn’t _feel_ right. Maybe this wasn’t exactly a _date_ , but she really wanted it to be one. Even if she knew that dating was probably not something she was entirely ready for. She was okay with it being a date in her mind, but not actually putting a label on it aloud.

Eyeing the wig that sat next to her dress, Anna chewed her lip. She’d always opted out of wearing it, but Elsa had gotten it for her just in case. It matched the auburn waves of her natural hair. Maybe—just _maybe_ that was the missing piece?

Maybe it’d be better with the wig? Maybe it’d bring less attention to the two of them? Kristoff could very well be uncomfortable with the attention she attracted. God knows she’d already brought attention to him in public. Wouldn’t it be nice for her to go out and look… _normal?_ Would Kristoff like normal?

Anna took off her beanie for the moment, putting on the wig and ignoring the itch along her scalp. She placed the beanie back over the wig before looking over herself in the mirror. Her chest tightened at the sight. This was—weird. She didn’t look sick. Didn’t look like her hands should be tingling, didn’t look like her bruised arms were from constant IV pricks—didn’t look like her _truth._ It felt like a lie. She longed to look how confident she felt, but this felt wrong. In so many ways. But maybe… Kristoff would like this?

There was a light rap at her door. Anna assumed Elsa was returning. Or even Gerda was popping in the check on her.

She ran her hands along the wig. “Come in,” she called, not even turning to the door.

It was certainly surprising when a very _male_ voice said “woah” from her doorway.

Jumping with a start, Anna turned to Kristoff standing there. Her breath hitched at the sight of him. His eyes were wide, jaw slightly ajar as he looked at her.

She watched him swallow as he stared at her. “W-What’s with the—?” he gestured to his own hair with a hand.

Anna gripped the wig, eyes flickering away from him nervously. “O-Oh, I just—It was there and I—um.”

He smiled slightly, approaching her. She pursed her lips as he approached, a bit stunned when he was suddenly invading her personal space. Kristoff grabbed a chunk of the wig, running the strands between his fingers before giving it a rough tug. Anna gasped when the wig was off her head and in his hands.

“You don’t need it,” he murmured.

A bright flush spread along her cheeks. Was she that easy to read? Sure, she hated the wig. But Kristoff didn’t know that.

“I-I… What do you mean?”

He glanced down at the hair and back to her. “I’ve never seen you wear a wig. I don’t want you to feel like you have to wear one because you’re going out with—uh— _somewhere_ with me.”

Blinking, Anna gaped. She took the wig from him, staring down at the hair. “I just—I don’t know. I thought maybe you wouldn’t want the attention. I thought—I thought it’d be better if I looked normal.”

Kristoff reached out, hesitating for a moment before his palm timidly touched the bare skin of her scalp. His touch was gentle as he ran a hand down her head, behind her ear, and to her shoulder. “Normal is overrated. You look perfect to me.”

Anna swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

Clearing his throat, Kristoff’s hand suddenly retreated from her person. “O-Of course, you can wear it if you _want._ I’m not going to get in the way of you doing you. I just don’t want you to feel obligated because of me.”

She wouldn’t dare tell him that he _was_ the reason she was considering the wig. Of course, Kristoff had never made her feel bad about herself. Never made her feel like he wouldn’t accept her. Or be embarrassed by her…

Glancing down at the wig, she looked back up at him. Finally, she let herself smile at him. True and genuine. Oh, how she ached for this man. He was truly too good. She turned, placing the wig back on its head. Kristoff was ready and waiting with her beanie when she spun back around to him. Anna couldn’t help but giggle as he placed the pink beanie back on her head.

“Thank you, Kristoff.”

His cheeks pinked before he coughed and glanced away shyly. “Y-Yeah. No problem.”

Anna chose not to giggle at the crack in his voice. She held up a finger to him, telling him to wait a moment while she treaded over to her jewelry box. Snapping on a small pair of hoop earrings and a sun-shaped necklace she turned to him with a beam.

“Look good?”

He nodded feverishly, the blush on his cheeks spreading towards his ears. She chose not to think too much of it. The last thing she wanted was to call him out and embarrass him further. Besides, she didn’t know why he was blushing anyway. Kristoff could think she was cute without wanting to date her, right?

_Right?_

After slipping on a pair of converses, she followed Kristoff out the door. Elsa waved them off with a knowing grin. Anna chose to ignore the implications of her sister’s smirk, and instead followed Kristoff out the door like the little love-sick puppy she knew she was.

o~o~o~o

Her “not date” with Kristoff was even better than Anna had imagined it would be. It was so natural to be around him, despite her nervousness. She would still stutter on words, feel her cheeks heat occasionally. But talking to Kristoff was _fun._ He had a similar sense of humor to her, she appreciated that he was a hard worker…

Kristoff was so empathetic to her situation, but never made her feel pitied. It was odd, to say the least. She wasn’t sure what to make of him. But she knew she liked him. And that mattered most.

Anna knew there was no way she’d be able to eat most of the things on the menu. She opted for an onion soup with a side of mashed potatoes. Unsurprisingly, Kristoff ordered a steak with his own side of mashed potatoes and extra fries. He definitely seemed like the type of man to eat a hefty amount of meat and starchy foods. It amazed her, really, that she’d never met someone as broad as him. Kristoff was just—a large man in general.

And… it was time to stop _those_ thoughts right there.

As Anna sipped on her water, they fell into a small silence after the waitress left with their orders. It suddenly dawned on her that there was something they hadn’t talked about yet.

“Wait, we’ve never talked about your dog,” she blurted quickly.

Kristoff chuckled at that, taking a drink of his coke with a grin. “Yeah, we haven’t talked about Sven, have we?”

She couldn’t help but coo. “Aw, his name is Sven? What type of dog is he?”

“He’s a Bernese Mountain.”

Anna practically squealed. “Oh! So, he’s a big one!”

Nodding, he smirked. “Yes, definitely. And needy. Hates being alone all day.”

“I’ve always wanted a big dog, but Elsa would _never_ ,” she laughed. “I don’t even know with Elsa’s health if we could have a dog, but if we did then it’d have to be a small one.”

“Really? Elsa has some health problems too?”

Oh. She hadn’t mentioned that part, huh? It was a weird thought. Usually, anyone would know of Elsa’s issues first. Anna had always come second to her sister’s health. But here was Kristoff—paying attention entirely to her and learning of Elsa’s problems later.

Anna nodded. “Yes, Elsa has had chronic respiratory illnesses since we were kids. And well…” she paused, trailing off. She gazed at her lap, unsure if she should really elaborate on the situation.

But he was looking at her so expectantly. His head tilted so innocently as he sipped his soda again—eye contact never leaving her own. Kristoff wouldn’t push. She knew he wouldn’t. He was giving her an out to drop the subject if she didn’t want to continue.

“Honestly, her health overshadowed me. My parents paid a lot more attention to Elsa than they ever did me—a-and that made sense. I understand. She needed more care than I did but still I—” Anna stopped when she saw his surprised expression. She groaned, running a hand along her cheek. “I probably sound really selfish, huh? I never wanted for anything. My parents had money which meant I had any toy a child could ever beg for.”

Kristoff cut in. “You _did_ want though, didn’t you? You wanted your parents to see you.”

She fiddled her thumbs in her lap, glancing away from him. “I mean, I guess so.”

“It’s okay to feel abandoned. It… It takes a while to come to terms with it.”

Anna hummed, nodding and quickly grabbing her water to nurse on. It seemed like an out. She definitely didn’t want to start sobbing at a restaurant. She was trying to get Kristoff to _like_ her, not give him the impression that she was a crybaby.

Scratching at his cheek, Kristoff seemed a bit at war with himself. His adam’s apple bobbed, and Anna tried her best not to track the motion. She’d never been attracted to a man’s _neck_ before, and yet, there she was.

“Not to make this conversation too heavy, but I know how that feels. I’m adopted.”

She nearly choked on her water at his confession. “Oh?”

Nodding, he smiled. “Thankfully, I have an amazing family. But I couldn’t help but wonder why my birth parents didn’t want me, you know? Was it something I did? Could I have changed their minds? But… you just ruin yourself with thoughts like that.”

“I… Wow. Thank you for being honest with me.”

Kristoff laughed, waving a noncommittal hand. “It’s a not a big deal. I used to—well—I used to hide it. I was really conservative and didn’t like people. Kept to myself… I was kind of—ugh.”

“Grumpy?” she guessed.

Snorting, he agreed. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. And there’s nothing to say I’m not still _grumpy_ sometimes now. But I’ve gotten better.”

They shared a small laugh at that before the waitress returned with their food and some drink refills. Anna waited a moment for her onion soup to cool as Kristoff started munching on his fries.

“So, how have your counts been?” he asked.

Anna blinked. Was he asking what she _thought_ he was asking? How could he bring up her cancer treatment so casually? Had they discussed her blood count before?

She chose not to overthink the question and just answer him honestly. “They’re still a little higher than Dr. Mattias would like, but he’s optimistic they’ll return to normal sooner rather than later. Besides, my chemo is mostly for precaution. They took the lymph nodes from—” Anna gestured between her arm pit and where her breast used to be. “so, he’s confident nothing will spread. It’s just to kill anything extra that _could_ try to come back.”

The way Kristoff looked at her was… different. Like he knew. Like he understood. His head just bobbed as she spoke, his attention completely on her like he held onto to every word she spoke.

“It wasn’t in a high stage then?” he asked as he began cutting into his steak.

Anna shook her head. “Stage two, thankfully. It was really aggressive though, so we had to act fast.”

Kristoff hummed in agreement as he took a bite. “How long have you been on chemo?” he questioned after swallowing.

“Three months. I was diagnosed six months ago as of like two days ago.”

He acknowledged her answer as he went for another bite. Anna watched him for a moment before quickly realizing she wasn’t eating. When she took her spoon into her hands, the numbing tingles stung through her fingers. Ignoring the feeling, she scooped up the onion soup. Only some of the sensations reached her taste buds—but she mostly just felt warmth. It sucked not being able to _enjoy_ how things tasted anymore, but Dr. Mattias reassured her that all of that would return once her body was done with chemo. She was thankful the menu featured foods she could swallow without aching sharp pains hitting her tongue or cheeks.

With each spoonful, Anna would pause and let whatever flavors she could find linger along her tongue. It wasn’t much, but she could at least feel a twinge of salt and onion on her taste buds. It was better than nothing, she decided.

“How is it?” Kristoff was staring at her, brows pinched.

Was she making weird faces? Oh, God. She probably was. Anna had just been sitting there with soup in her mouth.

“It’s—um…”

“Can’t taste it?”

She sighed, nodding despite not wanting to admit it. “Yeah, I haven’t been able to taste for a while. Just—Just don’t tell Elsa, please. She doesn’t know.”

He was confused at that. “Why haven’t you told her?”

“She has her own burdens. I don’t want to bother her with mine.”

“She’s your sister. She’ll understand.”

Anna grimaced, gulping down more spoonfuls of soup. “I’m just—I’m not ready to tell her. I don’t want her to know what chemo is doing to me. I know she’ll understand, but I don’t… I don’t want her to start taking care of me. Elsa has been doctored and coddled her whole life and that the first chance she could do that to me instead she gets… overbearing.”

“Like she’s projecting?”

“Yeah,” Anna nodded quickly.

After finishing the small bowl of soup, Anna started on the mashed potatoes. Despite all these carbs, she knew this wouldn’t fill her up. The soup and mashed potatoes were small portions since they were intended to be sides.

“Haven’t told her about the ulcers either then?”

She gasped at that. “Are you—How do you _know_ that?”

Anna didn’t want to admit he was freaking her out by reading her mind.

But damn. He certainly was.

He shrugged. “I just know a lot of chemo side-effects. The way you eat tells me a lot.”

“Oh, wow. Analyzing how a girl eats is certainly a way to flatter her.”

Panic quickly took over his features. “I-I didn’t mean—”

“Kristoff, I was joking.”

Clearly flustered, he scarfed another piece of steak in his mouth before shoving his mashed potatoes towards her. Anna just stared between him and the dish before he nodded to coax her to take them.

“I figured you may need another helping. It’s not very large serving sizes on the sides.”

There was something about him she just—didn’t get. How did he make chemo so casual? Cancer so casual? How did he know so much? How did he figure her out so well? It just—wowed her. And freaked her out. She’d never been so easily read in her life. Maybe, she was telling him things she didn’t remember? She didn’t want to admit that she could forget their conversations so easily. But she did. Chemo brain was a true pain in the ass.

The twinge in her fingers finally won out. She hitched when a spasm hit her quickly, sending her fork flying to the floor. Hissing, she tried to ignore the eyes on her when she bent over to look for it. Sparing a glance at Kristoff, he noticed him holding out his spoon.

“Here, take mine.”

Anna took the spoon from his hand, shocked from his instant reaction. He left his seat, bending down to retrieve her fallen fork. He set it to the side of the table when he returned.

“You know, physical therapy can help that,” he told her.

Blinking, her heart fluttered in her chest. This couldn’t be real. _He_ couldn’t be real. There was no way that he just—didn’t care? He was so attentive. Knew much more about this than she did.

“Have you, like, researched cancer or something?” Anna blurted.

Kristoff appeared taken aback by the question. “Oh, God. I’m sorry. Am I coming across like a know-it-all? I have a bad habit of just trying to fix things all the time. If I’m making you uncomfortable, Anna, just tell me. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

“Are you—I’m not just some charity case to you, am I?”

“What? No, of course not.”

It didn’t make sense. He knew so much. It almost scared her. It made her feel like there was nothing she could keep hidden. Why was he doing this? Suggesting all these things? Making her feel this way? It was—she didn’t know.

“Then—Is this a date?” _Do you like me?_ Was left unspoken on her tongue.

His eyes went wide with that. Scratching his cheek, he shied away as his cheeks flushed. “It’s—I didn’t mean to come on so strong, I’m sorry. This is just—I know a lot about it, like I said. I didn’t mean to make you feel like—like this was a pity date or something. It’s not. I—When I first saw you at the coffee shop I thought you were the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

Her mind wanted to shout that he was lying. But not everyone was Hans. She knew that. So, why was she allowing herself to jump from conclusion to conclusion? So, Kristoff knew a lot about chemo treatment, knew side-effects and was concerned for her. That makes him wonderful, doesn’t it? Why did she feel so invaded? God, she was going to ruin this before it even began if she put her walls up. Staying open minded was her best option. She had to trust him. Knew she could. He hadn’t given her a reason not to.

All of his texts over the week had been kind and caring. It was the same he was doing now. Looking out for her. Someone he’d just _met._ That told her all she needed to know about him, didn’t it?

“Sorry, I just… I’m so used to the pity by now. When you started asking so many questions I started getting defensive in my mind and… I think you’re pretty handsome.”

He giggled—he _giggled_ and rubbed a hand through his blonde locks. “T-Thanks. I’m sorry. I just—I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Reaching across the table, Anna smiled and placed her hand over his. “Thank you, Kristoff, really.”

His lips twitched into a smirk. “Yes, by the way. This _is_ a date.”

Anna couldn’t help the girlish giggle that bubbled from her lips.

She wanted to kick herself for getting so overwhelmed by his concerned thoughts. But… she’d never been _doted_ on before. It was new to her entirely. Kristoff asking her so many things, knowing so many things about what she was going through had her so taken aback. But now she knew, his intentions were the same as hers. This was a thing. A small thing, maybe, but a thing. And it made her giddy just thinking about falling in love again. With someone who actually cared.

Anna knew she’d have to admit that she had an ex-fiancé at some point, but after how intense the conversation had already gotten—she decided it best to save that one for another day.

They fell into a silence for a moment before Kristoff finally changed the topic from something heavy. “So, you want to see pictures of Sven?”

Anna nearly spit her potatoes out to agree as he chuckled and pulled his phone out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i straight up hate this chapter LOL. 
> 
> I'll probably be going back and making some edits, but it's 2:45 in the morning and I've been working on this stupid thing for 3 days. Pls take it. 
> 
> I was hesitant to make Sven a Bernese Mountain Dog because they have shorter life-spans but we're just gonna pretend that Sven is a super healthy one that lives past the normal life-span. Okay? Okay.


	5. four

It was a date. He said it was a  _ date. _ As much as that excited her, she didn’t want to jump into something too soon. Especially with her health. And when she explained that to Kristoff, he completely understood. Which only made her like him  _ more. _

So, they were  _ dating. _ But there wasn’t a label. Anna couldn’t bear saying she had a boyfriend during this trying time of her life. 

But, even though Kristoff wasn’t her “boyfriend” didn’t mean she didn’t start popping by the coffee shop on the regular to pay him little visits. It was always the same excuse—that Elsa wanted coffee. They both knew it was a lie, but it gave her a reason to go up to the register. If she stuck around too long, sometimes Kristoff would take the coffee. S’mores lattes weren’t his favorite, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

Anna had never used Snapchat—she’d thought it was silly to send pictures all the time—but after Kristoff asked if she had one, she downloaded the app in an instant. And, quickly, that became the way she kept him updated throughout her day. Kristoff’s snap stories were very sophisticated. They didn’t usually feature his face, but mostly the coffee shop with different work-day filters. Lots of snaps of Sven being excited when Kristoff arrived home from work. On the occasion, there would be a Sven shaming story if the dog tore something up while he was away. 

But the private snaps he sent to her privately were much goofier. And she appreciated that. Anna liked that he was so real with her. So himself. Maybe he put on a front for those who viewed his stories, but not her. 

Kristoff sent her a picture of a large spill of coffee all over the floor of the shop with a caption of “why” and that’s all. Anna couldn’t help but giggle from her seat in the hospital lounge. At least the chairs she sat in during chemo were comfortable. And with Kristoff sending her entertaining snaps, it made her day just a little better. He always had a way of cheering her up no matter how miserable she may have felt. 

She sent him a selfie of her grimacing and looking away from the camera with the caption “at least it’s not vomit this time”. Did she keep bringing it up? Yes. She was mortified about the whole situation, so making fun of it at least let Anna live down her shame. 

His response was quick. A selfie of him grinning stupidly with “i’ll clean up your vomit anytime” attached. She snorted at that. Why was he sweet and disgusting at the same time? But she appreciated it nonetheless. 

Dr. Mattias entered the room with his usual smile, preventing Anna from returning a snap. She’d have to wait and send him a response later. 

He greeted her as usual before sitting in the chair across from her. “So, Anna, how are you today?” 

“Pretty good, considering,” she replied with a smile. She couldn’t help but feel a bit giddy. It was probably a bit obvious to Dr. Mattias that she was bubblier than usual. But that was okay. Everyone was allowed a good day. Especially when on chemo. 

“That’s great,” he said, clicking his pen. “How are your symptoms?” 

Her mind flashed to her date with Kristoff. Pursing her lips, she glanced away. “Um, I was wondering about physical therapy?” 

Dr. Mattias seemed stunned at her words, his brows raising, but he answered her anyway. 

o~o~o~o

Anna sent Kristoff a snap video of her walking on the sidewalk downtown towards the coffee shop. In response she got a blurry image of his face with “oh shit” across it. She couldn’t help but giggle. He really was funny, even if he didn’t want to admit it. She could tell Kristoff was jittery and had a rough exterior… but she planned on cracking it down. 

The bell rang above her head as she entered the door. There was a new barista there she didn’t recognize. The girl had raven hair and a darker complexion… she actually looked a lot like Ryder. Maybe, they were related? 

Kristoff smirked when he saw her. “Why hello there, how can I help you today?” 

“Hello,  _ Christopher,” _ she cooed. 

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. “Oaken ordered me a new name tag, will you stop harassing me?” 

“No.” 

He snorted. “So, a s’mores latte for  _ Elsa? _ ” Kristoff smirked, a knowing glint in those honey-brown eyes. 

Anna shook her head. “Nope! I’m having a cheat day. It’s getting chillier so I can reasonably get a hot cocoa. For  _ Anna. _ ” 

“Well, well, well,” he grinned. “I finally get to write your name on a cup today.” 

Humming in response, Anna pulled out her wallet. “I guess it’s just your lucky day,” she teased with a grin before handing him her card. 

“Yeah, sure. It’s a true blessing when I get to write ‘Anna’ on a cup. As if it isn’t a common name.” 

“Bet you think about me every time another Anna comes in.” 

Kristoff’s cheeks flushed at that. “Shut up,” he pouted as he snatched a cup from the counter and headed over to the machine. 

Giggling, Anna moved to the side as the girl took the next customer. Her name tag said “Honeymaren.” Jeez, no wonder the owner couldn’t order the correct names. Did anyone here have a basic name? She was a little jealous of the uniqueness of it. Perhaps how her name was pronounced was a little different, but still. 

Kristoff returned with her cup and handed her the credit card as well. “Here’s your special cheat day drink, feisty pants. Glad you went with a caffeine free option.” 

“Well, I can’t get  _ too _ crazy.” 

He laughed.

“When do you get off?” she asked, smiling slightly. 

Shoulders slumping, he sighed. “Still got a few hours today. How about we meet up tomorrow? I have some work on the job site first, but I can see you afterwards?” 

Anna sipped at her hot cocoa with a smile. “I’d like that.” 

“I’ll text you?” 

“Yeah,” she said with a smile. 

o~o~o~o

It didn’t take long after she left the coffee shop for the snapchats to start again. It was nice that she received so much attention from him. Kristoff really knew how to make a girl feel special. 

When Anna made it home, she was utterly exhausted. She crashed on the couch, finishing off her hot cocoa with a sigh. Setting the cup on the side table, she flopped back on the cushions. 

“Hey, long day?” 

Anna sighed when she saw Elsa rounding the couch to sit on the arm with a smile. “You don’t know the half of it,” she murmured. 

Elsa smiled at that. “I see an Arendelle Roasts cup, so someone paid Kristoff a visit.” 

“I did…” 

Her sister just gave a knowing smirk before looking away. “Sooo, how was chemo today?” 

“Same as usual… Miserable.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Well, it was a  _ little _ better actually. Kristoff convinced me to get a Snapchat, and we’ve been snapping each other a lot. He sends me some really funny stuff. I dunno, it was just a nice positive during treatment today. Does that seem silly?” 

Elsa was smiling at her. “Whatever makes you happy, Anna. Just a little pick-me-up is better than nothing,” she paused, “but we both know Kristoff is a little more than that.” 

The dreamy sigh that left her lips was a bit embarrassing. She couldn’t help it though. Kristoff made her mushy inside. He really did make her happy. It was a nice change of pace. 

“He’s really great, Elsa. Why couldn’t I have found him sooner? Ugh, I wish he’d gone to academy… maybe I’d never been with Hans.” 

Her sister gave a small shrug. “Life works in funny ways. This was just the right time to meet him.” 

Humming, she nodded. “Maybe, you’re right. He did say he used to be kinda grumpy.” 

Anna heard a faint laugh before slowly nodding off to sleep. 

o~o~o~o

Kristoff had asked her to meet him in the park the following day. Anna wore appropriate fall clothing. She was so excited that it was finally cooling down. The heat was so exhausting, especially while she was on chemo. The treatments made her feel so weak and heat did not mix well with her symptoms. It sucked. A lot. 

Fall would be a calmer time. She hadn’t yet experienced chemo with the cold… she wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. But her light jacket over her purple dress and dark leggings was comfortable and worked well with the temperature. She was a little disappointed she wouldn’t be able to participate in the pumpkin spice craze as it began due to her ban on caffeine. But it would just make it all the worthwhile for next fall. 

Anna sat on a swing that overlooked the pond. Ducks waddled by, making her giggle at their quacking. There were a few girls sitting on a picnic blanket nearby… but Anna chose to ignore their frequent glances in her direction. It wasn’t exactly a poor you stare, so Anna wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. So, she stared at her phone and ignored them the best she could. 

Only when Kristoff told her that he’d arrived did she look up from her spot. She waved at him when she saw him crossing the browning grass. He wore a clean green flannel, but the skin beneath glistened. His hairline was damp as well. Clearly, he’d gotten a bit sweaty while working on the site. It was strange… the sudden spike in her libido at seeing him like this despite her sex drive practically being nonexistant since her first few months of chemo. Sure, she’d had thoughts about Kristoff before, but not like this. She hadn’t felt desire for someone in so long. And Kristoff definitely triggered such a reaction from her. 

But how was she to help it? His shaggy blonde hair, tanned skin in sight where his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, rugged torn jeans, and work boots… it suited him. And Anna couldn’t get enough of it. As much as she loved Kristoff in a cream colored apron and a button up, this just did many different things to her. 

Kristoff returned her gesture, waving a large palm in her direction as he sped up to reach her. There was a grin etched along his lips as he approached. When he came to sit with her on the swing, it seemed entirely natural for him to place an arm on the back of the bench behind her as Anna snuggled into his side. 

“Hey, how was work today?” she asked, smiling up at him. 

Giving a lopsided shrug, he hummed. “Nothing too exciting. Building, measuring, hammering--the usual,” he glanced down at her. “How was yours?” 

“Laid around, puked some, drank a smoothie because I can’t chew--the usual,” she laughed bitterly. 

“It’ll get better, you know.” 

Sighing, she nodded and leaned her head against his chest. “I know.” 

“Did you talk to your doctor about your symptoms?” 

Anna sighed. “Yes, we decided on some physical therapy options to help blood flow to my fingers. I just--God, Kristoff, I can’t wait until this is over. I mean, I know it’ll never be  _ over _ over. Dr. Mattias already told me I’ll have to go back for regular number checks the rest of my life once in remission. But there can’t help but be that part of me that wonders if there’s more they don’t know about. If I’ll never actually be in remission and--oh, jeez. I’m sorry, Kristoff, I’m totally being negative and rambling.” 

Kristoff’s palm patted her upper arm lightly. His eyes seemed so sad when he regarded her. “Hey, hey, it’s alright. You’re free to rant as you please. Don’t stop for my sake.” 

She couldn’t help but smile. “Thank you. I don’t mean to just--talk about myself so much.”

“I like hearing you talk about yourself.” 

She snorted. “Don’t lie.” 

Cocking a brow, he smirked. “But I do. I really admire you, ya know? The way despite how everything you’re going through, you manage to keep a smile on your face.” 

Anna felt herself swoon at the compliment and hoped her reaction didn’t show too much on her face. Even though she trusted Kristoff, she had jumped into a relationship too quickly before, so she didn’t want the blonde to know how crazy she was about him. How much his compliments meant to her. Even the small ones. 

She responded by snuggling closer to his chest, pressing her body against his own. God, he was so much  _ bigger _ than her. Anna knew she was scrawny from treatments… would he still be this broad compared to her even when her body returned to a healthier weight? She glanced down between them, noticing his hand sitting on his own thigh. Without a second thought, she grabbed his palm with both of her own. Anna idly played with his fingers, really noticed the contrast with her own. His hands were so  _ healthy _ while hers… were so boney. And tiny. And weak. Her fingers ached just trying to squeeze his. 

Kristoff chuckled, turning his palm over and opening his fingers to her. Anna’s lips twitched and she gazed up at him as she intertwined her fingers with his. Humming, she relaxed into his touch as his thumb gently rubbed the back of her hand. The touch actually sent a warming sensation to the tips of her tingly fingers. 

It was nice being like this. To just enjoy one another’s company. She was sure she would find something else to talk about, but for now… this was enough. 

As she opened her mouth to speak, she looked up at him. Only to see him scowling off in another direction. His brows were pinched and a tight frown was etched along his lips. Anna followed his line of sight to see who he was glaring so harshly at. It was the two girls who had been staring at her earlier. They were giggling and whispering at their phones until they looked up and saw Kristoff’s eyes on them. The smiles on their faces quickly fell as they both glanced around uncomfortably, each looking very ashamed. Kristoff didn’t stop his squint until the two girls packed their things and quickly left. 

The entire encounter didn’t last but five minutes, but it felt like an eternity to Anna. What had they done to make Kristoff so angry?

“W-What was that all about?” 

His face relaxed as they watched him leave, eyes softening when he gazed at her. “Sorry, they were taking pictures.” 

Anna felt her cheeks flush as she glanced down at her lap. “Oh…” There was a beat of silence for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. “Well, I now know what you meant when you said you used to be grumpy. That glare could scare off anyone.” 

Snorting, he shook his head. “Sorry… People like that just piss me off. It’s not your fault that you’re going through this. You aren’t a side-show attraction.” 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” 

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s you that’s amazing.” 

She giggled at that before tapping on her knee and pursing her lips. “I… I-I need to know, Kristoff. What did you really think of me when you first saw me?” 

“That you’re beautiful. You have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen, and your freckles are adorable.” 

“That’s it? You didn’t think ‘oh, poor thing she looks sick?’” 

He shook his head. “You’ll never look like that to me, Anna.” 

Her lips twitched. “Yeah? What will I look like?” 

“A fighter.” 

Anna’s eyes went wide. Her cheeks flushed as she glanced away. “That’s just cheesy, and you know it.” 

“But it’s true,” he said with a grin. 

“You think I’m really a fighter?” 

“Yeah, like a warrior who has a battle to win. And I have no doubts you’ll see this fight to the end. Don’t you believe so?” 

Anna squeezed his palm. “As long as I have you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... this chapter is pretty short and super cheesy. But, we all need some good fluff pick me up, right? Since... shit is going down next chapter AHAHA OOP.


	6. five

Anna usually went to the coffee shop after treatments, but she decided to have a different routine that day. Surely, Kristoff wouldn’t mind if she popped in on a different day. If Anna was honest with herself, despite their constant messaging and videos…. she missed him. And she was having one of her bad days, so it’d be nice to see him. The need to see him seemed so silly since they’d just gone to the park a week prior, but Anna could never really get enough of him. She didn’t know a--whatever they had--could feel like this. She’d spent so much wasted time with Hans, but she’d never felt like this. 

Never had she felt so cared for… Even from her own family. Sure, Elsa tried her best now. And it wasn’t her fault she was kept away when they were children. But, her sister had stayed a little  _ distant _ until the diagnosis. Which was probably because of Hans, and Anna didn’t blame her for that. 

Anna was grateful that Elsa opened her door to her when she said she was leaving Hans. She was glad Gerda and her sister still wanted to be with her after she left, despite both of them warning her that Hans was bad news. They probably believed she would eventually come to her senses. And hoped she would move on. And although Anna hadn’t expected to move on so quickly after such a long term relationship, it was like a breath of fresh air. Even though… if she were honest with herself, the time with Hans hadn’t felt like a relationship in years. It had just become a regular constant in her life. Not actually anything with true meaning anymore. 

So, walking into the coffee shop and seeing that familiar smoothed back ginger hair had Anna completely disoriented. Her chest tightened as she swallowed thickly. There was a familiar crowd of frat boys at the table, including those two guys--Erik and Francis--that Hans had started to hang out with frequently right before their break-up. There were cute sorority girls attached to their arms, smiling and laughing along with them in their seats. There must’ve been some event nearby, and they’d all stopped by for coffee.

Of course, Anna rationally knew by living in the same college town that there was a chance of running into Hans. Arendelle was big but not _that_ big. But she just didn’t think it’d happen. She’d gone months without seeing him, so he’d not really been on her radar. What were the _chances_ he’d show up in the very coffee shop her new, uh, _not_ boyfriend worked at?

Kristoff saw her when she entered, and while he seemed a bit stunned to see her, he grinned fondly--completely unaware of the mental collapse she was experiencing. Anna kept glancing in Hans’ direction, hoping he wouldn’t notice her. She forced a small smile, and instead of approaching the counter, she pointed to the table that they normally occupied during her visits. Kristoff furrowed his brows, looking a bit concerned, but nodded anyway. 

She returned the gesture and headed towards the seat. Anna huddled herself in the corner, busying with her phone in an attempt to avoid drawing any attention. God, she wanted to kick herself for not wearing makeup that day… or just dressing up at all. She hadn’t felt great that day to begin with, that’s part of the reason she’d wanted so badly to see Kristoff to cheer her up. She’d just left her house in an Arendelle University sweatshirt with leggings and comfy running shoes. And one of her beanies, of course. She was full “sick girl” style… and it pissed her off that Hans could see her in such a state. Anna wanted him to know she was strong, didn’t need him, and was fighting her cancer just fine. In fact, she’d felt better than she ever had. The therapy included in her treatments worked wonders… It was group therapy, but it helped to rant about Hans in the times she needed it. 

Her eyes kept flickering around as she scrolled through her phone. Not really reading the content in front of her, she was mostly paranoid about being seen. She felt her blood boil when she recognized the blonde girl she’d caught him macking on the day of her diagnosis. There was part of her that wanted to confront him. To call him out on what a bastard he was. 

But she couldn’t. It wasn’t a battle she wanted to fight. Anna just wanted to enjoy her day, despite how utterly drained she felt. 

Kristoff’s gaze never left her. That frown was plastered on his lips. She knew he could tell something was wrong. That was just one of his many quirks: reading her like a book. Anna watched him as he called Ryder over to take the register and he stalked over to her, apron and name tag still on and everything. Quickly, he pulled up a seat next to her and looked her over.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” 

Anna simply shakes her head. The last thing she wants to do is to upset him while he’s working. She knows how fierce Kristoff’s sneer is, and she doesn’t want to get him fired for glaring down a paying customer. “It’s nothing. J-Just a lot of people in here is all.” 

The blonde scoffs at that. “You got that right. They had a fall festival event for the Greek organizations at the park,” he smirked leaning in to her. “You would not  _ believe _ how many pumpkin spice lattes I’ve had to make in the last hour.” 

She couldn’t help but giggle at that. Pushing him gently back by his shoulder, Anna smiled up at him. “When is your break?” 

“In about twenty minutes? But if you need me, I’m yours, okay?” 

Her heart fluttered at that. Nodding, she agreed. “Yeah.” 

Kristoff gave a gentle squeeze to her shoulder with a reassuring smile. Giving her one more once over, he seemed hesitant to leave her, but he stood and went back to work. 

Despite her spike in anxiety, he really had helped her calm down. At least a little. She felt safe when he was there, but now she felt exposed to the world again. So, she returned to scrolling through her phone. If only she had earbuds so she could drown out the crowd. But she was pretty sure she’d forgotten them on the counter. 

Her phone suddenly chimed, startling her but when she saw the ID was Elsa, she instantly answered. 

“Hello?” 

_ “Anna, where are you?”  _

Blinking, she was a bit stunned by her sister’s harsh tone. “I’m at Arendelle Roasts, why?” 

_ “Did you cook something?”  _

“Uh, yeah? I wanted to lighten the load on Gerda since I was at home all day and baked the chicken for dinner ahead of time.” 

_ “You left the oven on.”  _

“Oh. Oh, God, Elsa… I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean--I’m so--ugh!” Anna grimaced, smacking herself in the face. God, chemo brain was so stupid! So, not only had she left her earbuds on the counter, she’d also almost burned the house down. Fuck, could this day get any worse!?

_ “Hey, hey, hey--calm down, Anna, it’s okay. No one got hurt. Just double check from now on, okay?”  _

“Okay… I just--I’m sorry, it’s only the afternoon and this has already been a horrible day.” 

_ “What’s wrong? Aren’t you with Kristoff?”  _

Anna tapped the table, glancing her in her ex-fiance’s direction, glad to see his back was still to her. “Yeah, it’s who else is here. Uh--you-know-who.” 

_ “Hans is there!?”  _

“Yes. And he hasn’t seen me yet, and I’m just trying to keep it that way.” 

_ “Do you want me to come get you?”  _

“No. I’ll be fine.” 

After a few more brief reassurances from her sister, they exchanged “love you”s and “goodbye”. When she hung up the phone, she was grateful that she was still alone. There was a small glance from Kristoff, but she just grinned at him and he bobbed his head before returning to customers. It  _ was _ very crowded. She was lucky their table wasn’t taken when she walked in. Kristoff and Ryder were busy bees as they sped through multiple orders. Their teamwork was impeccable, really. Anna wasn’t sure  _ how _ on earth Kristoff would be able to take his break. 

She was so lost in watching the boys work that when Hans suddenly stood, it completely startled her. Gasping, she hurriedly looked down at her phone, hoping he hadn’t noticed her. He was at the counter, ordering something else it seemed. When he turned towards her, Anna felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. She glanced up fully, and Hans was  _ staring _ at her. He arched a brow, squinting harshly at her as he slowly processed who she was. It disgusted her to see Kristoff speak so politely to her ex as he handed over the drink. Hans’ expression changed to that fake pretty boy smile as he thanked him for the drink. But she saw the way his eyes changed, the way his lips quirked into a smirk as he meandered towards her seat. 

Feeling her eyes widen, she went back to piddling on her phone. She could just pretend she had no idea who he was. Maybe, he’d think she was some  _ other _ girl with cancer? The treatment center was highly regarded around the country, so there were a lot of patients in the area. Anna just lucked out with living in such a prosperous town. 

Hans pulled out the chair, sitting down in front of her with that smarmy look on his face. She ignored him. Not even sparing him a glance. 

“Well, this is the last place I expected to see you,” he said with a chuckle. 

His voice made her skin crawl. She hid her flinch pretty well, she was sure. Anna still didn’t pay him any mind and casually played a word game on her phone. Maybe her constant swiping would pester him enough to leave. He usually had a problem with the way she did  _ anything. _

Tapping the table, Hans took a sip of his drink. “You could at least acknowledge me, Anna. You’re lucky I’m even speaking to you while you look like that.” 

Anna decided to muster her best Kristoff scowl as she slowly lowered her phone. She kept her gaze hard, lips in a harsh frown. “What do you  _ want _ ?” she growled with as much venom as she could muster. 

His brow twitched. “That’s rude. Is this how you treat all of the men who spare you a glance?” 

“Too bad you’re not a man, you’re just a cheating coward,” Anna said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. 

Hans laughed at her words. Which fueled her anger even more. “Such big bad words for someone who looks like she can’t even fight off a fly.” 

“Everything is about appearances for you, isn’t it!?” she spat, standing quickly. 

Anna felt her nostrils flare, her body shook as hot hatred brewed inside her. Heart pounding, her hands clenched against the table. And while Hans seemed a bit shocked at the display, he still didn’t move. He  _ would _ learn that she wasn’t that meek little girl she manipulated for far too many years despite how she looked on the outside. 

She wasn’t even sure when Kristoff got there. 

“Excuse me, is there a problem here?” he asked, voice cool and professional despite the anger Anna recognized in his eyes. 

He was glancing at Anna seeming to beg for an answer, but she just crossed her arms. Staring her ex-fiance down with as much fury as she could. 

Hans waved him off. “Oh, nothing to be concerned about. Her bark is far worse than her bite.” 

Kristoff’s lips parted at his words, brows shooting past his bangs. “Uh, do you  _ know _ her?” 

“This is Hans. My ex-fiance,” she murmured. 

The blonde gaped. “Your  _ what?” _

Hans snorted. “Yes, it’s embarrassing to even admit I was with someone like you. You know I’ve always had more of a preference for blondes? Maybe, if you had looked a little more like Elsa, I would’ve found you sexier.” 

Kristoff’s jaw snapped shut and clenched. If Hans didn’t shut up, Anna was worried her ex may get decked. Not that she would complain. But Kristoff was working, and that would definitely not look good with his boss. 

Shaking her head, Anna scoffed. “Oh, c’mon. You’re pathetic if you think you can goad me.” 

“Goad you into what? I’m not afraid of a fragile, desperate, little wallflower like you. Do you know how much it pained me to deal with you for all those years when I didn’t even get the pay out? And I already knew how I wanted to spend our money.” he smirked. 

She knew what he was doing. Trying to manipulate her into reacting. Into doing what he wanted. Forcing her into acting. Just as always, trying to be the victim. Make  _ her _ look like the aggressor to the crowd of people. 

_ He can’t hurt me anymore _ , she reminded herself. His words meant nothing. Hans Westergaard was nothing to her. 

“Look at yourself, Anna. All you ever wanted was for someone to love you and now? What man would ever desire someone like you?” 

Kristoff’s hand slammed onto the table, startling both of them, and a few customers at nearby tables. “I would,” he snarled. Anna’s breath caught in her throat. A flood of emotions began to overwhelm her. Gripping Hans by the arm, the blonde brought him to a stand. “I would appreciate it if you’d leave, sir. I’m sure my boss would not be too pleased to hear you’re harassing one of our favorite customers.” 

Hans glanced between the two of them before jerking his arm away. “I see. Well, don’t expect any more business from any of us,” he retorted with a glare.

“I can live with that.” 

As Hans began to move away, Anna’s feet were suddenly moving on their own. She hadn’t thought through her actions. She didn’t know what came over her. But there was a sick sense of satisfaction when she smacked Hans’ cup in his hand, making him pour the contents all over his clothes. He shouted, gaining more attention from the crowded shop. There was a chorus of laughter from his Greek comrades as Hans flicked coffee off his hands and looked down at his ruined shirt. 

“You bitch,” he hissed taking a step towards her. 

But Kristoff was faster, getting between the two of them. “Touch her, and you answer to me.” His voice was deep and dark. The fire in those honey-brown eyes spoke more volumes than his words ever could. 

Anna blinked innocently. “I’m sorry. I get muscle spasms sometimes. It’s a side effect from chemo,” she chimed loud enough for the witnesses to hear. 

With a glare, Hans straightened out his shirt, standing taller and stomping back over to his friends. They quickly gathered, standing and leaving the shop as some of the girls went back to buy a few sweets to go. When he was finally out of the coffee shop, Anna felt her shoulders deflate. Her wobbly legs somehow led her back to a chair as she practically collapsed into it. 

She knew the spike in blood pressure was  _ not _ good for her. But she was so proud of herself. Even though… she honestly just wanted to cry. Her eyes watered, tearing pricking the corners as she quickly wiped them away. 

Kristoff’s expression was almost unreadable. There were so many emotions etched along his face. With a sigh, he turned to her. “Are you okay?” 

Sniffling, she nodded. “Yeah.” 

He cocked a brow. “I’ll be back.” 

When he walked off, Anna felt her heart plummet to her stomach. She should’ve told Kristoff about Hans much sooner. She was kicking herself for not being honest with him. It was just something she wasn’t  _ fond _ of talking about. Just springing “hey, i was engaged!” on someone wasn’t a reasonable thing to do. Especially not in a relationship that wasn’t labeled yet. 

Anna was stunned to see Kristoff come around the corner in his regular clothes. No apron or name tag in sight. He bobbed his head towards the door. “Let’s go.” 

“Go? Go where? What about your shift?” 

“I have time I can put in. Honeymaren is already here in the back to cover for me. I’m taking you home.” 

Her eyes went wide. “Oh, God, Kristoff. I’m so sorry. I’m totally disrupting your life. I didn’t mean--” 

Taking her hands, he pulled Anna to a stand. “Hey, hey, none of that. We’ll talk on the way, okay?” 

Anna nodded. “Okay…” 

o~o~o~o

They didn’t talk on the way. The truck ride to her home was awkwardly silent. Anna couldn’t help but feel like Kristoff was upset with her. And he had every right to be. She just waltzed into the coffee shop while he was working, had a confrontation with her ex-fiance he didn’t even know about, then forced him to leave his shift early to take her home. It was completely justified if he was furious with her. 

When they reached her home, Kristoff put the truck into park. Before she could change her mind, Anna turned to him. “Do you want to come in?” 

He seemed stunned, but nodded nonetheless. 

Anna opened the door, grateful when she noted there was no one there to ask questions as to why he was here. Kristoff followed her up the stairs as she guided him to her room. He seemed just as in awe of the inside of her home as he had of the outside. Hopping on the bed, Anna patted the place across from her so they could talk face to face about this. 

She crossed her legs as Kristoff mirrored her position and looked at her. He sat silently, waiting for her to speak. It took a few moments for her to gather her courage, but Kristoff never rushed her. He just sat patiently as he always did. 

Finally, she sucked in a breath. “Hans and I met in high school. I was young and dumb and desperate for a happily ever after. People talk about how romantic it is to marry your high school sweetheart, so I convinced myself that’s what we were,” Anna gazed down at her lap, watching her thumbs fiddle in her lap. “It was all a lie. Hans was so, ugh,  _ convincing _ . I believed every word he said. I believed him when he told me I was a bad girlfriend if I didn’t do as he wanted. I’d never been in a relationship, how was I supposed to know? As you saw today… Hans was only with me because I have money. And don’t get me wrong his family is loaded, but he didn’t want to have to share with his brothers.” 

Kristoff was nodding, absorbing her words like a sponge. “So, what happened? How’d you get out?” 

“I had been miserable since we graduated. As soon as he started college, he got worse. More...manipulative than before. Loved drama. Knew how to get under my skin and pick a fight. I knew he was cheating on me, but I just kept pretending he wasn’t. It was just too much. Then… I got diagnosed. And I knew if I was going to be in the fight of my life, then I didn’t want to spend it with Hans. Plus, like hell would I let him get my money if I didn’t make it.” 

Snorting at that, he agreed. “True,” he said. She watched him purse his lips, seeming to think something over. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Anna smiled sadly. “I planned to. I just never felt like I had a reasonable opportunity. Our first date already had such heavy discussions that I didn’t want the added bonus of ‘hey, I had a fiance’ on top of it. I just never wanted to ruin the moment.” 

“I understand.” 

Sighing, she felt her shoulders deflate. “I’m sorry for all the shit I caused today. This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out.” 

Kristoff chuckled at that, nervously scratching at his neck. “It was a shock, for sure. But you have nothing to apologize for. You were so badass.” 

“Really?” she giggled, hugging herself slightly.

“Yeah. And when smacked his coffee on him? I had to try so hard not to laugh.” 

Anna busted a breathy laugh. “It felt pretty great. You know… the day I left I punched him in the face.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Yeah…” 

“God, you’re amazing.” 

They shared a small laugh, but suddenly… Anna felt all of the anger and hatred she felt for Hans bubbling to the surface. All of the horrid things he’d said to her floated in her head. Despite not caring for Hans for a long time, what he said still hurt. It hadn’t been too long ago that he was still a part of her life. When she still let him control her. And she didn’t want to give him that power over her again, but it was hurtful anyway. 

She felt herself fall silent, hugging herself tighter and looking away from him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Anna gave a bitter hiss. “I just… He basically admitted that I was nothing to him. Even said I wasn’t as pretty as Elsa and said that I’m even worse off now. It’s so disgusting. It makes me so angry that I let him touch me when he didn’t even find me attractive. That I gave him my virginity. He didn’t deserve me like that. And I deserved better.” 

Crawling towards her, Kristoff came to sit beside her. His hand rubbed comforting circles on her back. “You’re right, he never deserved you. But you made the right decision for yourself in getting out. I’m grateful you’re here now. I… I really like being with you, Anna.” 

“Me too,” she smiled up at him. “You have no idea how much you’ve helped me through all of this.” 

“I’m glad I can be here for you,” he said. His smile was so sweet and genuine. She’d never seen someone whose honesty was plastered on their face. 

Anna felt her cheeks heat a little as she leaned in closer. She noticed his eyes flick to her lips and back to her eyes. It had her heart pounding. Was he going to kiss her? Did he want to? She wanted to… 

Kristoff cupped her cheek, pulling her in slightly before closing the gap between them. The kiss was featherlight. Barely just a brush of their lips together. But it was enough to have her eyes fluttering shut, and leaning into his touch as he deepened the kiss. She sighed, letting out a small, happy hum. Kristoff chuckled in response, laughing against her lips. 

For an absolutely shitty day… Anna decided it didn’t end as badly as it began. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's parts of this chapter I like... parts of it I hate. But, I think it's good enough.


	7. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the angst train hath arrived. choo choo.

It’d been two weeks since she kissed Kristoff. Their snapchatting habits became even more frequent, Anna popped by the coffee shop more often than before, and they began calling one another often. Despite Anna’s disdain for putting a label on them, it was definitely a relationship. And it was clearly exclusive. Neither of them were dating anyone else. 

But still… there was something still nagging at her. Even though her treatments were finishing up, Anna still couldn’t find it in her to officially call Kristoff her “boyfriend.” Maybe, it just felt too soon after breaking off her engagement. Especially after the incident at the coffee shop. There were no doubts in her mind regarding her feelings for Kristoff, nor doubts in his feelings for her. However, part of her knew there was still more beneath the surface. There was something Kristoff was holding inside. 

They’d decided to take another visit to the park together. This time, Kristoff brought Sven along much to Anna’s excitement. The bouncing hound was always a welcomed member to their party. How Kristoff kept the large dog under control was a miracle to her. Knowing if she even attempted to take hold of Sven’s leash, he’d take off with her attached in a heartbeat. It didn’t help that Anna’s body was so weak anyway. 

“These flowers are beautiful,” she mused as they walked through the gardened area. 

Kristoff hummed in agreement. “Yeah, sunflowers are really pretty.” 

“They’re my favorite.” 

Chuckling, he nodded. “It suits you.” 

She gazed up at him with a smile. “Oh, really? You think I’m a sunflower kinda girl?” 

“Oh, definitely.” 

Anna giggled at that, watching in amusement as Sven caught his nose on a particular scent, tugging on the leash. Kristoff kept him in control easily. Which thoroughly impressed her. She had to push thoughts out of her mind regarding such muscles. It was not the time to try to check him out. Or imagine him shirtless. 

Nope. Nope nope nope. 

They continued their idle chatter until they reached a stone bench. Anna felt herself draining. Her energy was taking a tank from their strolling. With a sigh, she sat down for a moment. 

Kristoff paused, concern etched along his features. “You alright?” 

Waving a hand, she nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I just need a break for a moment?” 

“Sure,” he said before taking a seat next to her. 

Sven didn’t seem too thrilled with stopping, but when the blond gave the dog a look, his attitude suddenly changed. With a small whine, Sven flopped down at Kristoff’s feet. 

“He understands too,” Kristoff added with a reassuring smile. 

Anna laughed, nodding slightly. “Uh huh.” 

Scooting closer, she found herself pressed against him. Their thighs touched as Anna let her head rest against his shoulder. It was exhausting to try to act normal for Elsa. But with Kristoff she could just be tired. She could let cancer get the best of her just sometimes. When she was with Elsa, she wanted to be strong. Wanted to show her sister there was no reason to fret over her. No reason to treat her like a child or hide her away as their parents had done to her elder sister all those years ago. They meant well, Anna knew. And while they may have protected Elsa, they failed Anna in so many ways. 

Feeling tears prick her eyes, Anna quickly wiped them away before Kristoff could notice. But it was Kristoff… and he was the most observant person she’d ever met. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I was--I was just thinking about my parents.” 

“Your parents?” 

Sighing, she slumped against him. “Yeah. Just… how everything went so wrong.” 

Kristoff’s hand suddenly perched on her knee with a comforting squeeze. “What do you mean?” 

“Just… you know. How they spent so much time taking care of Elsa that they forgot about me. My parents struggled to have children, but then they had Elsa and she had all these health problems they hadn’t planned on having another kid. But I came along anyway. I was a miracle baby. I wasn’t supposed to be born even more than Elsa. And sometimes… I wished I hadn’t been.” 

She felt Kristoff stiffen beneath her. “Anna…” 

“I know, I know. I sound super ungrateful. I was raised mostly by Gerda in a huge mansion. I never wanted any toy or book or anything. They bought everything I asked for. I guess they thought that was enough to show their affection?” 

“That’s not how your parents should have shown you love, Anna,” he murmured, his lips pressing against her crown as he spoke. 

Sniffling, Anna couldn’t hold the water works in. “A-And now, Elsa tries to treat me the way they treated her. B-But sometimes I just want  _ space _ . Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to finally have a relationship with Elsa. She was basically banned from making any type of contact with me for the longest time.  _ I _ was pulled out of school for  _ her _ sake. To make sure Elsa wouldn’t come in contact with any type of contamination.” 

“You resent her…” 

Anna sat straight up. “No, no! Of course not! I  _ love _ Elsa. More than anyone! Or anything!” 

He smiled, shaking his head. “That doesn’t mean you have a little bit of ill feelings towards her because of it. Look, what you went through wasn’t yours or Elsa’s fault, but that doesn’t mean that sometimes you wished she wasn’t the way she was.” 

The guilt that washed over her was sour in her throat. It made her stomach churn that her inner most thoughts were on display. It was something she’d never admit out loud. 

“I… I always wondered why her? Sometimes… I wanted to be sick. I wanted to be the one who got their attention,” she laughed bitterly looking at her frail, pale hands. “Be careful what you wish for, right?” 

Kristoff wound his arm around her, giving her a one armed hug the best he could in their position. “Anna, listen. You deserve the world. Elsa knows that. She knows what you’ve been through, and I can guarantee that’s why you feel she’s smothering you. It’s not that she’s treating you like your parents, it’s that she’s trying to make up for it.” 

“You really think so?” 

“Of course. Elsa loves you. That’s easy for anyone to see.” 

“Thank you, Kristoff. You always know what to say.” 

o~o~o~o

Anna hadn’t started her day intending on being in Kristoff’s apartment. Especially didn’t intend on being pulled into his lap as her lips melded against his own. 

Kissing Kristoff was so new and exciting. It was nothing like any kisses she’d shared in her prior relationship. When her lips touched his, her heart soared. Breath being caught in her throat. It left her swooning, insides swirling. Ever since chemo started, her libido was practically non-existent. And the only exception to it was when she was with Kristoff. He was the only one who sent her mind flying into the gutter with sinful thoughts she  _ knew _ she shouldn’t be having. 

Her arms wound around his neck as his hands went to her waist. Their kisses were endless. Addictive. Anna couldn’t get enough of him. When they detached for air, Kristoff’s breath fanned her face. His honey-brown eyes were half-lidded as he gazed at her. She was stunned when he reached up, taking her pink beanie from her head. 

Gaping at him, she tried to catch her breath. Her brows furrowed in confusion as Kristoff sat her hat to the side. Anna found herself a bit stunned when his large palm encased her scalp. His touch was so gentle as he stroked the auburn peach fuzz that had slowly started growing back. 

With a giggle, she bumped her nose to his. “I knew you just had a thing for bald girls.” 

He snorted. “You got me.” 

They shared another laugh as Anna slowly steadied her breathing. The last thing she wanted to do was get too out of breath and overwhelmed and pass out on him right then and there. That wouldn’t be very romantic, to say the least. 

She caught his lips again. Kisses grew more and more heated with each pass of his tongue along hers. There was a heat swirling inside her. But Anna knew she couldn’t. She wasn’t ready for this…

Gingerly, she broke away. Anna gazed over him with sad eyes, guilt swirling in her irses. “I-I can’t, Kristoff, not until we’re--you know.” 

With a small tilt of his head, Kristoff gave a gentle smile. “I know. I understand.” 

“I-It’s not that I don’t want you! Because I do! I  _ really _ , really do. But right now this is hard for me. And I don’t want to over-exert myself or take this step until we’re both ready.” 

“Anna, I wasn’t expecting anything.” 

She blinked. “You weren’t?” 

“No, why? Did you think I was trying to pressure you? I didn’t mean to come across that way.” 

Anna bauked at the mere suggestion that Kristoff thought he was capable of pushing her in that way. “What? No, of course not. I just--I didn’t know what you were expecting, I guess.” 

“Nothing. I don’t expect anything from you. Making out is a-okay with me.” 

Laughing at that, she nodded and cupped his cheeks before tugging him in for another round of smooches. If he was fine with leaving things as they were then so was she. Anna had no qualms with kissing him senseless if he was on board. And he didn’t even make her feel like he was settling for less by keeping above the belt. Above the clothes, even. 

Though, Anna had to admit that she couldn’t wait to run her hands along those biceps and chest muscles some day. 

Their make-out session finally ended with Sven whined loudly and scratched at his bowl. Kristoff rolled his eyes dramatically before smirking at her. Anna returned the gesture, grinning as she took in his flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Yeah, she could get used to seeing him like that. 

When he left to take care of Sven, Anna stood and began to wander around the living room once Kristoff was out of sight. It was a lovely place he had. It was small and quaint. Nothing like what Anna was used to. Her home had so many empty rooms and halls just begging for people to need them. When she approached the mantle, she noticed an array of family photos. 

Kristoff had told her long ago that he was adopted, so when she saw the two adults with smooth dark skin holding a very young blonde boy, it wasn’t jarring at all. The sight of little Kristoff with a snaggle toothed grin made her lips twitch into a smile. There was a sense of longing when she looked at them. How happy they were… Her chest tightened at the thought that maybe she could’ve had that with her own parents if life had been different. 

There was a long photo next to it. Jeez, Kristoff had a  _ lot _ of family. They were all bunched together, three rows of people. Kristoff definitely stuck out amongst the crowd. He was still young in that photo. No older than twelve or thirteen. 

Next Anna found herself smiling at the photo of Kristoff and Sven. Sven was just a puppy, and again, Kristoff looked pretty young himself. She idly wondered why he didn’t have any recent photos on this mantle. These all seemed to be from at least five or so years prior or more. 

When she slid to the next frame, she was shocked to find it wasn’t a photo, but rather… a drawing? A drawing from someone young it seemed. There were two stick figures holding hands. One was taller and blond, she assumed that was meant to be Kristoff, and the other was smaller with black curly hair and a blue triangle dress. The stick figures wore smiles as they stood in grass and flowers. But then Anna saw the signature stribbled in child-like handwriting… 

_ “To my big brother, Kris. Love, Pepper.” _

Wait. What?

Anna felt her heart sink into her stomach. Who was Pepper?  _ Who was Pepper? _

There was one last photo right next to the framed artwork. Anna’s eyes shot right to it. There stood a teenage Kristoff holding a little dark skinned girl in a hospital gown. She was waving to the camera, a small smile on her face. There was a head wrap across her scalp… no eyebrows… tubes coming from her nose. 

...This girl had cancer. 

Chest pounding, Anna felt her fingers tremble as she traced the frame of the photo. Was this what Kristoff had been hiding from her? Is this why he had always seemed to know so much about cancer? 

Had she only gotten his attention because he knew what it was like? 

“What’re you doing?” Kristoff asked, voice lower than she’d ever heard it. 

Anna let out a gasp as she turned around to face him. Swallowing, she tried to ignore the hurt in his eyes as she glanced idly back at the photos. “Who’s… Kristoff, who’s Pepper?” 

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose as he sunk slowly down onto the couch. “My sister.” 

“I… I thought your parents couldn’t have children.” 

Kristoff shook his head. “They couldn’t for eighteen years. About three years after they adopted me, they were able to conceive. On accident.” 

Gripping her sleeves, Anna hugged herself tightly. “She got cancer?” 

“Yeah,” he said, looking away. His honey-brown eyes remained downcast, never making contact with hers. “Leukemia.” 

Anna felt her shoulders sink. “She… She didn’t make it, did she?” 

He sniffed. “No, she passed five years ago.” 

There were so many emotions swirling inside her. Pity, sadness, hurt… but mostly anger. Her anger was bubbling to the surface more than anything. 

“Why didn’t you  _ tell _ me?” 

He looked at her then. “I was going to. I-It just wasn’t the right time.” 

Huffing, she crossed her arms. “Yeah? When was the right time? I told you  _ everything _ about my family. Not once did it cross your mind to mention you had a sister?” 

Kristoff stood, tossing an arm out to the side. “Oh, jeez, I don’t know, Anna. When was the right time to tell me you had an ex-fiance, huh? May have been nice to know before he just shows up at my coffee shop ready for a fight!” 

“I had already dumped a ton of shit on you, I didn’t think it was right to add more!” she argued. 

“Yeah, well I didn’t think it was the right time to tell a person who has cancer that my sister  _ died from it! _ ” 

Anna recoiled just a bit, huffing a breath. “You  _ lied _ to me!” 

Scoffing, Kristoff looked away. “I didn’t lie. Just omitted the truth. I was going to tell you after you’d recovered.” 

“My treatment will continue for  _ months _ , Kristoff! I still have a long way to go before remission. And you thought it was okay to just keep this from me all this time!?” 

“I thought I was doing you a favor. Who wants to hear that someone dies from the very thing they’re fighting!” 

Anna stomped her foot. “Maybe, I do! Maybe, I wanted to hear about your life! You knew all of this about cancer and just led me to believe it was research when you’ve actually lived through it once. But you didn’t tell me! And it makes me question everything.” 

“Anna… C’mon…” 

There were tears in her eyes now. “Y-You told me I wasn’t a charity case. But what am I supposed to believe now? You told me that you saw me in the coffee shop and thought I was beautiful. But I only got your attention first because I had cancer. And you knew what it was like to see someone go through it and you… you didn’t tell me. You pitied me.” 

“No, Anna, I meant what I said I--” 

Holding up her hand, she shook her head. “I need to go.” 

Kristoff went to take a step, reaching for her hesitant before drawing back. “Anna, wait. Please, don’t.” 

“I just… need some time. And some space. Okay?” 

Anna didn’t look back as she went out the door. She started down the sidewalk to head towards town. Picking up her phone, she quickly rang her sister to pick her up. Elsa would know what to say… right? 

It hurt. Everything hurt. She didn’t know what to believe. There was a feeling of betrayal she  _ knew _ she wasn’t entitled to, and yet it lingered in her mind like a sour taste in her mouth. He had to understand. She  _ wanted _ him to understand. 

But Anna felt so lost. So unsure of what the next step was. Elsa had agreed to come pick her up. Told her to stay put. But Anna couldn’t listen. She just kept trudging forward. There was no going back right then. 

Not even to get her pink beanie she’d left sitting on his couch… 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry... but not really THAT sorry, ya know? 
> 
> Pepper's name is a play off the troll named Pebble. Idk if anyone got that, but I thought I'd throw it out there. 
> 
> We finally get some Kristoff POV next chapter. I know you're thrilled. Ahahahaa...


	8. seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kristoff's backstory!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Blood, Character Death, Depression Mention, Grief

Kristoff was terrified when his mother told him she was pregnant. He ran away to his room, slamming the door behind him. Curling onto his bed, hot tears trickled down his cheeks and over his nose. It wasn’t fair, he thought. It wasn’t fair that he was finally happy and it would be taken away from him. 

Bulda slowly cracked open the door, peaking in. “Kristoff?” 

He sniffled in response, not daring to look at her. 

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” she asked as she made her way to his bed. 

Scooping him into her lap, Bulda stroked his blond locks. Kristoff tried to take comfort in her touch, but it only made him feel worse. 

“You’re having a baby. That means you’re going to give me back, right?” he murmured as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. 

“ _ What? _ Honey, what on earth would give you that idea?” 

Pulling away, he tilted his head at her. What was she talking about? Shouldn’t she know exactly why? 

“B-Because you got me because you couldn’t have a baby. And now, you’re having a baby so you don’t need me anymore.”

He watched Bulda sigh, her shoulders sinking as she shook her head. “No, Kristoff,” she cupped his cheek with a smile. “You’re my baby, too. My first one. This baby will be your little brother or sister.” 

Kristoff blinked. “Really?” 

“Of course, honey,” she tugged him back into her arms. “No one could ever replace you. You’re mine. And you’ll never be able to get rid of me.” 

“I’d never want to get rid of you, Mama.” 

She chuckled at that. “Tell me that again when you’re a teenager.” 

When Pepper was born, Kristoff’s world tilted on its axis. Things were so different afterwards. Sometimes good and other times really bad. The constant squawling kept him up at night, making him cranky at times. He tried his best to put on a happy face, but it could be difficult at times. But Bulda always checked in. She always reassured him that babies were just like that and it would get better. She was right, of course. As Pepper grew older, Kristoff found himself by her side all of the time. 

Despite being ten years older than her, Kristoff was able to relate to her. Able to help her with drawing and reading. When his parents bought him a guitar, he started playing and singing to her anytime he could. It made him smile when she’d giggle and clap along. 

Pepper was full of attitude, and definitely kept her brother on his toes. When he was in charge of babysitting when she was four… somehow they both ended up soaked and covered in bubbles when she had tried to draw her own bath. Or when she shook a soda can, unknowing of the consequences. 

Then blamed Kristoff for it. 

The diagnosis came from nowhere. One minute she was a happy and healthy little girl… then she wasn’t. How had he not known? How could he not tell she was suffering all that time? Was she in pain? Had she been hiding this from him? 

Kristoff was grateful that the hospital in Arendelle had such a great cancer treatment facility. They did  _ everything _ for Pepper. Doing everything they could to give her a happy life. 

During the weeks she’d stay at the hospital, he was there every single day after school. Kristoff sat on her bed, and each day he’d read her a new chapter of her favorite books. Princess themed tales weren’t exactly Kristoff’s cup of tea, but they were Pepper’s and he’d read them all damn day if she wanted him to. 

“Hey, Kris?” 

Pausing, he glanced at her. “Yeah?” 

She gazed up at him with those wide chocolate eyes. “Do you think happily ever afters really exist?” 

Kristoff smiled with a laugh. “Sure, why not?’ 

“What about love at first sight?” 

He shrugged. “That one is a little more far-fetched, don’t ya think?” 

Pepper pouted. “Why?” 

“Uh, I dunno. It’s hard to believe that you could love someone just by looking at them, right?” 

Poking him in the cheek, she gave him a look. “You’re a party pooper, Kris.” 

“Hey, you asked me what I thought!” 

“Well, you’re dumb.” 

He scoffed, turning back to the book. “Maybe, you’re the one that’s dumb,” he muttered. 

Pepper went silent next to him. Sparing her a glance, he saw her gazing out the window with that far away look in her eyes she got sometimes. Kristoff often wondered if the chemo messed with her attention span. It already messed with her appetite, her taste, the feeling in her fingers and toes. It wouldn’t surprise him if it messed with her head too. 

“I hope you find it…” she sighed. 

“What?” 

Pepper smiled, still gazing out the window. “Happily ever after.” 

Kristoff’s heart tightened. He hated it when she got like this. There was way too much wisdom in her voice for a six-year-old. It was frightening how mature she’d gotten in the last year and a half. He assumed that fighting to live could do that to a person, no matter what age. But still, it scared him. 

Placing a hand on her bare scalp, he smiled at her when she glanced up at him. “You’ll find it before me… but any prince that wants your heart has to go through me first.” 

“Kris, you can’t beat up my boyfriend.” 

“I can and will.” 

She laughed and shook her head. “No. I won’t let you.” 

He was going to retort, but she curled into his side and looked at the book expectantly. With a sigh, he brushed off whatever else he had to say. Fine, Pepper could have the last word that day. Instead, he continued reading. Glancing at her occasionally as she dozed off. 

She got worse. Kristoff wasn’t ready for her to go downhill so quickly. She had gotten to come home for a few weeks at a time, then she’d go back to the hospital for treatments. Pepper had even gotten to start kindergarten, which they hadn’t expected would happen. So why? 

Why was she suddenly not okay? 

The sound of harsh coughing echoed through the halls, gaining his attention. Then his mother was suddenly shouting from Pepper’s bedroom. Sharing a look with his father in the living room, they both jumped to their feet. Kristoff’s feet moved on their own as he sprinted through the house. 

Pepper lay curled in Bulda’s arms, her little hands splattered with blood as she hacked into her palms. There were tears running down her little cheeks. Oh, God.  _ Oh, God. _ Dread washed over him as his father was instantly on his knees beside them. 

“Kris! Kris, grab the phone! Call the doctor,” Cliff shouted over Pepper’s horrendous coughing. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he nodded. He ran to his parent’s room and snatched the phone from the nightstand. Scrolling through the contacts, he found the number. 

“Hello? Dr. Mattias? Something’s wrong with Pepper.” 

Seeing Pepper so frail… it brought out an emotion Kristoff couldn’t describe. It wasn’t sadness. No, it was beyond that. It was deeper than grief and anguish. This wasn’t an emotion that could be described. There was a heaviness in his chest that held him. The feeling trapped him. Made it hard to breathe. 

They were left alone when his parents left the room to speak with the doctor. He’d never seen her so full of tubes… An I.V. dripped into her arm, tubes stretched from her nose… a feeding tube pumped her stomach. Her own body was betraying her. Refusing to work. Refusing to breathe. Refusing to let her eat without pain. 

Kristoff grabbed her tiny hand. It was so small compared to his own. His family teased him about how he just continued to grow like a weed. It was then when he really noticed what they were talking about. Her palm pressed against his as he rubbed his thumb along her skin. 

“I love you, P. You know that, right?” 

Her eyes remained closed, but she squeezed his hand in response. A small smile touched her lips. 

“Love you too,” she whispered, voice barely there. 

After that, he remained silent. Kristoff leaned his head against her own. There weren’t any more words necessary. Just comforting her with his touch was all he could offer. When his parents returned to the room, the grief stricken gaze of his mother spoke volumes. 

Pepper never returned home. She had good days and bad days. Sometimes she’d be up for venturing around the hospital. Kristoff picked her up, tugging the oxygen tank along with them as she chatted to him occasionally. The nurse snapped a picture of the two of them. He tried his best to smile, but Pepper simply waved. 

When she was younger, she was a camera hog. She’d jump in front of pictures with a huge, silly grin. But as her energy tanked… it was hard to see that smile at all. Kristoff tried his best to get the occasional giggle out of her as he tried to tease and joke like they did before. But… as the days went on, Pepper didn’t say much of anything anymore. 

She didn’t want to go anywhere. Instead, she’d lay in her bed all day and sleep. 

In an attempt to cheer her up, Kristoff read her fairytale books to her again. They hadn’t gotten to finish the latest installment because of what had been going on. And Kristoff would be damned if he didn’t finish that book for her. 

“‘The princess stepped into her royal duties and became queen. Her love stood by her, and the two married. And lived happily ever after. The end,’” he read. 

“The end…” she sighed. 

Kristoff glanced at her. She hadn’t moved from her laying position, eyes still closed. Her breathing was slow and even. 

“When you… meet your princess… know that I told you so.” 

A smile cracked along his lips. “Yeah?” 

“Mhmm. She’ll be pretty.” 

“You think so?” 

“Yeah…” 

Pepper didn’t say much in the following days. She was sleeping soundly when her heartbeat slowed. Bulda noticed first. The thumps on the heart monitor became more and more sparse with every passing minute. 

His mother held her head, slowly petting her head. 

“You can let go, baby, it’s okay,” she whispered against her daughter’s head. 

Kristoff couldn’t stay. He stood and left the room as the heart monitor went flat. His mother’s sobs echoing through the room as he saw Cliff cross the room from the corner of his eye. He moved outside the doorway, leaning against the white brick. Kristoff slid down the wall, tucking his knees to his chest as he hit the floor. 

She was gone. 

The funeral was a blur. It dragged on but went way too quickly all at the same time. He was numb. And silent. 

He was polite to those who shared condolences. It was nice to see his family, though the circumstances weren’t ideal. Why hadn’t they come to visit her more? Had they even cared about her at all? 

Her kindergarten class was there… along with her teacher and a few more staff members from the school. She’d hardly been there most of the school year. But Pepper was so excited for the days she’d gotten to attend. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep her happy. To keep her smiling. 

Her teacher spoke, his father said a few words as well. Kristoff couldn’t. His mother had asked, but he couldn’t do it. There was no way he could stand before all these people and mourn his sister in front of them. Frankly, it wasn’t for them. 

The time he spent with his sister was private. Not to be shared. 

He stood at the casket alone, gazing down at her small face. She just appeared to be asleep, and as much as he wanted to believe the false thoughts, he couldn’t. As much as he willed her to just wake up, she wouldn’t. 

He was an only child again. 

God, how he’d forgotten how lonely that was. 

Grieving people do strange things sometimes. He didn’t know why he felt compelled to take a sunflower from the display around her. Pressing it to his chest, he gave her one last look, accepting that this would be the last time he saw his sister in the flesh. 

“Let me know when I’ve found her, okay, P?” 

A chill went up his spine. 

Depression was different than he expected. He didn’t know it came with anger and aggression. Didn’t know it meant he’d be in fights at school. Didn’t know it meant he’d push everyone around him away, including his parents. 

They let him have his space for a while, until Bulda tried to coax him back to life. 

She gave a tiny knock at his door before cracking it open. “Hey, hun. You awake?” 

“Yeah,” he murmured, sitting at his desk. 

“Studying for the SAT?” she asked. 

“Yep.” 

Bulda crossed her arms coming to stand beside him, leaning her weight onto the desk. “How do you feel about it?” 

“Dunno.” 

Sighing, she closed her eyes. “Okay,” she smacked his notebook closed. 

Kristoff reared back. “Ma, what the hell?” 

“That’s enough, Kristoff Bjorgman, do you understand me?” 

Fist clenching, he turned away from her and crossed his arms. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“This! I’m talking about this!” Bulda gestured to him. “Do you even remember the last time you smiled?” 

Kristoff spared her a glance, but said nothing. He really didn’t want to hear this shit. 

“It’s been a year, Kristoff, don’t you think your father and I miss her too?” 

“I didn’t say you didn’t,” he muttered. 

With another sigh, she pinched the bridge of her nose. When he heard her sniff, Kristoff felt a rush of guilt flash through him. He didn’t want to hurt his mother. Or anyone else for that matter. But that didn’t mean he wanted to talk to people. He didn’t want people. 

“What is it? Why have you closed everyone out, hun? You never talk to your friends anymore. I haven’t seen you do anything but scowl for  _ months. _ ” 

She was right, of course. He didn’t talk to anyone. It felt like too much. It hurt too much. Why should he be allowed to live a normal life without her? Why did he get blessed with a future when Pepper didn’t?

“I just… I don’t know.” 

Bulda stared at him, that worried expression only making him feel worse. “I feel like you do.” 

Kristoff slumped in his chair. “Why should I just… move on? Like she was never here?” 

“Oh, Kris… Moving on with life isn’t forgetting her. Moving on isn’t wrong. In fact, don’t you think Pepper would  _ want _ that?” 

He stared down at his lap with those words. 

_ “I hope you find it… Happily ever after.”  _

Yes, that’s what she’d want. She’d want him to live happily ever after. And yet, there he was. Denying himself what he promised his sister. 

“Yeah,” tears pricked in his eyes. 

Bulda moved from the desk, wrapping him in her arms. “It’s okay to feel, baby. It’s okay to miss her. You don’t have to shut everyone out.” 

“B-But what if I have someone I love again and lose them too?” 

Kissing his temple, she murmured into his blond locks. “Isn’t it better to have loved and lost… than to not have loved at all.” 

A sob escaped him then. Reaching up, he gripped her shoulders. “Please, help. I don’t--I don’t know what to do.” 

“We’ll get you better. Together.” 

Therapy did wonders for him. Kristoff had no idea how liberating it was to get all of his emotions out of his mind and out into the open. Though, he still wasn’t  _ fond _ of making friends or talking to people… he slowly was able to communicate again. 

When Bulda and Cliff brought Sven home, Kristoff had never felt happier. The companionship of the pup was all he ever needed. And God, he was grateful. 

He’d never admit it aloud, but that dog saved his life. 

o~o~o~o

It’d been three weeks since he’d heard from Anna. There were no calls. No texts. They’d lost their snapchat streak… The guilt ate him alive. Yes, he should’ve just told her. But when Pepper had heard of another child dying of cancer, the look of horror on her face always stuck with him. God, he didn’t want to make Anna feel that way too. And in his effort to protect her, he only fucked up. 

He wanted her to forgive him so badly. When she pointed out the sunflowers at the park, Kristoff thought he knew. Thought that maybe she was the one. But fuck, he messed up. 

Despite how miserable he felt, Kristoff continued to push through. He went to the coffee shop, went to the jobsite, did what he was supposed to do. It was better to have cared--maybe even loved--for Anna than to have not had her in his life at all. 

He hated how petty he’d been when she was angry with him. Pulling that crap about how she didn’t tell him about her fiance? Of course, she didn’t. They’d only had a few dates. Weren’t “official” yet. He wasn’t entitled to her dating history. But… Anna  _ was _ entitled to his past. That he hadn’t told her about. Shit, she’d had every reason to be mad. There was an entire part of his life he’d kept from her. It wasn’t right of him. It wasn’t fair to Anna.

It wasn’t fair to Pepper. 

Damn, he was a fucking asshole. How could he mess up so badly?

As he wiped down the counter, the door chimed.  _ Really? _ They were closing in four minutes. Was the need for coffee  _ that _ urgent? Ryder had already started picking up the chairs for the day. 

“How can I…?” he glanced up, stunned to see Elsa Anderson standing before him. 

She gave a nervous smile with a half shrug. 

“E-Elsa? What’re you--wait. Uh. S’more latte? I mean, is that what you’re here for?” 

Waving a hand, Elsa brushed him off. “I might as well buy a drink since I’m here.” 

Kristoff nodded. “Y-Yeah, uh.” 

“But I need to talk to you.” 

Ryder walked over, tapping Kristoff on the shoulder. “Need some help?” 

“Uh, yeah. 12 oz S’more latte.” 

With a nod, his coworker headed to the machine. Thankfully, they hadn’t started the intense cleaning yet. 

Clearing his throat, Kristoff glanced away. “B-Before we talk, I just need to know if you hate me, so I have an idea about what type of conversation this will be.” 

She laughed, shaking her head as she handed Kristoff her card. “I don’t hate you.” 

He relaxed, putting in her total and swiping the card. “Oh, good,” he chewed his lip for a moment. “Uh, does Anna hate me?” he asked as he handed her back the credit card. 

“No,” Elsa said with another small smile. 

Kristoff’s shoulders slumped. “Thank God. I really messed up, Elsa. She has every right to--” 

Elsa held up her hand. “Hey, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. I get it. It’s just… Anna has spent her whole life being ‘protected’ by other people. She just felt betrayed that you would hide something from her.” 

Rubbing the back of his neck, he let out a guilty sigh. “She has every right to feel that way. I just--I didn’t want her to think that would be her outcome.” 

“I know. I know it’s just because you care about her, Kristoff. Anna knows that too.” 

Grinning slightly, he nodded. “Yeah, I… I really do. No one has ever made me feel the way Anna does.” 

Elsa placed a hand over his. “I want you to be with my sister, Kristoff. So, you made a mistake. Everyone does. Anna’s made plenty. I just--I had to remind her that your heart is in the right place. And she realized I was right. B-But she just… collapsed,” she said with a grimace.

“W-Wait, what?” he asked, leaning over the counter.

“She’s been emitted into the hospital. Her doctor said she just got overwhelmed, but they’re keeping her sedated and keeping her overnight.” 

Ryder, who had apparently been eavesdropping, slid the coffee to Elsa. Clapping a hand on Kristoff’s back, he looked worried. “You gotta go, dude.” 

“Woah, what? What about you?” 

“I can close up. Go see Anna.” 

Kristoff didn’t need to be told twice. The hospital wasn’t far, but he didn’t want to leave his truck behind. Elsa jumped in the passenger seat and they headed down the street. 

o~o~o~o

He followed Elsa down the all too familiar halls. Being there brought up a lot of memories… a lot of feelings Kristoff hadn’t thought about in a long time. 

When they reached Anna’s room, Dr. Mattias emerged from the door. Kristoff assumed the stunned expression on the doctor’s face was mirrored on his own. 

“Kristoff?” 

Elsa quietly excused herself into the room, walking past both men with a hesitant smile. 

“Hey, Dr. Mattias.” 

“What’re you doing here?” he asked. 

He gestured to the door. “I’m here to see Anna. She’s my… well… not really--uh.” 

Dr. Mattias chuckled, raising a hand and shaking his head. “You don’t need to explain anything to me,” he paused looking over him. “Man, you’ve really grown since I’ve seen you.” 

“Um, thanks. I think.” 

“How are your parents?” 

Kristoff bobbed his head. “They’re fine. Ma is working at the pre-school, and Pop is still working odd jobs here and there since he retired early.” 

Dr. Mattias smiled. “That’s good to hear. I’m glad they’re well. What about you?” 

With a shrug, he glanced away. “I’m alright. Could be better, I guess. But I’m working at Adrendelle Roasts to make money while I’m training at the jobsite.” 

“Oh, you’re going into construction, huh? That’s suited for you.” 

He laughed. “Yeah, Pop said so too.” 

A silence washed over them. Kristoff desperately desired to cut the small talk. He just wanted to see Anna. 

Dr. Mattias seemed to mual over something before sucking in a breath. “Kristoff, I just want you to know that I did  _ everything _ I could for your sister.” 

A sad small twitched to his lips. “I know.” 

“And there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her. If there was one soul I wish I could’ve traded my own for, it would’ve been that little girl’s.” 

Kristoff shook his head. “I know. But you’re here… and I’m glad. Because Anna needs you.” 

Dr. Mattias smiled with a nod. “Yes, of course. I won’t keep you then,” he held out a hand for him to shake. 

But Kristoff tugged the doctor in for a hug instead. Dr. Mattias was stunned, but the blond just patted him on the back. “I can’t thank you enough for what you do,” he said before pulling away. 

The doctor gave him another nod with an emotion Kristoff couldn’t quite read. Dr. Mattias gave Kristoff a tap on the shoulder before heading down the hall. 

Kristoff turned to the door, taking a deep breath before he walked in to see Anna lying on the bed. Seeing the tubes in her nose as she slept sent a familiar dread shooting up his spine. But it was okay, he assured himself. Anna was asleep intentionally. He had to remember that. 

He looked to Elsa who sat in a chair in the corner of the room. “Is it safe for you?” he asked. She had since put a mask on after entering the room. 

“Not entirely. Being exposed to an illness could send me in here myself for a couple of days.” 

Rubbing his palms, he glanced back to Anna. “You should go home. I can stay with her.” 

Elsa’s brows shot up. “Oh, no way. Kristoff, I can’t ask you to do that.” 

“I want to. I messed things up so badly… it’s the least I can do. Anna would want you to worry about your health too, you know? Anna can’t lose you too, Elsa.” 

The flaxen blonde twiddled her thumbs for a second before standing. “Okay, but I’ll be back tomorrow to get her.” 

Kristoff gave her a smile. “Alright. She’s in good hands, I promise. I--I want to make it up to her.” 

Elsa stood, giving him a small pat before walking to Anna. She stroked her head, glacning back up at him. “Are you sure?” 

“I can handle it.” 

“What about Sven?” 

“I’ll call my mom.” 

Sighing, she nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Kristoff waved as she walked out the door. Carefully, he made his way over to Anna and placed a small peck to her forehead. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’ll do better from now on.” 

He made his way to the chair and took a seat. He gazed out the window with a sigh. 

“You told me so, P. Just help me get this right…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll fix it next chapter, okay?  
> okay.


	9. eight

A small light... white walls… There was a heaviness in Anna’s limbs. As well as a dryness in her mouth, her ulcers ached and burned from the lack of moisture. There was intrusive air blowing into her nostrils. She felt sore all over. Dull pain shooting through her fingers as she attempted to bend them. 

“Anna?” 

That voice… definitely wasn’t Elsa. But instead, she realized after a moment that was definitely the sound of a certain blond. 

Blinking open her tired eyes, Anna languidly processed her surroundings. She was in the hospital. It was dark in the room aside from a small light on the wall. Searching the room, she found Kristoff sitting in a chair in the corner. He was looking up from his phone that was still illuminated in his hand. 

“K-Kristoff…?” she gasped out. Her voice was raspy, clearly she’d been out for a few hours. 

Dropping his phone in the seat, he moved over to her. “You’re awake, huh? The sedative must’ve worn off.” 

She blinked slowly, taking him in. What was he doing here? Why was  _ she _ here? Wait. Sedative? Anna felt her heart rate spike, panic washing over her as she glanced around the room. Moving to sit up, she gasped at the ache in her bones. 

“Sedative? Wha--? Kristoff, why am I? What’re you--?” 

He hushed her, shaking his head as he gently pushed her shoulders back into the bed. “I’ll go get Dr. Mattias, okay?” 

Taking a deep breath, Anna nodded. “Y-Yeah. Okay.” 

Giving her a small smile, he bobbed his head before his hand left her arm. Kristoff gave her one last once over before leaving the room. 

While he was gone, Anna tried to calm herself as she’d been taught. Slow breathes. In the nose and out the mouth. In and out. In and out. She grounded herself, taking note of her surroundings. What she could feel. What she could see and hear…

The door opened, and Dr. Mattias walked in with Kristoff in tow. The blond hung back, going back to the chair in the far corner of the room. He said nothing, but Anna could see the worried lines on his forehead. She watched as he leaned forward, placing his face in his hands. 

But her attention on him was disrupted when Dr. Mattias began to speak. 

“Hello, Anna. It’s good to see you’re up.” 

Anna smiled at him. “Thank you. Um, what exactly am I doing here?” she asked, glancing between the doctor and Kristoff. 

“Well, you collapsed, technically, yesterday afternoon since it’s about three am now. There’s nothing wrong with your numbers, so we just assume maybe you overwhelmed yourself,” he said. Dr. Mattias pulled up another chair, taking a seat beside her bed. “Have you been pushing yourself too hard lately?” 

“Uh,” she looked at Kristoff. He was staring out the window. She knew he was listening, so she didn’t want to just blame him for the situation. It wasn’t his fault. Yes, she had been a little overly emotional because of the situation regarding him. But it was her decision to try to distract herself with constant remedial tasks that she normally wouldn’t have. Anna nodded shamefully. “Y-Yes… I’ve just been stressed. I’ve been doing a little extra.” 

Dr. Mattias hummed. “I see. Well, Anna, your treatment is so close to completion that I’d recommend you really take it easy. We’re so close to the end of this journey, and I’d hate for you to get too overzealous and relapse. I don’t want to put you on bed rest, but I do want you to stay home for a while, okay? No long walks through the town for a while, alright?” 

She agreed. “Yes, sir. I understand.” 

“Alright,” he smiled and patted her on the shoulder when he stood. “Just stay hydrated. Don’t skip any meals, either. Got it?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good. We’ll release you in the morning. If you need anything, just let one of the nurses know.” 

“Thank you, Dr. Mattias.”

He gave her a nod as he opened the door. “Good night, Anna. Get some more rest. See you in the morning.” 

Anna watched her doctor take his leave. Her heart tightened almost painfully in her chest as she gazed over at Kristoff. His attention was on the city lights shining through the window, not daring to take a peek at her. She couldn’t blame him… the last time they’d seen one another hadn’t ended well. They both said some stupid things. Anna  _ knew _ Kristoff wasn’t actually angry with her, it was just his defense mechanism. Didn’t everyone have that? Especially those who had been through such a tragedy. 

Swallowing thickly, she willed the dryness in her throat to dissipate before she spoke. “Will--Will you tell me about her?” 

Kristoff’s eyes shifted, giving her a sideways glance. 

“A-About Pepper?” she elaborated. 

He turned to face her fully then, eyebrows raised above his hairline. The stunned expression on his face had her stomach churning, but she wouldn’t give up. Surely, he wouldn’t have stayed here if he hadn’t wanted to make things right between them. 

“Anna, I--I am  _ so _ sorry. I know I should’ve told you about her a long time ago. I was just so afraid to scare you.” 

Shaking her head, she smiled. “I know, Kristoff, I _know._ _I’m_ sorry for how I acted. I was just--I was so hurt that you’d kept such a big part of your life from me--” 

“And I shouldn’t have.” 

“I know, but it’s okay. You wanted to keep me hopeful. I’ve… I’ve never had someone look out for me like you do, Kristoff. Not even Elsa. Or Gerda. Or my parents. I just--I took it so personally. Like I had done something wrong. Like… I wasn’t mature enough to handle it.” 

Kristoff sat up then. “Anna, it was never that. I never,  _ ever _ meant to make you feel inadequate. Or like you were a child I was protecting. Or--Or a charity case like you thought. It was never that. You were just so…  _ positive. _ And shit, if I  _ ruined _ that, I would’ve never forgiven myself. And of course, I  _ did _ ruin it by not being honest with you.” 

“You didn’t ruin anything.” 

“What?” 

“You didn’t. I promise you. If anything you brought me back to reality. This isn’t over, and I can’t be stupid like I was,” she gazed down at her hands, clasping them together and twiddling her thumbs. “I was trying to help around the house too much. Walking from here to the coffee shop all the time was way too much on me too, but I ignored it because…” Anna felt her cheeks flush. “Well, I wanted to see you.” 

He let out a soft scoff, he shook his head. “You don’t have to walk to the coffee shop to see me.” 

“I need to get my license.” 

Kristoff snorted. “Yeah, that too. But Anna, I’ll come to you wherever and whenever you want. You don’t have to burden yourself to see me.” 

“It seemed silly to drive when the coffee shop is just down the road from here. Barely a mile.” 

“Anna. I  _ will _ be there. Wherever you need me.” 

She couldn’t help but smile at that. “Okay.” 

Kristoff stood, surprising her. His hands were at his sides, fingers nervously twitching and rubbing along his palms. Brow pinching, he glanced down at his feet. She tilted her head before beckoning him over with a hand. Tense shoulders sagged in relief as he strode over to her in two steps. 

He sat beside her in the bed, perching half himself on the mattress as his opposite foot rested on the floor. But Anna shifted instead, making room for him on the tiny bed. It really wasn’t meant to fit two people, but Anna maneuvered herself enough that she laid in Kristoff’s lap, his legs on either side of her hips as she laid against his chest. She wasn’t sure how on earth Kristoff would even fit in a hospital bed without her included. But it worked well enough, and he was able to fully sit on the bed… so she called it a win. Especially since she was so comfy against him. It amazed her, really, that any time they cuddled up together it was always a perfect fit. 

They were quiet. The silence was comforting as she felt the rise and fall of his chest against her back, his soft breaths echoed behind her. Anna looked down at his hands perched on his knees, grabbing them, she pulled them into his lap and played with his fingers. His hands were so rough, nails bitten-down, fingers calloused… he must have really worked hard. She admired that about him. 

“Pepper was diagnosed when she was four. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia… Chemo had a lot of the same effects on her body that you’ve experienced,” his fingers traced over hers before massaging over her numb digits. Kristoff leaned forward, his lips pressing to her ear. “I know it’s hard. I’m sorry you’re going through this.” 

His voice sent shivers down her spine. Glancing up, she pressed her head to his shoulder. “You make it easier… and I’m sure Pepper felt the same.” 

Kristoff chuckled at that. “Our favorite pastime was, uh, reading princess books.” 

“Oohh, princess books, hm? You seem like the princess type.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I did whatever I could to make her feel better,” he murmured. She noticed the flush on his cheeks as he looked away. 

Squeezing his fingers the best she could, Anna nuzzled her nose into his neck. “You do that for me too, you know. I can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done.” 

“I haven’t done enough.” 

She hummed. “You have, Kristoff. You’ve done more than enough. You have given me more than I ever thought could have come out of--well, a relationship.” 

Kristoff snickered. “And we aren’t even a couple,” he teased. 

“Uh huh, I’m serious. I can’t believe you wanted to see me after I puked on your shoes.” 

Shrugging, he laughed slightly. “It wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before.” 

Anna agreed sadly, glancing away. She was silent for a moment before taking in a deep breath. “When… When Pepper was diagnosed did--did your parents…?” 

“What?” 

“Did they, ya know, pay more attention to her?” 

He stiffened at that. “God, no, Anna.” With a sigh, he wound his arms around her middle, pressing her flush against him. He nuzzled into her crown, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry your parents did that to you. That’s not how family works. Anna, you’ll never be second. Not to me.” 

Tears pricked her eyes as she sniffled, sucking up her emotions the best she could. “I… Thank you.” 

Smirking, he wiped a stray tear for her cheek. “Except maybe to Sven.” 

Anna barked a laugh. “I can understand that.” How could he cheer her up so easily? With just a little comment like that? 

He pressed a kiss to her auburn locks. “I mean it, though. My parents--they always made sure that I was okay. When I told you I was kind of a jerk for a while there? It was right after Pepper died. I was angry. Thought it was unfair. She was so young. Six year olds aren’t supposed to die, you know? Especially not like that. I… Watching the pain she went through hurt more than anything I’d ever seen. And I just--I was so upset. I couldn’t handle it. I was depressed, I went to therapy… and then my parents got me Sven. So, I finally had someone to take care of again.” 

“You had every right to grieve.” 

“I know. I just couldn’t let it go for a year. I held all of my emotions in and it came out as anger at school. I lost interest… stopped trying in class. Quit the football team. Kept beating up anyone who looked at me twice.” 

Anna reached up, cupping his cheek. “I’m glad you made it through that.” 

“Me too. I’m happy I’m able to treat you right, Anna.” 

Giggling, she nodded. 

He paused, smiling slightly. “There’s something else… You know how you said sunflowers were your favorite?” 

“Yeah?” 

Sucking in a breath, he continued. “They were Pepper’s favorite too. Her casket was surrounded by them, and I saved one of them from the display. Call it a hunch or--or you may just think this is weird, but I also thought whatever girl I’d end up with would love sunflowers too.” 

Her heart tightened in her chest. Oh, wow… That felt  _ different. _ The words sent a warmth through her veins, making her heart pound. She couldn’t explain what she was feeling, but it seemed like a confirmation. That wasn’t just a coincidence, was it? Suddenly, Anna  _ knew. _ She just knew Kristoff was the person she was supposed to be with. Forever. 

Anna didn’t know how long her forever would be, but with Kristoff by her side she hoped it was for many years to come. She had Elsa back by her side. She had Gerda who had been the mother that Anna had never had there for her. Anna had always wanted a dog of her own, but Sven would do. She was grateful Kristoff had a companion when he needed one the most. And while Pepper may have not been physically there… Anna couldn’t wait to get to know her too. As well as the rest of Kristoff’s family. 

There was a bright future ahead… and Anna could finally see it. She could picture it in her mind. She could fight this. She could get past it. She  _ had _ to. 

Anna refused to let Kristoff lose another person to this horrid disease. Kristoff had been the first person in a long time to see her. To see Anna as she truly was. And that meant more to her than she could ever explain to him. As much as she tried, there would never be words that could tell him. 

Except maybe three… She loved him. 

She loved this man with every fiber of her being. The last few months spent with him had changed her life in the best way. Maybe, she wasn’t grateful for cancer, but she was grateful for what it had brought to her. Her sister… maybe even the love of her life. It got her away from her horrid ex that just wanted her for money. 

Anna knew she needed to tell Kristoff how she felt. And she would. But not yet. She needed more time. And Anna  _ knew _ she had all of the time in the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned out nothing like my original outline, so I'm not sure if it turned out as well as I originally planned. It feels a little repetitive and jumbled. I may have to go back and edit. But we'll see!


	10. nine

Leaving the hospital the next morning was a relief for Anna. Thankfully, she had Kristoff and Elsa by her side as she left through the double doors. She felt much better than she did a few days ago. And she knew she had to be careful with her health. Just because her journey here was coming to an end, didn’t mean Anna could get ahead of herself. 

As she walked, she glanced back at the building behind her. The next time she came here… it’d be her last chemo treatment. It’d be the last time she had to be hooked up to that I.V. Finally, she could be free of this horrid disease. 

Despite it all, however…. she was grateful. If not for her cancer, she may have never met Kristoff. Elsa may have never discovered Arendelle Roasts, she may have never dragged Anna out of her pouty stupor that day. She would’ve stayed with Hans… being cheated on and taken advantage of. Being used for her family’s money. 

As ironic as it seemed, cancer made Anna start  _ living. _ Lead her to love. Brought her sister back to her. Life could be much more than Anna ever realized. Maybe things really did happen for a reason. 

Reaching over, she grabbed Kristoff’s hand, leaning against his arm. The blond glanced down at her, lips twitching into a smile. 

Elsa gazed at them soft, a smile on her own lips. Anna couldn’t help but reached and grab her sister’s palm with her free hand. 

“Thank you both…” Anna murmured. “For being here.” 

Kristoff’s chuckle made him turn to her. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

Anna felt her cheeks heat. “Do you wanna go on a date?” she blurted. 

Blinking, he glanced between her and Elsa--who was laughing behind her hand--before nodding. “Uh, sure. When?” 

“This weekend?” 

He smiled. “Yeah, I can do that. Just, ya know, work. I’ll have to look at my schedule.” 

Humming, she grinned. “Great! Until then… you could come home with us?” 

“Uh…” he looked back at Elsa. “I wouldn’t want to intrude. You should probably rest, right?” 

Elsa laughed. “Oh, you’re fine. As if you’d be intruding… we have plenty of room. I’m sure Gerda wouldn’t mind having you for lunch.” 

He seemed to accept that answer as the three of them meandered through the parking lot. When they reached Elsa’s sports car, she was shocked to see Sven’s head poking out of the open window in the back seat. Anna released their hands, running over to the pooch. “Sven!” she grabbed his face, rubbing him behind the ears. 

Stunned, she glanced over at her sister. “ _ You  _ let a dog in your car?” 

“Sven is… clean enough.” 

Kristoff snorted at that. 

When they piled into the car, Kristoff sat behind her. Anna kept glancing back at him as he gave Sven affectionate pats. She hoped he hadn’t noticed, but apparently he did when his palm planted onto her crown. He ran his fingers through the short strands that were slowly growing back. 

“Your hair is a pretty color,” he murmured. 

Anna felt her cheeks flush as she clutched her seatbelt. “Th-Thanks.” 

He smiled. 

Kristoff was going to make her heart explode, wasn’t he? 

When they reached the mansion, Anna was relieved to be back home. Sure, she’d only stayed in the hospital for a little over a day… but she was still drained from the emotional turmoil she’d been through. 

Had she reacted justly? Maybe yes or maybe no. She wasn’t sold that she was in the right. But she didn’t think she was exactly  _ wrong _ either. Anna and Kristoff both made mistakes in how they handled the matter. And honestly, she shouldn’t have been snooping in the first place. Kristoff should’ve told her sooner, but it wasn’t fair of Anna to take away his chance. Discovering on her own wasn’t ideal. And yelling at him afterwards wasn’t either, of course. 

But in retrospect… she was happy she knew. There was another layer of Kristoff she now understood. She understood why he hadn’t wanted to bring her around his family yet. Why he got so happy when she liked sunflowers. Why he knew so much about chemo. Why he  _ accepted _ her as she was. 

Because he  _ knew. _ He’d been there before. He’d been through this… he watched someone he loved lose this battle. And yet, he was willing to go through it all again for her. For Anna. And she couldn’t even begin to understand why he would. And why he picked her of all people. Why he saw her and thought so highly of her appearance. Kristoff may have noticed her because she had cancer… but he also noticed more about Anna than she’d ever noticed herself. 

He genuinely made her feel beautiful. When he spoke about much he cared about her, there was no sign he was trying to deceive her. Kristoff had done so much for her already. Seeing him there for her in the hospital the night before meant so much to her. His apology meant so much to her. Anna knew she was lucky to find Kristoff. And despite their argument, despite his mistake and her own, she knew that he meant well. That he cared for her. There was nothing that he could do to make her think otherwise now. 

When they entered the living room, Sven was bouncing happily at the couch. Anna was confused, tilting her head. Then suddenly… there was another bark. A different bark. Blinking, she looked back at Kristoff and Elsa behind her who were both feigning innocence as if they had no idea what was going on. 

“What’s that?” she asked, eyeing both of them. 

Elsa shrugged. “Why don’t you go look?” 

Hesitant, Anna tiptoed over towards the couch where Sven barked happily, tail wagging. Sitting on the couch was a small, snow white pomeranian yapping gleefully back at Sven. The little fluff ball looked up at Anna, curly tail swiping at the sight of her. 

“Awww!” Anna cooed aloud before picking up the small pup. “Kristoff, did you get Sven a friend?” 

Kristoff chuckled, rubbing at his nape. “Actually… he’s yours.” 

Blinking, she flicked her gaze to Elsa. “Are you serious?” 

With a smile, her sister nodded. “Yes. He’s yours.” 

Anna squealed, bouncing up and down with the puppy in her arms. It lapped at her cheek and barked happily again. Kristoff strode over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, calm down. You shouldn’t push yourself.” 

“Olaf!” 

“What?” 

Anna beamed. “His name is Olaf.” 

Chuckling, he shook his head. “Olaf it is then.” 

Lunch went rather well. Gerda asked Kristoff the standard questions about his life in general, most of which Anna already knew. About him being adopted and having a big family. About him going to the Adrendelle public school. When Pepper was brought up, he spoke quietly, timidly--as if he were afraid to bring her up considering the recent events. But Anna did her best to engage in the conversation. It made Kristoff much more comfortable. 

Eventually, the pair of them ended up in her room. And all Anna could think about was the fact that this is where she had cried and kissed him for the first time. The thought sent her heart fluttering. 

However, when she found herself cuddled up in his lap like the night before, she was entirely satisfied. Hummsing, she sunk into his embrace as Kristoff rubbed smoothed circles on her back. 

“Hey,” she muttered, glancing up at him. 

Kristoff smiled down at her. “Hey yourself.” 

Snorting, she shook her head. “I--I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Me too,” he pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

“I’m… I’m really sorry about, just, everything. I know we’ve already been through this. But I just want you to know that I really am sorry. And I didn’t mean to--I dunno… I didn’t mean to project all of my previous issues onto you, ya know?” 

He nodded, petting her head softly. “You’re fine, Anna. I don’t blame you. I’m the one who’s sorry.” 

“You were trying to protect me. I understand why--” 

“Hey, c’mon… Let’s not just talk in circles, okay? You don’t have to keep worrying about it. We’re okay.” There was a beat of silence as he glanced away. “I’m not your parents, Anna,” her breath hitched at those words, her body stiffening against him as he squeezed her tighter. “I’m always going to want you. I…” he trailed off, glancing away. 

Anna couldn’t help it. She sat up in his arms, placing her hands flat on her chest. “You what?” 

Seeing him gulp only made her more nervous. Kristoff sucked in a breath before gazing at her. “I love you, Anna. I really do. A-And I know with what’s happened between us you may not be ready to say it back. O-Or at all. You may not feel what I feel, but you deserve to know. I… I love you.” 

Clutching his chest, she pulled him in for a kiss. Kristoff seemed a bit caught off guard but relaxed under her touch, cupping her cheek in his palm. Anna felt the wetness pouring down her cheeks and apparently Kristoff did too as he brushed her tears away with his thumbs. 

She pressed her forehead to his. “Thank you, Kristoff. For being here. F-For loving me. For everything…” 

“Of course,” his nose brushed hers. “You’ll always have me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is another short one, but the next two are gonna be super long LOL. Also, these next two chapters are the ones I've been waiting for this whole time. SOOO, I'm kinda excited to FINALLY get here. 
> 
> Chapter 8 & 9 went way off my original outline which is why they ended up so short, but I've ended up liking what I've written more than what I originally had. These last two chapters felt a lot more intimate than what I had originally planned. I kinda hated it at first, but after rereading it and now writing this chapter... I'm satisfied with my setup for the last chapters. 
> 
> And just a heads up that the M rating is in full force for next chapter. 
> 
> [tumblr](https://ashtheshortstack.tumblr.com)


	11. ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, here is the 5k words that kicked my ass for two weeks. also there's smut at the end, just so you know.

Today was the day. Anna was finally finishing her treatments. Her scans were great, blood count was where Dr. Mattias wanted it. It was official: she was in remission. While her life would never be back to normal, she wouldn’t need anymore chemotherapy. Anna would gladly take six month check-ups over being hooked up to an I.V. Over body aches and pains, over losing her hair, over battling for her life… 

Finally, she wouldn’t have to be afraid if the cancer would take her out. Hell, if the chemo would take her out. No longer would she have to have poison injected in her veins. So much relief washed over her as Dr. Mattias went over everything with her. 

Elsa was right by her side through it all. Anna was unbelievably grateful for her sister’s support. It genuinely meant the world to her. Elsa held her hand as he went through all the final consultation with her doctor. He seemed so happy for her. That this difficult journey was finally over. At least this phase of it. Anna felt on top of the world! Like she could do anything! Of course, she still had to take it easy while her body recovered. Anna still wasn’t allowed to over exert herself or be too active. 

But it was nice to say the least… that everything was finally falling in place for her. The worst was finally over. 

Anna walked out of the room, stunned to see the nurses who worked with her over the last few months lining the hallway. Gaping, she glanced back at Elsa who encouraged her to walk forward. Tears pricked her eyes as the hospital employees began cheering and clapping for her. Her hand went to her chest, emotions running through her as the dam broke. Buckets rolled down her cheeks as Anna covered her mouth with a sob. 

This only made them cheer her on even more. A few of them held posters reading “Congrats” and “We love you, Anna!” 

“Thank you all…  _ so much,” _ she cried. Her knees almost felt wobbly, her entire body numb as she exited the hallway. She turned back, giving them all a small wave as they said goodbye. 

When she reached the lobby, there stood Kristoff. With a nervous smile, he held up three sunflowers bundled together and pink balloons in his hands. Anna beamed as she ran up to him, pouncing onto him in a hug. His chuckle echoed through his chest as he wound his arms around her waist. 

Anna’s body warmed as he pressed a soft kiss to her crown. She’d been so ready for this. So ready for him. For them to allow themselves this happiness now. There was no cloud of doubt surrounding her anymore. God, she loved him. She wanted to tell him. 

She  _ had  _ to tell him. 

When they walked outside, she saw Kristoff’s truck was decorated pink. Anna gaped, turning back at him. “No way. Did you both do this?” 

“Maybe,” they both chimed. 

Anna just grinned, running up to Kristoff’s truck. She barked a laugh when the back window read “Honk! I’m cancer free!” in bright pink lettering. Glancing back at them, she pinched her brows. “Am I going with Kristoff?” 

Elsa smiled with a nod. “Yeah, you guys should go celebrate.” 

Pouting, she grabbed her sister’s hands. “But I… I want to celebrate with you, too.” 

“And we will,” her sister looked to Kristoff. 

He smiled. “Yeah, but I owe you a date, right?” 

Anna couldn’t help but giggle at that. “Hmm, you’re right,” she cooed. 

  
  


o~o~o~o

The ride to the restaurant was exuberating. Anna pulled the beanie off her head, dropping it in the cab as she leaned out the window. The cool, autumn air kissed her cheeks. She mused about the day that her hair would once again whip against her face when she did this. Soon, she hoped. Cars passing by began to honk loudly, and Anna couldn’t help but beam and wave at the passers by. 

What a refreshing feeling… Fall was truly the perfect temperature. The heat was no longer sweltering but Anna wasn’t freezing her ass off either. Dr. Mattias mentioned that it was lucky that she’d be in remission by winter. The withering cold usually didn’t treat those who had pained joints too well. So, Anna couldn’t help but feel thankful. 

“You’re going to catch bugs if you keep grinning like that,” Kristoff teased from the driver’s seat. 

With a laugh, she pulled herself back into the cab and cocked her head at him. “Wow, thank you. I appreciate you looking out for my wellbeing.” 

“Only the utmost care for you, baby,” he chided with a wink. 

Anna felt her cheeks pink as she glowered at him. Kristoff merely smirked, turning back to face the road. He was certainly growing bolder these days. Anna didn’t want to think about how Kristoff calling her “baby” sent a heat slithering down her spine. She didn’t want to move things along too fast. Besides, regaining her sex drive was a slow process. Her poor libido had suffered from the chemotherapy. Which was common, apparently. It made sense. There were times when Anna hadn’t even wanted to move from bed, let alone partake in intimate activities. And it wasn’t that she didn’t think about Kristoff in that way. Because oh, she did. (Often, if she was being honest with herself.) But she felt herself unable to physically act on said thoughts. And that was okay. Anna hadn’t needed to relieve herself like that. It would’ve been a struggle considering the numbness that tingled through her fingers. 

Anna leaned against the window and found herself looking over him. He really was quite handsome. The chiseled line of his jaw, the freckles that dusted his nose and chin, those honey-brown eyes that gazed at her ever so softly… His hands were so big. They always engulfed her own when they intertwined their fingers. Just the thought of him touching her made her swoon. She discovered how truly broad and comfortable his chest was when she laid against him at the hospital. His lips were so soft when he kissed her… the way his fingers held her scalp made her heart beat so fast. 

She was quite the lucky girl. And to think she’d almost settled for someone else. That she would’ve never felt this kind of love had she not gotten cancer. Life was truly full of mysteries. And Anna was finally learning to go along with the twist and turns. Her whole childhood had been difficult as she dealt with all the feelings of abandonment. But Anna could no longer suffer from her parents’ mistakes. This was the happiest she’d ever felt in her entire life. She couldn’t allow herself to drift back into that place. Not when she finally had Elsa. Not when she had Kristoff--who promised he’d never leave her behind. She couldn’t be more thankful for the life she had now. Anna never thought that breaking free from her misery was ever an actual option.

o~o~o~o

Anna sat at the table entirely giddy. She was so happy to be out and about with Kristoff knowing that her life was finally going to go her way. There were so many more features to take in. Anna noticed his tongue poke out between his lips as he read… how cute! His nose scrunched when he apparently read something unpleasant. Those shaggy blonde locks hung over his eyes. God, she couldn’t stop thinking about him or just looking at him. She’d already been oogling him in the car. Where had all her self control gone? 

...Then he caught her staring when he glanced up. Welp, that’s embarrassing. 

Blinking, he was looking up from his menu and pinched his brows. “What?” 

She simply couldn’t wipe the grin off her lips. With a shake of her head, she tried to brush it off. “Nothing.” 

Those honey-brown eyes searched her for a moment, as if trying to read her thoughts. Sometimes Anna wondered if he really could. It seemed like she was an open book to this man. Not that she really minded. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Mmhm!” she squeaked before lifting up her menu to hide her face from his view. 

Anna heard him snort from across the table, but she was thankful when their waitress returned to take their orders. It was a difficult decision considering her diet limitations were lightening, finally. She settled on some tea for the evening while Kristoff ordered a soda. Their waitress was kind, and Anna was thankful for that. Sometimes her brain and mouth didn’t cooperate and she stumbled over her words. Or even forgot certain words at times. So, when she ordered her broccoli and chicken alfredo, the girl nodded as if Anna had made perfect sense even though that wasn’t necessarily the case. 

When the waitress took off with their orders in tow, Anna let out a sigh of relief. Kristoff chuckled at her with a smile. 

“You did pretty well.” 

Anna snorted, giving him a flat look. “I don’t know why ordering food always gives me the jitters, but it happens every time.” 

“You don’t get jitters when you order from me.” 

She scoffed. “That’s cause you’re cute.” 

His brows shot up. 

“Shut up.” 

“I didn’t say anything,” he chimed with a shrug and a shit-eating grin. 

Rolling her eyes, Anna crossed her arms and looked away. 

Kristoff leaned onto the table. “You’re cute too, if that helps.” 

She bit back a smile. “Flattery will get you nowhere.” 

“That is a false statement.” 

“No, it’s not. You can’t woo me with compliments.” 

“I think already did.” 

Anna groaned while he snickered further. Thankfully, their waitress arrived with their drinks. Sipping idly on her tea, Anna looked at Kristoff as he scrolled through his phone for a moment. If she wasn’t careful, he’d catch her gazing fondly at him again. Not that she could help it. Ever since they’d made up, and she truly understood him, Anna felt her feelings for him swell inside her even more than did before. What she felt for him was so strong--now, telling him that was a different situation. 

She knew she needed to. Anna wanted their relationship to finally be “officially official.” She desired that “boyfriend” label more than anything. She just… didn’t know how to ask. She was worried that maybe he wasn’t ready for that. Maybe their fight had caused too much of a riff and it was too soon. 

“Hey.” 

Her head shot up at the sound of his voice. 

“I can hear you thinking from over here. What’s wrong?” 

Quickly, she shook her head and denied his question. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just thinking about all the new changes again.” 

Kristoff nodded but smiled. “It's a good change,” he reached across the table, placing his hand over hers. “Right?” 

Anna felt her shoulders relax. “Yeah,” she returned his smile. “it is.” 

After finally getting out of her own head, she and Kristoff began their typical small talk. She asked about his construction job since his on the job training was almost complete. Anna couldn’t help but feel so, so proud of him. He had been working so hard doing two jobs and also looking out for her. How he had handled it all, she’d never know. 

Plates were then brought out, and Anna nearly drooled at the sight of the pasta before her. She did realize with a bit of horror that the chicken was cut into strips rather than pieces. Meaning, she’d have to cut it herself. Despite her time in physical therapy, meticulous tasks were still difficult. As their waitress left, Anna thanked her before cringing and picking up the knife. 

However, before she could slice the first piece, Kristoff was sliding her plate toward him. Anna gaped, staring at him. But he just smiled and motioned for her to hand him the knife. She watched in stunned relief as Kristoff sliced up the thick strips of chicken into bite sized pieces, before he continued on and chopped up the broccoli as well. The sight had Anna’s heart swelling in her chest. The feelings she had for him swirled, bubbling to the surface. 

“I love you!” she blurted. 

Kristoff’s head shot up, pausing in his motions with a stunned expression. A rosey hue rose on his face. Eyes blowing wide, she covered her mouth with her palms. Her own cheeks heated as she flushed. Fellow patrons stole glances their way at the sound of her love confession. Well, Anna definitely had a talent for humiliating herself. And drawing attention to herself in public...

But instead of making a big deal, the blonde just smiled with a small chuckle. “I love you, too.” 

Swallowing, she just nodded with a hesitant laugh and brought her hands to her lap. Tears swelled in her eyes as he slid the plate back in her direction. “Thank you.” 

“Of course, baby,” he chimed before leaning onto his palm. He gave her a gooey, love-sick stare as he looked over her. It made her feel entirely soft inside. 

The rest of the meal, Kristoff kept glancing up at her with a stupid grin. But, she couldn’t blame him. She felt the same. They shared smiles as they ate. It was so sweet and domestic… more than Anna had ever felt before. And she’d literally lived with her fiance for a long time, however, Kristoff made her feel at home no matter where they were. 

“Now that your chemo treatments are done, what do you want to do?” 

Anna hummed at his question as she chewed. “Um, probably get a job.” 

He cocked a brow. “Why do that? You don’t need one. You’re totally loaded.” 

With a shrug, she pursed her lips. “I just want to. I never had the chance… Hans wanted to ‘take care of me’ which, apparently, was code for stealing all your money. So, I never worked when I lived with him because we were going to East so Elsa just paid for our apartment while we first started attending classes,” Anna snorted. “You know, Hans and I had just moved into our own house like two months before shit hit the fan? Elsa bought all the furniture--which she obviously retrieved after I moved out--and Hans’ father bought the house… I guess that’s why I want to be independent for once in my life. Besides I’d like to finally attend Arendelle University and finish my English major.” 

Kristoff nodded in understanding. “I’m happy for you. I’m glad you’re taking things into your own hands.” 

Anna smiled at him. “it’s all thanks to you. You inspire me.” 

“Anna…” 

“I’m serious! With everything you’ve been through and how much you do… I just--I see how hard you work, ya know? And I want to be like you, Kristoff.” 

He didn’t say anything, but she saw the pink return to his cheeks as he took a large bite of his burge. Anna couldn’t help but smile as she sipped her tea. 

She really hoped he understood how much he meant to her. How much he really did inspire her to finally be a person. To work, to study, to love… She wanted to support him as he supported her. Anna wanted them to go through the rest of their lives together. She  _ wanted _ him. 

o~o~o~o

As he drove her home, the radio blared classic rock through the speakers. Anna tapped her fingers along to the beat, singing the songs she knew as Kristoff belted beside her. Why did she find it so sexy that he could sing so well? Shaking her head, she decided not to dwell on it.

Instead, something else nagged at her. She confessed she loved him, but she still felt incomplete. He hadn’t brought it since they’d left the restaurant. Anna worried she had embarrassed him since so many people were around when she said it. Of course, she could’ve waited. But it all felt so bottled inside her. If she didn’t tell him, she’d thought she’d burst. 

Gulping, she quickly pushed the radio knob, cutting the music off. 

“Anna, what the hell!?” Kristoff whined, clearly offended by her suddenly stopping his tunes. 

“You aren’t mad at me, right?” 

A confused look flashed across his face. “What?” 

Fiddling with her thumbs, she avoided looking in his direction. “At the restaurant… I kinda just yelled that I loved you.” 

He let out a nervous laugh. “Yeah, you did do that. B-But, I’m not mad at you. Never for something like that.” 

“I didn’t embarrass you?” 

“Oh, you did. But I was glad to hear it more than anything. I was worried that I shouldn’t have said that to you the other day because of what happened. I didn’t want to scare you away.” 

Anna reached for his arm, smiling as he glanced away from the road to look at her. “You could never.” 

“Well, no matter how much you embarrass me in public, you’ll never scare me away either.” 

Humming, she smiled shyly as she glanced down. “Um--Hey, Kristoff?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Will you… be my boyfriend?” 

His grin split his face. “I thought you’d never ask.” 

o~o~o~o

Anna wasn’t sure how it happened, but a few weeks later she found herself in Kristoff’s lap on the couch in his home. Her arms were wound around his neck as her lips melded against his. His fingers buried themselves in her short strands of auburn hair. Heart roaring in her chest, Anna felt a tingling burn from the pit of her stomach all the way to her toes. It was almost overwhelming. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt like that. 

When she adjusted in his lap, Kristoff groaned into her mouth as her crotch brushed along the growing bulge in his trousers. Anna was stunned to say the least… he felt much different than who she’d been with prior. 

During their liplocking, Kristoff’s hand traveled down her back and up her shirt. His fingers brushed gently along her spine, making Anna sigh. His hands were callused and rough, but so gentle with every timid tough to her skin. Oh, how she loved this man. She couldn’t help it when her own hands began to roam. Though the muscles of his shoulders and arms were rather thick, he was pleasantly soft around his stomach. She just wanted to touch every inch of him. Anna’s palms ran back up his chest to cup his cheeks. Anna’s heart fluttered when he cupped her hand and pressed a kiss to her wrist. 

His honey eyes searched her, half-lidded and full of love and desire. A look reserved just for her. Leaning forward, she pressed her forehead to his. 

“I love you,” she whispered like a prayer. 

His lips twitched as he bumped his nose against her own. “I love you, too, Anna. So, so much.” 

“Can we, uh, go upstairs?” 

Kristoff leaned back, giving her a once over as if double checking her meaning. Anna hoped the look she was giving him was alluring enough. 

His voice cracked when he responded with: “Yeah,” before clearing his throat. 

Slipping his hands beneath her rear, he easily lifted her off the couch. Not that Anna really weighed much at the time, but it was still attractive regardless. Anna wound her legs around his waist, placing her head on his shoulder. He easily moved her from the living room before trotting up the stars. His bedroom was the only room up the stairs, so he reached the room easily and plopped Anna onto the bed, making her giggle in response. 

Kristoff climbed on top of her, his hands on either side of her head. Anna naturally reached up to grab his face and pull him down for another round of smooching. The blond didn’t seem to complain as his lips slanted against her own. Anna found herself getting lost in bliss. The feeling of his lips against her own was quite addicting. She never wanted it to end.  _ This _ is what love feels like.

Suddenly, he pulled her up, sitting her flush in his lap. His hands were sneaking beneath her crop top again. As he began to slide the material upward, Anna pulled back from the kiss. 

“I don’t have boobs,” she blurted stupidly. 

Kristoff barked a laugh at that. “Yeah, I know, Anna.” 

Swallowing thickly, she nodded. She squeezed her eyes tightly as he pulled the top over her head. When her skin was bared, Anna let out a shaky breath. No one had seen her like this. No one had seen her scarred, folded skin where her breasts had once been. 

All the air left her lungs when Kristoff touched her. He placed his hands on either side of her chest, his thumbs running across the scars on her chest. There wasn’t much feeling for her there, but it still made her hair stand on end anyway. His palms rubbed down her sides and back up, Anna hated that she was so frail. Before treatment, she had been a bit thicker. But it didn’t seem that her boyfriend was complaining. 

Kristoff pressed his lips to her forehead. Her eyes fluttered open as she met his gaze. His smile was so soft, so gentle. One of his hands found purchase on her hip, the other cupped her cheek. The way his eyes bore into her own felt more intimate than any touch ever could. 

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured as his thumb brushed along her cheekbone. 

Her chest tightened. “Kristoff,” she gasped, his words sending shivers up her spine. 

Grinning, he nuzzled his nose against her own before grabbing her hips and pressing a kiss to her cheek. He then traveled downward along her neck and shoulders. He laid her down, kissing her chest and her scars. 

Anna reached up, burying her fingers in his golden locks. Kristoff smirked down at her. “You know, I expected more freckles.” 

“Shut up,” she giggled. 

He kissed her again, but this time Anna fisted her fingered into his shirt and pulled. He got the message and detached from her enough to slip his shirt over his head. Anna drank in the sight of him: the muscles of his shoulders and biceps, the thick line of his jaw as he swallowed. She rubbed her hands along the dirty blonde hairs of his chest and navel. Despite not being a virgin, she sure felt like one. This all felt so new. So different. She wasn’t being pushed around, pulled, or controlled. 

Kristoff dipped a finger in the waistband of her shorts, a silent question on his face. With another nod, Anna scooted back more fully onto the bed before bravely unbuttoning her shorts and yanking off the jeans and her panties in one fell swoop. Her boyfriend was apparently unprepared for such action as his face flushed at the sight of her body completely bared to him. Anna felt so vulnerable as he looked her up and down, taking in every inch of her. 

She bit her lips with a shy smile. Kristoff licked his lips before brushing his fingers along her bare hip, running down to her freckled thighs. How could she feel so small yet so desired at the same time? His hands were so much bigger than her own, bigger than her in general. When he squeeze her thigh, his palm almost consumed all of her skin. 

He slid his hand over, fingertips dancing over the tingly skin of her pubic bone. She hoped he didn't mind the barely there hair dusting above her folds. It may not be something many think about, but when one loses hair due to chemotherapy… they lost it  _ everywhere _ . 

If it bothered him, his reaction didn't show it. He seemed enamored by her, engulfed in deep seeded desire. Kristoff's hand traveled further, dipping into her folds. His touch was so soft and delicate that it sent Anna's brain into a tizzy. She couldn't tell if he was teasing her or just genuinely enjoy his slow touches. 

But Anna couldn't take it anymore. She'd waited so long for this. So long to finally  _ feel _ this  _ want _ for someone again. So long to finally be with Kristoff like this after months and months of his kindness and patience. His love and understanding. Emotions that have been bubbling for so long, simmering inside her just waiting to burst, were finally on full display for him. She hoped with every kiss he could feel her pour every ounce of love and desire she had for him into the action. 

Moments moved quickly after that. Like every was a blur… but also felt like slow motion. So many things were happening, but her brain processed them so languidly. Kristoff rid himself of his own clothing. Anna gasped at the sight of him, cheeks flushing. She felt like such a virgin… Why did everything with Kristoff feel so new? So vulnerable? 

Pressing a hand to his chest, she gently slid her fingers down his chest, over his stomach, and past his navel to reach… When she stopped just short, Kristoff gave her a pitiful glance from beneath his blond locks. Taking pity on him, she gently stroked his length. A shuttered breath left his lips, and Anna idly wondered when he’d last been touched like this. She hadn’t really asked Kristoff about his previous endeavors of romance. 

“H-How do you want to…?” 

Anna was taken a bit back by the question. She’d never been  _ asked _ before. That just wasn’t something Hans did. Blinking, she glanced away and removed her hand from him and pulled it shyly to her chest. “Um… Well, it’s been a while and, uh, it might not be the most comfortable of things for me right now s-so… Is it okay if you’re on top? I know that’s, like, boring or whatever but--” he waved his hands in front of him, shaking his head, effectively cutting off her bumbling words. 

“Nothing with you could be boring, Anna,” he said with a smile. 

She felt her shoulders deflate. “Kristoff…” 

“A-Are you ready to, um…” 

With a quick nod, Anna tried to hide the excitement that rushed through her at his words. Scooching back on the bed, she fell back against the pillows with a sigh. This was so unfair. Why was his bed more comfortable than hers? 

Kristoff crawled along the bed--Anna tried not to snort at his manly bits bobbing comedically as he moved, this was  _ not _ the time to snicker at him--and reached towards his drawer. When he pulled out a box of condoms, Anna gave him an expectant look, cocking her brow bone in a questioning manner. 

He shrugged, sucking his lip between his teeth. “Wishful thinking?” 

Anna laughed at that. “How long have you wanted to seduce me, Bjorgman?” 

Suddenly, he was hovering over her, smirking in a lustful way that sent heat pooling in her belly. “Don’t make me answer that,” he teased.

Snorting, she decided to drop the subject considering they were a bit busy at the moment. But she filed that question away to bring back up later. 

Kristoff tore the foil and rolled the rubber on. Anna grimaced, noting that it definitely didn’t look comfortable. However, in an instant, her worries washed away when his attention was back on her. That half-lidded gaze just made her melt into the covers. His larger hands gripped her thighs, spreading her legs further. Sucking in a breath, anticipation stirred in her veins. Anna’s fingers shook as she reached up to cup his cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice so quiet and gentle. 

“Yes, I’m just… nervous, I guess.” 

He bobbed his head in understanding as he smiled again. “You’re okay, I’ve got you.” 

She swallowed, watching carefully as Kristoff dipped two fingers inside of her. Anna yelped, clenching at his neck. Kristoff simply kissed her jaw in response as she buried her face into his shoulder. His movements were so soft yet foreign. Had it really been so long since she’d been like this? For it to feel completely new? Completely different? 

After preparing her, the blond leaned forward, moving his hips towards hers. He gripped his length and brushed it along her folds before slowly entering her. Every part of her body tightened as she sucked in a breath. Anna’s palms flew to the bed, fisting the sheets tightly. Her breathing was shallow as she arched towards him. The stretch of him within her caught her off guard. She hated to compare… but he was nothing like Hans. He hadn’t felt anywhere near what Kristoff did. 

New sensations had her toes curling as a whimper left her lips. Her boyfriend’s hands traveled up her thighs and purchased on her hips as he bent over her. After he pressed a ginger kiss to her lips, Anna fluttered her eyes back open. 

“Are you sure this is alright?” 

“Yes, I’m fine. You can move. It’s okay, I promise.” 

Anna wasn’t sure when she wound her arms beneath his own, nor when the stretching sting was completely overtaken by a feeling of bliss and pleasure. So many embarrassing sounds bubbled from her throat and past her lips, but Kristoff’s grunts above her only egged on her reactions. Every rut of his hips had her spiraling, tipping her closer and closer to the edge. His mouth connected with hers so many times, but Anna wasn’t even sure how he could find it in himself to multitask so well. She could barely focus on her lips against his when he was moving so soundly against her. 

There was a quivering in her thighs, so much pleasure building within her until he finally brought her over the edge. Never had she seen a man with such self control, letting her finish first before allowing himself to follow suit. Anna cried out as the sensations overwhelmed her, feeling her walls tighten around his length. 

The groan that left his throat was heavenly. Kristoff was truly an angel among mankind. His lips mashed against her own again. The once passionate kisses were instead slow and lazy. Just kissing for the sake of kissing. Anna took time gathering her wits as he finally slid out of her. Panting, she placed a hand over her heart, feeling the rapid beating as Kristoff discarded the soiled rubber into the nearby garbage. 

Returning, he collapsed beside her, flopping onto the pillow next to her head. His breathing wasn’t nearly as winded as her own. In fact, Kristoff seemed cool as a cucumber. Anna found herself jealous of such stamina. He reached out, winding an arm around her back and pressed her flush against him. His nose nuzzled against her forehead before pressing a small peck there. 

“That was nice,” she murmured into his shoulder. 

He laughed at that. “Did you like it?” 

“Mmhmm..” 

“It wasn’t too much?” 

She giggled, shaking her head. “No, that was perfect.” 

Anna noticed his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. She waited patiently for him to speak again. “I know it’s not a mansion or anything, but, uh, would you like to stay here for the night?” 

Propping herself up on her elbows, she looked down at him. “A sleepover with you and Sven?” 

“Uh, I don’t know if I’d call it a sleepover…” 

Anna blinked before smirking at him. “Oh? No naked pillow fights or late-night girl talk?” 

“I mean… A naked pillow fight is definitely on the table.” 

“So, you  _ do _ want to keep me naked.” 

“Anna.” 

She couldn’t help but bark a laugh. “Yes, I’d love to stay. Just let me text Elsa and tell her I’m not coming home.” 

Kristoff hummed, grabbing her shoulder and pressing her chest to his own. “Yeah, Elsa can wait just a bit longer for that text,” he chuckled before gripping her short locks and pressing his lips to her own. 

Yeah, he was right… Elsa could wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you believe I started this stupid chapter the DAY I uploaded the last chapter?? I was so busy and trying to write (what I felt to be) the most important chapter of this story? STRESSFUL. 
> 
> I'd like to note, I'm not trying to paint cancer in a positive light. It's a horrid disease that I've seen first hand. But for Anna in this fic it made her truly start living. And that's the message I wanted to convey. 
> 
> Next chapter is the epilogue! Ah yes, it's finally coming together.


	12. epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it...

Anna never thought there’d be a day that she’d see Kristoff in pink, but it wasn’t a bad look on him at all. She really appreciated him coming to the Breast Cancer 5k Run to support her. Of course, Elsa and Gerda had accompanied them too. 

While Elsa and Kristoff only wore their matching t-shirts and running gear (which were Anna’s idea--Gerda wasn’t running so she didn’t need one, but she did wear her own pink top in support), Anna wore a pink tutu, pink socks, and a bright pink bow in her curly, bobbed auburn strands. She was quite proud of her decked out pink ensemble. Kristoff also called her cute, so that was even more of a win in Anna’s book. 

Anna wanted pictures before the three of them got super gross and sweaty from running, and Gerda happily obliged her when she hooked arms with her sister and boyfriend and forced them to pose with her. Neither seemed to complain, though, which she was thankful for. When Gerda handed her the phone back, Anna was thrilled to see how well the photo turned out. In fact, she was even tempted to post it. She hadn’t posted on any social media in ages, aside from private stories on Snapchat. But she figured… maybe it was time. Maybe, it was finally time to come out with everything she’d been through. The photo itself was very telling. Each shirt had its own message: Elsa’s read “I run for my sister,” Kristoff’s: “I run for my girlfriend” (which Anna  _ loved _ ) and Anna’s read: “I run for ME.” And damn, she meant it. 

She hadn’t been very vocal about her break up with Hans… but better late than never, right? Besides, maybe it was time to show off her new man. Her shiny, new upgrade, she mused to herself. 

Kristoff hadn’t posted anything about their relationship either. He told her he’d wait until she was ready to make the information public. Even telling her he wouldn’t tell his family either, but Anna didn’t feel that was fair and encouraged him to be honest with his parents. Including the cancer. 

Apparently, Bulda was very insistent on meeting her soon. Her boyfriend explained that his parents had moved out of Arendelle to Rock Valley right after he graduated, but he opted to stay in the area. She could understand that considering what the family had been through. So, they’d decided they’d make a weekend out of it soon and drive up to his parents’ house in the next few weeks. Anna would be lying if she wasn’t nervous--but also extremely excited. Meeting the Bjorgmans would be a wonderful experience, she was sure. But at the same time, she didn’t want to bring up anything she shouldn’t. She didn’t want to be a reminder of what they’d lost… Kristoff had assured her that wouldn’t be the case. But… she still had her doubts. 

After smiling down at the photo on her phone, she held it up for her boyfriend and sister to view. Elsa gasped and grinned. “Anna! I love it! Please, send that to me. We need it framed.” 

Anna snorted at that. “Is… Is it okay if I post it?” 

Her companions all looked surprised at the question. Kristoff tilted his head. “You sure?” 

“Yeah,” she said with a nod. “I think it’s time to stop hiding from the world.” 

Elsa wasn’t one to be super emotional. Not since their parents closed her off from the world and forced her to be cold. But when her eyes became glassy, Anna worried she’d said the wrong thing. Quickly, her sister grabbed her hand. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” 

Smiling, Anna nodded and logged in for the first time in forever. She decided that going through and deleting pictures of her and Hans would be the next thing she did. Like the picture of their proposal… yeah, that’d need to  _ go. _

But, that was not the time to think of that. The run would start any moment. 

Anna walked with race--with an occasional jog her and there--since her endurance still wasn’t quite built back up. She encouraged Elsa to really go for it (her sister had a bit of competitive spirit), and while the flaxen blonde originally seemed hesitant, eventually she decided to go for it in a full out sprint. Kristoff stayed by Anna’s side, holding her hand through most of it. 

Elsa and Gerda were waiting for them at the finish line. 

o~o~o~o

Meeting Bulda and Cliff went better than Anna expected. It was like meeting the parents she’d never had. Doting, kind parents that truly cared every bit for their children. Anna couldn’t help but imagine how different her life could’ve been if her parents had been the same. But she knew it’d be wasting time to dwell on such things. Her parents were gone, and she couldn’t change that. Couldn’t change them… or who they were. 

“Oh, hun… Kristoff obviously isn’t cooking enough for you. You’re so skinny.” 

Kristoff hissed at her. “Ma, she hasn’t even been done with chemo a year yet. Chill out.” 

Anna felt an inward of panic at the mention of chemotherapy. Would that be an upsetting topic for them? She didn’t want to remind them of their traumatic experiences. She didn’t know what it was like to lose a child to cancer, but she did know that she’d lost her parents. And how that felt…

But Bulda brushed off Kristoff’s comment. “You better be taking care of her!” 

“Mom!” 

Giggling behind her hand, she watched the exchange of Kristoff bickering with his mother. At one point, Bulda smacked his hand with a spatula when he commented on the amount of spices she put in the dinner she was making. Anna had never seen her burly boyfriend yelp and cower like that, but it amused her more than she’d let him know. 

Apparently, she needed to invest in a spatula. 

When they sat at the small table for four, Anna couldn’t help but wonder if the seat she sat in had once been meant for Pepper. Swallowing thickly, she picked at the spaghetti before her. There was a ridiculous amount of food on the plate in front of her. It seemed maybe there was more on her plate than the rest… it seemed Bulda was serious about fattening her up. If this is how Kristoff grew up eating, it’s no wonder he ended up being so thick. 

He glanced at her, brows pinching in a silent question. Bulda and Cliff were chatting about their work days, not seeming to notice their son paying them no attention. But Anna just smiled to reassure him and scarfed some noodles into her mouth so as to not worry him further. 

Dinner wasn’t awkward by any means. Bulda made conversation rather easily. She asked about her family, mainly Elsa, seeming to evade the topic of her parents. That was probably Kristoff’s doing. 

Eventually, Bulda smiled at her. “Anna, would you care to help me with the dishes?” 

Blinking, she nodded. “Oh, yes ma’am, of course.” 

Kristoff gaped at her. “Mom, she’s a guest she shouldn’t--” 

Bulda gave him a  _ look _ , and the blond’s mouth snapped shut. 

Cliff and his son ended up on the back porch, despite how worried Kristoff looked leaving her behind. But Bulda just shooed him, apparently eager to have Anna to herself. As his mother began placing the dishes in one side of the sink, she shook her head with sigh before giving Anna a smile. 

“That boy is so protective of you, I swear. You’ll have to tell him you’re a big girl,” she said with a chuckle. 

Anna smiled. She wouldn’t admit aloud that she really did enjoy how Kristoff could be overbearing at times. At first, she was a bit weirded out, but as time went on… she realized how much she craved that attention. It was something she hadn’t gotten from her parents, or even Hans for that matter, so a little bit of overprotection wasn’t too bad. Kristoff wasn’t overly possessive or anything, just a healthy enough amount to fret over her. 

When Anna didn’t speak, Bulda continued on. “He was the same way with his sister. It’s just instinct for him,” she explained as she ran the water. “Could you dry these for me? If it hurts, just say so.” 

Nodding, she agreed. “I can do it.” She was mostly telling the truth. The feeling in her fingers had returned. It was only sometimes when she did really tedious tasks would the painful tingles return to her joints and fingertips. 

“I want you to know that you don’t have to be ashamed around us. Or feel like you need to walk on eggshells for us. We lost our daughter, but we can talk about it. It’s alright.” 

As Anna dried a dish, she pursed her lips and looked away. “A-Are you sure?” 

“Of course, dear. If we don’t talk about her, she’ll fade away. It’s okay to talk about the good and the bad. Acceptance is how you heal. We can’t avoid what happened.” 

Chest tight, she nodded. “You’re right. F-From what Kristoff had told me, she was a really sweet girl.” 

“Oh, she was a good girl. Could be a little devious sometimes, but it was just cause she wanted his attention. Kristoff was so much older than her, sometimes I worried they wouldn’t be close. They were definitely siblings… picking on each other all the time. But she adored him, and he adored her.” 

Anna hummed. “I feel the same about my sister. We didn’t really get to grow up together, but now that we’ve become close, it’s a bond I wish I’d gotten to experience sooner.” 

Bulda handed her another dish. “Kristoff told me a little about your family. Not much, though. But I won’t pry. I’m sorry to hear that you and your sister have gone through a lot.” 

“Thank you.” 

“Let me be honest with you, dear… Never feel guilty for surviving. Just because others didn’t, doesn’t mean you should be ashamed that you did. Always remember that. You deserve to love and live life. Kristoff has never looked at anyone the way he looks at you.” 

Anna took those words to heart, filing them away to hold onto forever. Bulda was right… 

It was okay to live. 

o~o~o~o

Anna sat in his lap, her lips on his as they pressed their bare chests together. Kristoff’s fingers twined into her auburn locks with a gentle tug. She had no idea that hair pulling was a thing she liked, but since her hair had grown out they both discovered something new about her. Kristoff seemed to enjoy it… he’d give her hair a small yank at random times just to fluster her, and it often worked. 

But she stopped him, pulling her mouth away from his. Anna glanced down between them, gazing over her body. The marks and scars, the many freckles and bumps… 

“Anna?” 

Her eyes met his. “There’s something we need to talk about.” 

Blinking, his brows furrowed. “Okay…?” 

She didn’t want to worry him. Not really. But this was something she’d been avoiding since they’d started dating. And, especially now that they were intimate, it needed to be discussed. 

“I-I don’t know if we need condoms or not.” 

“...Huh?” 

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Anna wanted to smack herself. What a stupid thing to say. A horrible way to go about this. Damn, she was an idiot. 

“I mean… I don’t know if I can have kids.” 

“Oh.” 

Fidgeting with her thumbs, she vaguely realized that this was a really uncomfortable position to be in while bringing this up. They were both topless, his cheeks were flushed with kiss swollen lips, there was a very clear bulge pressing against her through his jeans. But she couldn’t let this go on. Not without telling him. 

“Dr. Mattias said there was a chance that the chemo could make me infertile. I-I haven’t exactly asked him about checking up with that. So, I don’t know if I can even get pregnant naturally.” 

Kristoff nodded. “Anna… I want a family someday,” her heart dropped, “but only if it’s with you.” 

Jaw dropping, she couldn’t help but feel stunned at his admission. “W-Wait, really?” 

“I love you. There’s no one else I’d rather have a family with. Look, I was adopted, so I don’t have any qualms with doing the same.” 

“I-I mean, we may not have to. But I’m glad you’re open to the idea. A-After Dr. Mattias told me about the risks, I  _ did _ have some of my eggs frozen. B-But there’s no guarantee that it could work, a-and I don’t have boobs and that might cause problems, so I didn’t want to get your hopes up or anything or--”

Kristoff pressed his lips to hers, effectively shutting up her. “I want  _ you _ , Anna Anderson. No matter what that entails. Whether we have children of our own or not someday, I don’t care. As long as you’re the one with me.” 

A girlish giggle bubbled past her lips. 

“But uh--” he cleared his throat, “I wouldn’t mind finding out if condoms are a necessity or not because, ya know, I wouldn’t mind… going without?” 

Smirking, she simply pushed him down on the mattress. 

When Anna woke, bare aside from the sheets covering her skin, she was alone. Kristoff had to be at the jobsite at 6:00AM where he’d work a few hours before heading to the coffee shop. It was nice that both bosses were accommodating him as he adjusted. It was strange thinking about the fact that Kristoff would no longer be the first face she saw when she entered Arendelle Roasts. Oaken was kind enough to allow Kristoff to make his own schedule for his last two weeks. Ama was proud that he would be turning to construction full time after working so hard to learn the ropes. 

It did suck to know he would rarely be beside her in the mornings, but when she started her classes at AU then maybe they could share a breakfast since she had to be up anyway. 

Rolling over to check the time, Anna laughed at the sight of a chocolate chip muffin sitting on the nightstand waiting for her. 

o~o~o~o

The bell chimed as someone entered the door. Anna glanced up from her spot behind the counter, smiling when she saw Kristoff walking towards her. 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite customer,” she cooed. 

The blond snorted at her. “Pretty sure you stole my line.” 

Anna hummed, a mused tone in her voice. “Nope. Can’t be your line if I’m the one working here now.” 

“Because you stole my job.” 

Scoffing, she rolled her eyes. “I was  _ hired _ here, thank you. Now, do you want a Maple Harvest or not?” 

Beaming, he leaned on the counter. She was thankful it was closing time and there were only two other customers finishing up their cups, so Kristoff heckling her at the counter wouldn’t get her in very much trouble. “Already got my coffee memorized?” he teased.

“Don’t act like you didn’t memorize Elsa’s drink.” 

“That’s because you always ordered it as an excuse to talk to me.” 

“Lies,” she snapped while biting back a smile. Yeah, he was right. But oh, she would  _ never _ give him the satisfaction. 

Anna went to the machine to begin his order. Ryder peaked around and smirked at her. “You know, I thought you two would get tired of flirting eventually.” 

Laughing, she shook her head. “You should know both of us better by now.” 

“Touche.” 

When Anna returned to the counter, Kristoff was ready with money in hand. She looked between him and the cash before tilting her head with a knowing smile. “It’s on the house.” 

“Anna…” 

“It’s on the house,” she repeated as she wrote on the cup.

After she handed it over, Kristoff gave her a flat look when he saw that she’d written “Christopher” on his drink. “Why do you torture me?” he grumbled. 

“Because I love you.” 

She really did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. 
> 
> Thanks you guys for sticking around the last few months. I know this wasn't the easiest topic to tackle, but I'm really happy with it. Honestly, there was more I wanted to shove into this epilogue, but I really like that I covered all my bases that I wanted. Again, I can't thank you all enough for reading.


End file.
